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A Thought For You.


For me personally, the last two weeks have been a quietly controlled spell of manic activity in the bigger scheme of things. For a while, I have been locked down in a world of woe, wondering what tomorrow will hold and when the inevitable is going to happen.

 

It is never a pleasant feeling, knowing that you are headed for a world of pain, and there is nothing that you can do to avoid it, side step it, or even really prepare yourself for it. These are facts of life, nature in all of its cruel splendour, the things we have no control over, pain, sadness and sorrow that there is no words for, no proper way to describe, no real effective means of communication.

 

What is lovely about being busy is the fact that my mind has little time to ponder these circumstances. I have thrived over the last two weeks, not only from the personal fulfilment of a long time desire, but also from the satisfaction of feeling productive, needed, back in control of something. It may sound stupid, but being able to make decisions, being allowed to make a contribution, being involved as a working part of the dynamic is a strangely rewarding and liberating feeling.

 

In some ways I am ashamed to admit these words. Regret that I feel this way. Feel bad that I like to feel alive and part of something that I can influence, control and manage. The feelings of uselessness are abated the frustration of having to sit and watch, unable to change the course of nature is soul destroying and only depresses the mind, body and spirit. There is only so much that one person can handle, and when we are faced with things we cannot affect, we are not only completely out of control of destiny, but also out of control of our feelings and abilities to deal with what is happening around us, this is when we find ourselves at our lowest. This is when we are vulnerable, exposed, out of our comfort zone, alone!

 

I know what tomorrow holds for me. Maybe not in the physical sense of tomorrow, the day after today, but I know what is coming in my near future, and as I struggle to prepare myself for this eventuality I have begun to realise that I am totally incapable of preparing myself. I do not have the skills or the experience to know how I am going to handle the things I will have to face. I know not, where I will find the strength to do the things I will have to do. I cannot begin to plan for it, do not want to face it, cannot accept that it is necessary.

 

Yet, this is my lot. This is the reality of my situation, and so be it. I begin to understand too, that while I am not in a place or frame of mind to really be able to cope with these things, I am in some ways starting to plan for these times. While focusing my mind on things to keep my busy right now is in keeping with my trend of burying my head in the sand and pretending I do not have to deal with these things, in so many ways the things I am engaging in right now are the foundations of my preparation for life beyond my current situation in life.

 

Networks and friendships I am forging with people who understand, care, love without condition and share without expectation are the corner blocks of setting up a life line, a safety cord that I can reach out and hold in the dark times ahead. There is a sense of relief in knowing that someone, anyone will be there. Loneliness is a curse that no one wishes to meet. It is one that far too many of us live with, accept and embrace. It is a bitter pill that swallows us! I don't want to feel alone, and I know that you don't want to feel its embrace either, so when a simple post card drops through my letter box, the person that took the time to write it can never know how special the words scrawled across the white surface mean to me.

 

When a short and simple message pops up in my message box saying here is a random hug for you, on a day I was just thinking about you, the writer of that message can never truly know how much the words enclosed in that missive sent through the marvel of the internet really means to me.

 

The cheerful banter in a chat room, the laughs we share on skype... The stories that I manage to get lost in, the encouragement through comments, feedback, conversation..... It all adds up. And I don't think we really give full credit to the power of these simple actions we undertake on a day to day basis. You are reading this thinking, "heck, maybe he is right," or maybe you are not, but did you stop and realise while you are reading this, just how special YOU really are?

 

No? Well take it from me, in my eyes each one of you that make the effort to be a friend are so much more than you allow yourself credit for. It is people like you that make the world spin. You give life meaning, bring a sense of purpose to survival, and without realising it give value to the things, relationships, actions we each undertake, that we become a part of, that we live for daily.

 

Those things that have kept me busy for the last two weeks, gave me cause to sit and think to myself today while I was working. Yes they kept me active, they thrilled me and involved me and made me feel productive and useful. However, they also gave me a reason to reflect on how much I value the contact that I have with people. People like you reading. Many of you will interact with me in some way, simple and brief as it is, it is appreciated You may be reading and have never spoken with me before, yet what I say rings true in your own mind, and mirrors itself on your own experiences. Who knows, maybe in reading this blog you will for the first time reach out and say hello, to me or someone else important.

