Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a
bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: "Slim, I'm
83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're
about my age. How do you feel?"
Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby."
"Really!? Like a newborn baby!?"
"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants."
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HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE.
George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi, was going up to bed when
told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she
from the bedroom window.
George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that
people in the shed stealing things.
He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and he
Then they said that all patro