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Valentine's day



Not a very happy Valentine's day. The weather sucks. Not just here in the America, but generally, except perhaps in Sochi.


My son has finally admitted he is a complete fuck-up and has broken his mother's heart.


He has been a financial and emotional drain for almost all of his adult life. It started when he was just eighteen and just out of highschool when he decided he just had to get married to a seventeen year old highschool dropout. She was a bitch from hell. Devious, controlling, narrow minded, prejudiced against almost everyone and spiteful. She gave my son ten years of hell before he finally broke free of her. Thankfully there were no children. However, he was already ruined. He had learned all her bad ways of mishandling money and credit and of being a person who never did more than the minimum to get by and was unashamed to borrow and never pay back from any and all.


My son who was an Eagle Scout as a teenager had become little more than a bum.


They experimented with drugs. He has an addictive personality and been addicted to tobacco since he was fifteen. I tried to explain that he was easily addicted and to avoid experimenting as he could easily get out of control. His response was to conceal it from us. He also got into going to the casinos and gambling.


At thirty-four I worry that he will suicide. As it is, it appears he is doing just that in slow motion as I doubt he will make it to age forty. He has recurring bouts of very bad bronchitis which smoking worsens.


We seldom see him. Only once or twice a month and then it's usually because he needs money. He always has a story and his mother always wanting to believe the best hands over cash for his "emergencies".


Now it seems he is abandoning the area and moving a couple of states away and wasn't even planning on telling us.


The sweet laughing boy of his youth is just a memory for us and we are mourning our child.


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How heartbreaking for you and your wife.  I wish you the best and hope your son gets a hold on his life in a good way.  Your children sadly become adults and their own person.  As much as we hope for the best, it doesn't always turn out that way.  Hugs.

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Thanks JoAnn!  I always try to stay upbeat and hopeful but this really has me down.  I have cried an ocean and feel I have a few more oceans of tears to go.  

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I'm sorry, Dave. Change can come though and when, or if it does, there is an enormous sense of relief that comes with it. Surprisingly, it is felt more for the person lost than for yourself. You're so happy for them. I can speak of this, not for a son but for my only brother. He managed to recover from many of the things you mention and more, in his late thirties. If nothing else, there is always hope even if you need to be pragmatic about it.

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Thanks for all the kind wishes.   He at least finally called his mother today.   I think he is too ashamed to talk to me.  Life has many hardships and I usually don't complain, except about the weather!

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