 

Whatever it is that prompts us to take an action, make an effort, touch a life, it is our humanity and our need to be seen and to feel needed and wanted and accepted that allows each and every one of us to add value to each others lives. I am much like you, much like the person next to you, much others dotted in over 7 billion places across this globe of ours. We are all essentially the same, thoughtful, vulnerable, curious, mysterious, unique, interesting, judgemental....

 

I could carry on using words into eternity but at the bottom line of things, we all have to accept that we are no better than the richest or the poorest, the most arrogant or most humble, most knowledgeable or most severely disabled among us. I am NO better than you because of what I do or who I am, and the same goes for you. When we overcome this perception of ourselves and our fellow man, maybe we can begin to understand how special we are, and what level of potential each of us holds. We can change the world by touching people, we can reach out and fill that void of loneliness, fear and pending hurt. We can all make a difference to someone's life, circumstances and sense of self worth, and is that not something worth trying to do?

 

For today, I am grateful that I have reached out here, and made friends. Friendships that I treasure, relationships that grow with every day. I say this kind of thing often, and will continue to do so, as I really do believe the things I have said before, right now, and will say in my future are true, important and real. You are Special, today, tomorrow, forever.

 

Thought for today - "Butterflies do not know the colour of their wings, but human eyes marvel at their beauty. Likewise you cannot see how good you are, but others see and know that you are special." Author Unknown

 

Song for today - Feeling the Moment by Feeder

  • Like 2

10 Comments


Recommended Comments

joann414

Posted

You blogs are always beautiful, but this one made me tear up and reflect on the last months with my mom. You have a lot ahead of you, and my heart and thoughts go out to you.

 

Never feel alone, for I am always here, maybe not to touch your hand, but hopefully, I can touch your heart in some way that will bring you solace and comfort, and a little more strength to get through the days ahead.

 

Hugs Rob,

Jo Ann

  • Like 2
Yettie One

Posted

Thank you Jo Ann

Love you ! :hug:

carringtonrj

Posted

Always enjoy reading your thoughts.

Yettie One

Posted

Thanks RJ :hug:

Always love getting your feedback :)

NotNoNever

Posted

Life comes. And goes. At its own pace, and in its own way. Your troubles are manifest, but it is better to enjoy what you can, in the time you can. Leave your feeling of powerlessness. It only detracts from you because you allow it the luxury of your attention. Better to accept that there are natural spans, and nothing you have done is a cause. Take power in taking heart. By doing that, you will ease the burden for yourself and others involved. But espcially for yourself. Your heart is strong because it is big and it is full. Allow it to power you, and to deny powerlessness a grip on the continuum.

 

Blessings.

  • Like 2
Mark92

Posted

Hey Roberto you always speak so wisely, and yeah at times I listen as well as hear. :) You always make me smile man. But I'm sorry, I have to say,

Your music still sucks :P:hug:

  • Like 2
Ashi

Posted

You've always put a lot of thoughts in your blog and that always in turn, gives me a lot of thought. I really like your blog. Don't feel down, or at least, don't dwell on it, because it's only transitional. That's why there is a blog here, right? People can read it if they want, and don't if they don't feel like it, and you don't have to care if they care or not, because it's your private space. What you need now is a GIANT hug. :D:hug:

  • Like 2
rustle

Posted

Yeti, I don't know what you're facing, and won't ask or pry. It's rare that I read a blog.

 

But, if you need or want, my hands are empty, my arms open, and my mind clear. If you need a virtual hug, a chaste nibble on the neck, or a good brushing, you only have to ask.

 

The darkness is not so pure as to be without light.

 

Love to you, brother.

 

rusty

  • Like 1
Percy

Posted

Your blogs always give me so much to think about; your joys, your melancholy beautifully expressed.

  • Like 1
Yettie One

Posted

One of the things that I love about being free to write and express myself, is that the people that read and respond do so from so many different places in life, and each and every one of you have so much to share and give. Your words back to me, the idea that you took time to read and write your own thoughts, the concept of sharing only serves to prove what I say above. Fundamentally we are good people, we have faults yes, but we are born to be a part of society, and I love watching people come and go and learning to love and appreciate each one of them.

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