I noticed I am on my way to become a gay separatist... (kind of like radical lesbian feminist separatist, except I am not vocal about it and I am not a woman). I don't know why and I don't think it's healthy. This is especially weird because the world is becoming more gay tolerant (than when I grow up).

I wonder if it's because I am getting older and just want to get a BF and hopefully a committed marriage (sorry I am so skeptical nowadays, I have to put that qualifier in), and forget about the world of straight people. Not all straight people are insensitive, but I've met plenty... (and GA doesn't count, because the folks here are gay friendly and know some gay common sense like "just because he told me he is gay doesn't mean I can tell all my friends about it"). I certainly don't want to sound like a militant jerk if straight people becomes passive-aggressive when I told them they're projecting the straight way of thinking onto gay people. I am not articulate. It frustrates me just thinking about how to explain something that cannot be told, but experienced. Most of such experience is poignant, unglamorous, and mundane anyways.

I just want to be an ordinary gay person, with a BF who would love me for who I am and live a boring domestic life. Ironically, I probably would have a better luck being a straight guy and achieve that (except the gay part). But life is just sick and twisted like that.

It also bothers me greatly people keep trying to do matchmaking for me. My Facebook already has two female friend suggestions and I wish I could just click "ignore" but I can't because the referral person is my uncle. When you're single and my age, relatives can just get nosy.... If I clicked ignore, it's an unofficial answer to the perpetual gossip, "Why is Ashi still single?" I am not ashamed of my sexuality, but I don't need people to pity my parents either.

I need my own space. One day there will be an utopia where gay people can just be. No explanation, no apology, just be.... Now, where can I go shopping for a boring domestic life?