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Skinny's Sorry

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skinnydragon

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First, I’m sorry if I caused any trouble on GA. That was never my intention.

 

No one wants to read about another person’s illness, so I’ll make this brief.
Last Tuesday morning I went to our emergency room due to strong abdominal pains. After a scan, the ER doctor told me I have stage 4 pancreatic cancer; it had already spread to my abdomen wall and into my liver. I’m a realist, and there is only one prognosis – which is obvious. It’s just a matter of how long.

 

The rest of the week was spent in a larger hospital on a ‘medical campus.’ During that time, I was mostly doped up and out of it. Only when I got home did my friends find and old laptop and connect it to our internet.
I check into the ‘cancer hospital’ of that medical campus on Wednesday morning for a final test and hopefully a realistic appraisal of how much time I have left. It’s the only question that means anything, yet is the one they don’t want to answer. I guess it interferes with their sales pitch or something.

 

I always thought cancer was something I didn’t have to worry about until I was older, especially this one. But it seems when you’re younger it is more common for it to be discovered in late stages because your body is strong enough to hide any symptoms.

 

I can only write when I’m in pain. Then I take my knockout drop and fade away. This blog entry was written in Word, over five cycles so I could post it now.

 

Thanks for all the good wishes sent my way, and thank-you to AC, who takes friendships seriously. OK, that's all I can write right now.

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25 minutes ago, MacGreg said:

I'm just now reading this, just now discovering skinnydragon. I did not know about any of this until I started seeing/reading posts tonight honoring someone who clearly touched so many lives. I am deeply touched by what I've read and the great wave of grief expressed by everyone. I started out knowing nothing, now I'm heartbroken. This community on GA is unlike anything I've ever known. I'm sorry that I missed the opportunity to know skinny. I wish him peace. I wish the same for all of you. 

What a wonderful posting, Mac <3

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@comicfan  The grandmother story was sad, and evoked the feelings which we all have when missed loved, departed ones. I felt sorry for the boys that they only got to visit her just before the end. They should have been there a lot more in the previous months. But the feeling of missing out fits too.

 

To everyone contributing to chapter 1 - thank you for all the lovely words, i enjoyed them all, even when they made me :,(

Thank you again to AC Benus for setting this up. 

Edited by Timothy M.
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I keep coming back to this. The young have no business dying. Beautiful hearts must not stop beating. The invisible touch of a compassionate word lingers but the promise of feeling it again cannot be broken. Loving souls should not dismember into nothing but memories. 

 

But they do. Too often and too soon and too fast and too easily, they do. 

 

And whst hat hurts most of all is that we know this one thing to be true in a world where we search and search for something real to hold on to.

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