Yesterday was the big 2-0. In many ways it was just another day to me. No party. No presents. Just a quietly sung Happy Birthday from my mum and dad and a promise of something later. We went out for lunch to celebrate I suppose but that in itself was nothing special. Maybe I'm selfish. I had a nice party last year but this year was pretty much a let down. Oh well. To add salt to the wounds not one of the people i consider "close friends" sent me any type of Birthday message to my knowledge.
Wow. It has been a long time between entries hasn't it? Things like blog entries tend to get moved to one side and forgotten when your live becomes more complicated like mine has in the last six months.
I moved house twice and am now back living with my parents but not by choice. Several months ago I was diagnosed with Intracranial Hypertension which basically means fluid is building up in the front of my brain and putting pressure on the backs of my eyes. Usually this fluid would naturall
I bring you all good news! (Well I think so anyways) I have internet again! yay. I've actually had it for a couple of days but it being Easter weekend and all life has been too hectic to really use it much.
Friday was lunch at the parents then a seafood BBQ here at home with L&S and a friend of theirs, Theo. Saturday we were out and about a lot. Sunday was parents house again and then I came back here only for Simone to get a call from my mum wanting us to come all the way back there be
Hey guys. This is the first time I've had access to the internet since I moved out last week. I'm at the parents house for the day and for dinner and stuff so I decided to get my much MUCH needed internet fix while I'm here. Hopefully I'll be connected at my new place in the next week or two. Fingers crossed.
So I guess I should give an update on what's been happening since my last post, yeah?
Well. I've moved in with L&S. I've bought myself a new bed and matress and bedspread which
Well I'm back home. But only to get my car and stuff. I've decided I'm going to move in with Leah and Simone on a more permanent basis. Maybe all I need is a new start of sorts and to be out of the almost comfort zone home has become. I also don't want to deal with my mother at the moment. Unfortunately I have to soon. I'm waiting for her to come home so we can talk.
More soon maybe.
So I mentioned having "bad thoughts" in my last entry right? Well they were getting pretty bad, and I tried to tell my mum last night when I heard her get up to go to the bathroom. She got angry for me wanting to talk to her at like 1am so I didn't mention what I was thinking and feeling. I didn't end up getting to sleep till 4am mostly due to TOU distraction and having Natalie to talk to.
Well this morning I tried to tell her again and tried to show her that angst filled private post I ment
I decided to start reading The Ordinary Us an hour ago and a half ago because it was the only think I could think of to use as a distraction to keep myself from thinking about things I don't want to be thinking about* and I'm up to chapter 6. f**K I want to knock some that denial out of Quinn. HE IS GAY! I hope he comes to at least accept that soon. Sigh.
*Bad thoughts = me feeling very depressed and crying and an agst filled private post in my Livejournal and me dumping all my thoughts
So for a while now I've been flirting with the idea of going to the local gay youth group. It's for guys under 25. I say I'm flirting with the idea but I don't think I could ever actually bring myself to go. But I know I have to.
I need to get more of a social life and this group would be a good way of going about that. But as I've stated before, I'm not good with people. Especially new people. And I'm definately intimadated about putting myself out there as a "new guy" in this sort of sett
I have a busy day tomorrow. I have several things I need to get done.
I *need* a haircut. I've been putting this off for way too long now. The last time I had it done was in November last year. My hair looks like a nest it is so thick. And it's annoying how it always gets in my eyes. I don't know whether or not I should just get it cut or get a it coloured as well. Coloured means more money and I guess that'll be the deciding factor depending on how much they quote me. I also need to decide
I was just reading some of the posts in the domaholics forum and even though I love his stuff I can't claim to actually be a domaholic myself because I actually have yet to read The Ordinary Us. I don't know if I will either. Why? I'm not sure. I know it must be great because it is Dom. But I don't know. I sometimes don't make sense even to myself.
But apart from TOU, I was and am addicted to all of Dom's other stuff. Well I haven't read Service either but that's just because the plot isn't
Last night I went to Leah and Simone's for a BBQ. It's amazing how I manage to stay friends with them. We are just such different people. I was certainly the odd one out of them and the other few people there.
The conversation of the night was focused mainly on cars and when they have been pulled over by the cops for doing doughnuts and burnouts and speeding and just being general hooligans. They also talked about whom they hate and friends who they now hate because they're "f**king sluts"
When I talk to people, be it online or off, I always find myself holding back. Re-thinking what I'm about to say two or three or even four times. That seed of doubt that if I'm too much myself or share too much about myself than just the basics that rejection or polite scorn will be what I get in return. I can't help it. I know it's silly. But when I can't accept myself at times, I find it impossible for anyone else too.
So far I have only three or four people as friends I feel I'm able to b
I have a terrible problem. When anyone other than my parents or sister asks me to do something I can never say no. And once again it has gotten me into a little trouble, be it only financially.
What have I done you may ask?
I've agreed to go away for the Easter Weekend with my friend Leah and her girlfriend Simone.
Not so bad you'd say.
Well it is when the room we will be renting for the weekend is going to cost me a whopping $105 a night. And for three nights that equals my e
If there is one thing I hate about living in a neighbourhood that is predominantly retirees? It's the fact that when you go for a walk the only people available to perve on are other people's grandparents. *shudder* I can not wait till tomorrow morning when I go into Town for work because I'll actually have some cute guys to look at on the walk there from the train. heh.
At the moment I am trying to decide between reading a book I started earlier this morning or joining GA's live chat. It's
Well I've gone and got myself another one. A blog that is I seem to collect these things, although so far I've only managed to keep my Livejournal updated, for three years as well. Let us see if I can do the same here. I hope so. Gay Authors is a really great online community, and I haven't felt as welcomed as I have here since creating my LJ all those years ago
If anyone actually reads this thing, I should warn you I tend to go off on tangents a lot and most of them aren't interesting at