They say you can't pick your family but I sure wish I could. Between my immediate family and my mom's extended family I would trade the whole bunch of them in. The family dynamic between all of us is dysfunctional and that is putting it nicely.

Many many moons ago my great-aunt asked me why we don't address my my aunt's and uncle's by such titles and just use their names. If she were here now she would probably tell me to be respectful but how do you be respectful to people who treat you like crap and don't deserve it? That great-aunt was my paternal grandmother's sister and that side of the family gets respect but the maternal side I wish I could just wipe the slate clean. It is a situation between my aunt and my mom that has gone on for far too long and some people are hard headed about it. My mom being the bigger person apologized but my aunt can't seem to let it go. They are separated by 16 years and my grandparents became grandparents before they were ready and were still raising kids themselves. This played a big piece in who we were treated by my grandparents. My mom's sister is only 9 years older than me and 6 years older than my brother. We were there when she was growing up and they all seem to forget that.

My Mom's siblings are what I would call toxic narcissistic people. They use you for what they want and to get information about you about others. My younger sister talks to them quiet a bit and frankly I think she lies to us when she said she hasn't told them anything. I avoid the bunch of them like the plague ever since my grandfather passed away. I was thrown over the coals then and I haven't really spoken to them since. I lost a lot of respect for them at the time and they have done nothing to gain it back. My maternal great-aunt was surprised when I didn't show up at my cousin's wedding. It was my subtle message that I really don't care what they think. My great-aunt asked my mom why I wasn't there as my grandmother told her it was because of my allergies but my great-aunt didn't believe her. When she found out about all that has been going on after she broke up the fight between my mom and her sister at my cousins wedding my grandmother won't talk to my mom. Apparently my great-aunt cornered my grandmother and confronted her on a lot of things and my grandmother was not too happy. Especially since she told my grandmother why I really didn't come. My grandmother probably told everyone which is why I've gotten comments from my cousin who's wedding it was that me not being there really sent a message to some others.

The reason I bring this up....When I get the job offer I am going to be moving across the country to the Mid-West. It looks like it will be in West Des Moines, Iowa, where I don't know anyone, My mom's family will then come out of the wood work and pretend that they care and I know I will get tons of Facebook requests from them as they are nosy. All will be rejected because I really don;t care about them any more. It is sad and yes they are family but I couldn't give a rats ass.

I am going to take the Iowa job for many reasons. One is to get away from my immediate family. My parents I will miss but my siblings not so much. Over the course of the last few weeks they have all been fighting and arguing over stuff. My youngest sister was in 2 accidents and spun the car and last night my brother spun the car. They both say its the car and my parents disagree and told them both there is more to the story and they aren't telling. My brother was given a warning by the cop who witnessed it but my sister was alone when it happened. My direct younger sister is a manipulative person. She gets what she wants and my mom provides her free day care and has been helping her with her bills and all. My sister takes advantage of the situation and my mom never gets a break. I've called my sister out on it but she doesn't care. She is very much like my mom's sister which is probably why they are friendly with each other.

Me on the other hand I've got nobody. So I am going to start over somewhere far away where there is no family to intrude. I might get lonely but hey I am in a house with 6 other people and I am lonely all the time. My one friend is mad that I am moving and the other she is busy planning her wedding and finishing up her last semester in college. So I sit here and write this long winded blog to say I really don't care for any one in my family and can't wait to disappear.