I'm writing this because I read Edward Keenan's column in the Toronto Star newspaper today. It made me sad, angry and frustrated, with our city, those of us who live here, and most especially with those we elect to care for us and our city. Mr. Keenan wrote so well about how this city was once known as Toronto the Good, and it was at one time that people here cared about each other. Now, not so much, as Mr. Keenan wrote, it is Toronto the Hostile...I'll add Toronto the Uncaring.
We give to
Do you ever wonder what you're doing? Sometimes, I think that I don't think at all. I do things often without enough thought, and then there are consequences to deal with—not always huge ones, but still enough to make me wonder.
Lately, I've been telling myself that I need to get up to write and set up a daily routine. I'd get up, but I found all kinds of excuses not to write anything at all.
Yesterday, I decided, for some health reasons, to make life more like a job now that I no lo
Lately, I've been interested in the psychology of gratitude. As I suffer greatly from depression, I like to try anything that I can to keep those feelings at bay. From what I've been reading, writing down what you're grateful for helps people manage their environment, deal with others, and live in general. So, basically, if you have higher levels of gratitude, your life is better, and in turn, you are more grateful—a neverending spiral of goodness.
If you're interested in doing this, it is
So, as some of you know, I stopped working on September 1, 2023. I didn't really retire; I can't do that for twenty-fourish years, but I did quit doing paid work. I realize I'm very lucky to have this opportunity. I am grateful to my Husband, Michael, for making that happen.
So, what do I do with myself? Not a lot. I spend time at home, looking after the house, and with spring here, there's the garden, which will keep me busy. I've completed a few knitting projects and have started to make
This morning i was thinking about a conversation i had with a fellow writer last night, about a forum post i read and a newspaper column i read a few minutes ago.
Then I thought, what the f*ck? If you took all of those and used them as examples to explain what life is and what living is, no one in their right mind would want to live one.
None of it was good news or happy news. My friend's life is hard right now. The forum post was from a writer whose life is painful and difficult due
So... Kidnapped is still nearly finished, i've added a few more chapters, and i think i'm finally working on the last one. I sort of got interrupted by working on the Secret Author story. I will finish Kidnapped and post it. Then there's the one for the anthology. That needs to be finished too. It's a maybe, if I'm honest.
What else? Oh, we are living now with our other partner, Dan, in his nice smallish house. It's mostly quiet here, and i love the garden and sitting out there with Michae
While i've not gotten Covid, it did a number on me and lots of others, too, i know.
This week i managed to write and post a poem, the first in what 2 years? I am so very nearly finished with Kidnapped (working title) ... i have edited the first 6 chapters and finishing writing chapter 20. I will finish it.
i was inspired to after events in the last week. my FiL has cancer he's been fighting it for over a year now, and on Saturday, my MiL called and said that he'd like to see everyo
************* WARNING... thoughts about death and dying. **************
To be honest, the thought of dying was terrifying to me.
i thought about it all the time. First thought in the morning and the last at night. For years.
Today, maybe i'm more accepting that, frankly, there is no damn choice in the matter. Now maybe how i die is what i dwell on. If given a choice, i'd rather just go to sleep and not wake up.
That's why surgery really doesn't scare me. If i di
Someone said, "I just want you to be happy, tim."
He's a sweet man. A friend.
i thought about what he said.
Happy. What is that? I'm not unhappy all of the time. Sometimes i am. Suppose everyone is.
Most of the time i am aware of the hollowness in my chest. It sits next to my heart and i wonder about the ache and emptiness there. It feels like a hole or entrance to the past. i fight to find and to shut that door, but it never truly closes.
I don't believe in happ
***Warning: This is a bit of mess. It's rather like the head it came out of. Just be glad you don't live here full time.
So, i've been away for a while. i'd pop in here and there but i found i just couldn't be here for any length of time.
There's a lot of sadness here for me. Things have happened. People deciding things about me, without discussion. Deciding things about me for reasons i'll never understand. And as is normal online, they can just stomp out of the room rather th
We signed up for weekly veggie delivery. Their mandate is to distribute fruit and vegetables that are not 'good' enough to sell to the usual markets and stores and sell them to subscribers weekly. It's $18 for the 'solo' box and $3 for delivery.
So far it's been great. We've eaten everything, tried new things and enjoyed it all. We've had the most amazingly fresh food. It's cheaper and so much better than what we can purchase in our local grocery store. We've had the best peaches and cantal
Canada Day, July 1st. A National Holiday in Canada, but what is Canada Day? Well, to lots of us it's a day off work.
To me, it is just that normally. But since I'm writing this blog, this year it's been on my mind a bit more.
The Government of Canada website says this: It's the Day Canadians across the country and around the world show their pride in their history, culture and achievements. It's been a day of celebration, where many festivities are held across the country, since 186
Amateur.
That word usually conjures up negative thoughts. Like: "They played like a bunch of amateurs" or something done poorly.
The thing is it doesn't really mean that. It means doing something for the love of it, for pleasure.
