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Qboi1956

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I have been thinking about writing professionally for years now but have never managed to go through with it. Much of my trouble stems from me being a rather random thinker in addition to being unfocused and lazy. When thinking about things in greater depth, I think the problem lies deeper in my psyche. I know I am capable of writing because this is flowing easily out of my mind, through keys on a keyboard, onto the virtual page on my laptop’s screen.

 

Throughout my life I have been quite capable in expressing myself both verbally and through writing. My experiences at high school and university attest to this fact. Only when I was a small child in The Netherlands did I struggle with writing- the physical act of putting pen to paper and creating something legible- until I was challenged by my teacher in year 4. He ‘took no prisoners’ and insisted on me producing better quality work, daubing messages of disappointment all over my untidy and messy written work: “Sloppy” appearing on nearly every page in my various notebooks.

I soon learnt to put more effort in right from the start, and even though it required more thought and forbearance, it allowed me to actually go out for recess. When I moved to a new country (Canada) and new school, I found myself blossoming as a student and managed to produce such good quality work in grades 7 and 8 that I ended up with the General Proficiency Award at graduation. My diligence in the presentation and content of written work continued through high school and university. I have had some work published in university community publications too. Apart from teacher’s appraisals and input, never have I received harsh negative feedback on my writing.

 

When I launched into my career as high school English teacher, I knew I was capable of writing and assessing the quality of others’ writing too. Incidentally, the children’s picture book I wrote for my Teacher’s College English module was enthusiastically praised by my professor who said it was outstanding. Then why did I go on putting my own writing career on hold? Why am I still struggling and procrastinating? When I dig deeper, I think it all has a great deal to do with my self confidence and its manifestation in the anxiety I experience when it comes to producing written work.

 

What am I scared of when it comes to my writing? As my personal life coach I have been working with over the past few months put it to me (paraphrasing) “Who decides if the writing you produce is good quality?” She also suggested I pose myself the following question: “What would it take for me to set my own benchmark and not to require external validation?”

 

Writing this blog in a public forum is my first step to acknowledging that anxiety around my writing is a concern I have. I think the only option I have is, using Susan Jeffers’ words “to feel the fear and do it anyway.” Only by putting myself and my work ‘out there’ can I move forward and progress. Every writer has to deal with criticism and rejection along the way- I accept that- and who knows, maybe the worst critic is the one I’ve always feared most: the inner one that exists deep within me!

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Thanks for sharing. I've been wanting to write for a while, but it wasn't until recent times that I thought I should do something about it! For me, at the moment, i'll be taking small steps. I started a blog on GA (not quite ready to make a really 'public' one yet) and i'll experiment with stuff there. I think if we just do what we can do to make sure that we work at it hard, then that's good. When that's done, then the reception of your work from the public is out of your control. Good luck!

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As a wise man once said, "The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."  What he didn't tell anyone that the first step is always the hardest.  Way to go!

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I've found GA a good place to develop writing skills whether through blogging or fiction.  Overall a good community here, light on criticism and long on support.  You've got a good start here with the blog post.

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You haven't said what kind of writing you'd like to do professionally. Do you want to be an author of narrative fiction?

 

I'm a math guy with a terminal degree in the discipline. But there was a story inside me (an autobiography, actually) that was aching to get out. I couldn't hold it back, and I was aware of venues that would be receptive to that kind of writing. Venues that had such low standards that nothing I threw out there could shame me (I'm talking about Nifty) lol.

 

One I'd established a presence at Nifty, I got noticed by a blog owner whose blog was devoted to higher-quality LGBT narrative fiction, and he asked if he might host me. I was blown away, and after voicing a few misgivings to him, I eventually agreed. His blog has since died, because he had neither the time nor capital to keep it going...but there were a couple of other sites interested in hosting me, and I ended up saying "yes" to them as well.

 

Eventually Gay Authors was willing to host me, and now I consider this place my "home" for my narrative writing.

 

I've learned so much about writing on the way, From feedback and from self-study. In fact I do well enough to have made a business from writing. Not as an author of narrative fiction, but rather as a commercial free-lance writer. And all because I threw myself out there on free gay-fiction sites.

 

If you enjoy writing and are willing to do it in compliance with the needs of the multitudes of businesses who are hiring freelance writers, you can become a "professional writer" with relative ease. The market certainly isn't shrinking.

 

If, on the other hand, you'd like to become a published-and-paid author of fiction, then the odds of success are much, much longer.

 

Either way, places like Gay Authors are good venues to get your feet wet. For one, you can forget about being embarrassed that people will think you suck. There are really very, very few discriminating readers here or anywhere else. Most of them wouldn't recognize the difference between good and bad writing if it came up and bit them on the face, and some of the most popular authors here wouldn't know that difference either. On the other hand, there are a handful of really astute readers here who are also willing to be of genuine service to writers by providing them with quality feedback, and gently.

 

Given that I make the bulk of my living by writing these days, I'd be happy to help you out with a look at your stuff. But in any case, take the jump and throw some narrative at us. See how it feels. See how the crowd responds. Do you have a story or three in you? That's why we're all here, and you're among friends.

 

Do it.

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