Except that actually, our flight will be to Agadir. I'm taking him to Morocco. The only other place where it looked like guaranteed sunshine and where there was a cheap flight was the Canary Islands and we couldn't see much accomodation available outside of resorts. So, Morocco looks cool. I've got copies of the Lonely Planet Guide, lots of backpacker stuff. We want to see Marrakesh and we'd love to see Casa Blanca and Tangier but I don't want to dash around on this holiday. Agadir where we land has great surfing in the winter (in fact it's year round but the swell is very low in the summer). I've picked a hotel and am hoping to get a confirmation of the booking by email today. Sixteen pounds gets us a double with ensuite in a real hotel rather than the backpacking hostels we usually stay in but I want to spoil Surfie a bit. And then we'll make a trip inland by train to Marakesh to see the souks and lose ourselves in all the history for two nights. I want to visit a hamam and take a tour in the desert. Most of all, I want to relax though. I don't want to do anything strenuous; I don't want to have anyone else around who needs looking after or entertaining. Just me and Seb lounging and being waited on. London is so cold and grey most days right now that the thought of lying on the beach in the sun almost arouses me .

Anyway we'll be there for my birthday and this will be the first time I've not been with family for that but then, he's going to be my family so that's OK - this will be practice for later.

I'm not really explaining this very well am I? OK - Seb's here and we're going for a short break to Morocco. We leave Thursday and return on the 4th of March.

I really am not looking forward to being 18. I mean, I'm not seriously against it but I love school and my friends so much that it's going to be a wrench leaving for Uni. Of course, I get to be with Seb full time from then on but I'll still miss the comradeship and all the little daily rituals of school life together. I worry a bit that I won't make friends quite like these in France. It's a fact about French culture that people don't make deep friendships easily. Of course, in a way it will just be the reverse of now. Now I see my friends every day and have Seb in the holidays. Since we'll be living by the med I'm pretty sure that our friends will be wanting to visit at every opportunity and I know for sure that No-no and Phillip will stop at nothing to come and see us.

It's months away but going to Uni brings other transitions in my life into focus. After study a job and then making a home and a family - however we can do that. And then? Does it then settle down until we retire in 50 years time? It doesn't seem likely in some ways. I don't know how long I'll be at Uni but it could be quite a while. And I know that I need to find a job, a means to life that I can build my dreams around not one that just pays the bills and leaves me desperate to get home every day. Well, it's a long way off still. I'm feeling too optimistic to worry about any of it right now.