Not a very happy Valentine's day. The weather sucks. Not just here in the America, but generally, except perhaps in Sochi.
My son has finally admitted he is a complete fuck-up and has broken his mother's heart.
He has been a financial and emotional drain for almost all of his adult life. It started when he was just eighteen and just out of highschool when he decided he just had to get married to a seventeen year old highschool dropout. She was a bitch from hell. Devious, controlling, narrow minded, prejudiced against almost everyone and spiteful. She gave my son ten years of hell before he finally broke free of her. Thankfully there were no children. However, he was already ruined. He had learned all her bad ways of mishandling money and credit and of being a person who never did more than the minimum to get by and was unashamed to borrow and never pay back from any and all.
My son who was an Eagle Scout as a teenager had become little more than a bum.
They experimented with drugs. He has an addictive personality and been addicted to tobacco since he was fifteen. I tried to explain that he was easily addicted and to avoid experimenting as he could easily get out of control. His response was to conceal it from us. He also got into going to the casinos and gambling.
At thirty-four I worry that he will suicide. As it is, it appears he is doing just that in slow motion as I doubt he will make it to age forty. He has recurring bouts of very bad bronchitis which smoking worsens.
We seldom see him. Only once or twice a month and then it's usually because he needs money. He always has a story and his mother always wanting to believe the best hands over cash for his "emergencies".
Now it seems he is abandoning the area and moving a couple of states away and wasn't even planning on telling us.
The sweet laughing boy of his youth is just a memory for us and we are mourning our child.