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What I Want

MichaelS36

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I read about what people say about lockdown and this pandemic. I watch my beautiful boy suffer from sadness he doesn't understand. Watch him choke back tears he doesn't know why he's crying. In the dark of night I hold him close when his dreams are bad and when he needs the comfort of my skin. 

I listen to people complain about how hard it is. How they want normal back. 

I wonder what normal is gonna look like?

I am lucky that I have tim with me. Lucky that I can hold him close and that we are not alone.

I go to help my parents, and I look forward to the day that maybe I can hug my mother again rather than just wave to her.  I cannot fathom not being there when she dies or having my last words with her by phone. I want that to not happen.  But I am lucky and go and see them and wave. 

I never want to stop enjoying when a stranger says, Hi to me when we are out walking. We are in this together. Be kind, be generous of spirit. Smile.

We miss our new boyfriend. We talk with him and maybe there's been some sexting.. maybe a little more.  :rolleyes:   But that's no substitute for having him with us.  But we are lucky there's skype, phones and yes, webcams.

I want normal. I want to not stand 2 metres from everyone. I want not to wait in lines to shop. I want toilet paper, cheap meat, to eat in a restaurant, to hug my family and a shit ton more. 

Be happy, and be creative. Do not be afraid, this is our life. It may not be perfect, but it's what we have. 

 

I want a lot.

But right now I am grateful for what I have. 

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Sometimes it does feel hard and inconvenient. But people have lived through worse. We can do this and come out stronger on the other side.

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well said Sir
i try not to complain, take a deep breath and know that yes, it's hard. but it beats the alternative.

i'm glad that You were moved to write this, thank You

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Well said and beautifully written. One day this will all be over and we will be able to do whatever we want but for now we must just be grateful for what we have. I know I am grateful for what I have. I hope you and tim are keeping well and looking after each other.

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4 hours ago, Mikiesboy said:

Sometimes it does feel hard and inconvenient. But people have lived through worse. We can do this and come out stronger on the other side.

We can and we will, boy xoxxo

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4 hours ago, Kitt said:

There is a PSA  from a woman who just turned 100. She was born during the Spanish Influenza epidemic.  If she has done it once, and feels she can do it again 100 years later, then we can too!

 

Need someone to bitch at and let off steam? My pm is open.

I hope she does, and yes, we can. 

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3 hours ago, mollyhousemouse said:

well said Sir
i try not to complain, take a deep breath and know that yes, it's hard. but it beats the alternative.

i'm glad that You were moved to write this, thank You

It's okay to complain, or be sad, or worry. But talk about it with Phil, or a friend. It will help us to be grateful. 

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3 hours ago, chris191070 said:

Well said and beautifully written. One day this will all be over and we will be able to do whatever we want but for now we must just be grateful for what we have. I know I am grateful for what I have. I hope you and tim are keeping well and looking after each other.

Perhaps, chris. I think it will be sometime before this ends, hopefully with a vaccine. 

tim and I are well. Still getting on fine though we are together 24/7 … that makes me happy in itself. 

I hope you both are also. Thank you for your comments. 

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11 hours ago, MichaelS36 said:

Thank you, Thorn. 

I hope you are well. 

Thank you. I'm managing. Keeping busy with some music production. :) 

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