My favourite quote about being an amateur comes from an old film... A Christmas Without Snow. i saw it on tv one Christmas season afternoon, while Jeff and i huddled in our room. i was writing what would become my street poems then, and i remember this
******* WARNING ******* Do not read if you are offended or triggered by references to suicide.
I know I am dreaming as I lay in this fog. Sounds fade in and out, echoing as I drift away to other places and lands.
I know also time is fleeting and there is very little future ahead of me. This I know to be true. Some truths are self-evident. This is one of those truths. We can deny it, pretend otherwise, wish, rail, scream and beg, but time does not wait. It marches forward and we
Readers for the most part are here to read. Not help us improve. Nothing wrong with that and mostly it's all good. That's the big draw on GA, the interactions with others. It's brilliant. I love the comments readers leave.
But there really is no book or magic beans or contract with the devil which will make you a better writer. So how to improve?
First you need some talent for the written word.
Second and maybe the biggest thing is: Authors have to improve themselves.
It is
Many of us observe the world through a window
Nature entertains us with wind, rain and snow
Crows dive and swoop over tree tops
While squirrels run and gambol with no fear,
— wondering where the nuts are.
My poetry has been limited lately .. but i haven't lost my sense of humour completely yet.
Prose too, is suffering, though in the last few days I've been able to write a bit more on the new story @Wayne Gray and i are writing. Not a lot though, ma
So, i have been home since March 16, 2020.
I think working from home, really brought home to me really how serious this virus is. Yes, i'd read about it and all the deaths in China. Read about people trying to get back to Canada and people stuck on cruise ships. But the Bank doing this huge about face and letting us work from home, really made it real.
The first few weeks i really struggled. i felt lost and afraid. i could feel it in my back and shoulders, in my chest. It felt like som
I work in customer service.
Customer Service. Sometimes it seems we are so bound up in rules, laws, and policies, that we do anything but serve our customers. Most of us there want to, really want to help. Most of us have empathy and care ... even though there are times we want to slap some of them when they are obnoxious and rude.
This week, well yesterday in fact, something happened. Something simple, that made my whole week worthwhile.
Background: We offer a program that let's
I was out with Michael last week, in a local grocery store and while He was looking at poppadoms ... i wandered off.
Wow, i found pickled garlic. Pickled garlic if you've never had it, is a wonderful thing. Delicious with a steak, a good sandwich or served with antipasto or just cold cuts.
But i digress, this store, which has ideas above its station, had small jars of pickled garlic on SALE for $7.99. I mean if there were two full heads of garlic in there i'd be surprised. The
i am grateful for many things in my life. i have been Michael's collared sub for nearly ten years. i am grateful for that. i am grateful for all He does for me and for us.
i am truly grateful. i am not very good at showing that i am. i am not very good at telling Sir that i am.
my rules have become blurred, and lazy and i do things by rote. i am working to correct this.
many subs greet their Dom in the same way ... we kneel and our Dom pulls us close into
The Things They Carried is a wonderful book.
It is a book about the Vietnam war, especially about a group of American soldiers. I've read a few books about the war, and I've always been fascinated about the treatment of those returning. No ticker tape parades for them. Bad things happened in that police action, I know.
This book was written by Tim O'Brien. He himself is written into the story because he was there, yet it is fiction. And I cannot be positive, but I'm sure
Did you know you can be seized with a lethargy? You can, it's an archaic noun, but you can be.
I have been.
Things had been going along great guns for a while. Started taking Natural Calm. Suddenly i was sleeping ... all night ... What a difference not being tired makes. I felt calm, i felt happy. I went to the shrink for my weekly visit. He was happy. A couple of weeks ago he reduced my meds. He said that likely in the New Year we could reduce my visits a lot.
Something happened yesterday that tossed me off the rails for the evening and halfway through the day, today. Well, not off completely but it has made me think - a lot.
i have a tendency to just say things. Often i shouldn't, and things that are to me a joke, are not always taken that way. Especially when it is about something relating to my/ our lifestyle. Most of you who read this blog, or my work know i am a submissive. My Sir, Dom, Husband is Michael.
When i made t
I messed up today. Again. And i spoke to Michael about it, and asked his permission to write this.
For a long time, I'd heard this term: mindfulness. It sounded so much like a catchphrase because everyone was using it. Be mindful.
What the heck does that even mean? Took me a while to figure it out even after I'd looked it up.
Turns out I am pretty bad at it. The Doms in my life tell me so. Sometimes directly, sometimes in other ways. I
I believe you should eat when you are hungry, so not necessarily three meals a day. I don't always eat breakfast. So, today my very dear friend said she was hungry. Tra-la-la ... So eat! Ah, but there is the rub. It was breakfast time and she's at work.
I was a bit growly this morning, snappish, so when she showed me a picture of a package of Instant Oatmeal with maple syrup and brown sugar, I was bitter. I said, get some real food.
While it's better than some things,
