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Life Changes Sometimes


Sasha Distan

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I've been gone for a pretty long time. Hi guys... remember me?

 

When I bowed out back in March, it was because we were getting prepped to move house. We bought a three bed semi-detached with a little garden and had to leave the big wild - we didn't go far, but houses in very rural Sussex are deeply expensive.
We moved the day before my birthday, so I get to say I bought myself the most expensive birthday present ever!

 

So we bought a house, got some chickens, and in April I finally got the thing I'd waited my whole life for: Dashi is now not quite 6 months old, a gorgeous little lurcher pup bred by friends of ours from the farm. I got to choose him when he was only 3 1/2 weeks old, and he is the most adorable creature. His mother is a rabbit dog, and Dashi is going to be trained up to be a fast little hunter too. He's already damn quick.

 

So we've been busy, but I'm sorry to say, but I'm not back. This is not me returning happy and triumphant, even though I am deeply happy and triumphant. Dashi is sleeping by the back door, I'm sat on the sofa, and we are content. Cris got a better job, one he likes better, involves more high level coding and more money. Plus he likes his co-workers. I finally finished re-writing the key stage 3 scheme of work for school (it only took 4 months!), and spent an inordinate amount of money on an enormous american double door fridge freezer.

 

But I'm not back. And here's why:

 

We're about to become parents. Not dog parents, but real full on actual parents. Soon, really soon. And we're both sort of terrified, and excited, and amazed. So I'm going to work on being prepared for becoming a parent, and maybe someday I'll be back again.

 

Thank you for everything. Thank you for being there for me, for reading, responding, and enjoying the work. Thank you for being patient, and kind, and a million other things.
And now you'll have to excuse me, because I have to go fight the instruction manual and build a crib.

 

love Sasha xxx

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That was such happy news! I tear up thinking back to those days, waiting for our first baby. Such turbulent, emotional times, when I went from being scared out of my mind to feeling I could take on the world and back again.

 

Take your time and build your family. I think you'll find writing can eventually be an outlet to just be you. As a parent, you often end up being "only" a parent. So maybe we'll get to read more from you eventually. I hope so.

 

Also, I'll give you the only piece of advice I give new parents. Take it or leave it...

 

Most things you have to work out on your own and see what suits you. Just remember to be kind to each other and bite your tongue on occasion. I know, it sounds like weird advice, but when you've had three months of no or little sleep it's all too easy to not be very nice. So just be kind.

 

Parenting is the most rewarding and fun (yes fun!) experience ever!

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Well finally! You guys have no idea how hard it has been sitting on this news!

 

No idea if you will have time to see these responses what with prepping for the new arrival and school and Cris' new job, but don't forget how skype works.

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You've managed to make me sad and happy at the same time... mostly happy. I love being a father more than anything else in the world, so I am beyond pleased for you. It's the most wonderful journey you will ever take. I'm only a little sad because I thought you were back. But now I see you are where you are supposed to be. Congratulations to you and Chris. Don't forget us... we will never forget you. When you're ready, we'll all be here... cheers... Gary.

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Like Gary I am both happy and sad. I am saddened to know you will not be we with us for the foreseeable future as I have missed your presence terribly. That having been said I am beyond thrilled for you and Cris. So many new are exciting things have happened and now the most incredible news of all, fatherhood. Being a father myself I have an inkling of what lays before you, though for each of us the journey is different. Your lives will never be the same, savor each moment for each is a blessing. When you moved to your new home I wished for it to be filled with love and joy, it seems that is coming to pass. May you have joy and fulfillment in all that is to come ... dughlas

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Congratulations!  At least you have a user's manual for the crib; there won't be one for the baby!  And every one is different, so a whole lot of the well-meaning advice you will no doubt receive won't apply. As Puppilull said, try to be kind. And read books with the child from the very beginning!  Lots of books! Good luck!

 

Oh, and a new baby should keep even Dashi awake!  ;-)

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Finally I get through You. First of all Congratulations for the house, dog and the new adventure you are going to take. I hope your family will be happy by this new arriving. I hope you will win the war, which is called 'Raising a Child'... All the best and be Happy...

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