My life was uneventful and very boring until Green came along. I used to be this shy kid that had a close nit friendship with a couple of people I've known since kindergarten. I used to be a goth (thank god I grew out of that because it really didn't suit me) with black hair and I loved to blend in the shadows. I used to love to just read myself into oblivion, then I meet the one person that changes my life. He leads me down a path of happiness and fear, or should I say emotional roller coaster of love and trust including some rough points that stretch us to the edge and back.

Today at lunch I thought about how much I love him as he embarrassed the hell out of me. He in one of his acts of Genius (see previous posts) dropped a whole plate of lasagna on my white shirt. This was of course followed by his insistence that he can eat it all back up which he proceeds to do by sliding under the table and coming up between my legs. Then as the manager kicks us out with a few choice words he tries to undress me in the middle of the street.

So now as my boyfriend (soon to be ex if he keeps undressing me in public ) sits watching me from the other side of the table, I contemplate how lucky I am to still have him here alive and healthy. I remember that night we went to see his family and we ended fighting his cousins. I truly felt like he and I were a team. Then that night we spent in that hotel room watching that guy who was missing his piece dance for that old couple. I wanted to kiss him so badly that night, I wanted him to be mine. Of course he belonged to someone else that night.

I am writing this because I am so very grateful right now. Grateful that he is going to be around for us to have a real heartfelt and meaningful relationship. I know it's only been five months but I am ready to be with him for the rest of my life. He is looking at me right now but he doesn't know I am writing this and he has ice cream on his shirt LOL.

The first time I kissed him was the easiest thing I had ever done but when he ignored me after that my heart broke. I wasn't right with myself. My mother told me to fight for him. My father told me that If I didn't get him they were going to disown me. So I did and now he is mine.

Then there was his whole disappearance thing (Oh he better not do that again or I will be forced to make him commit suicide) that had me worried until yesterday when they told me that everything is alright and his tumors are not cancerous. I read what he had posted the other day and I wanted to kill him. "How could he," I thought. I felt betrayed over this and I thank everyone out there that told my boyfriend Green that he was being a big idiot. I want to be there when he needs me as he's here when all of us need him. Believe it or not David actually took this harder than me and I got kicked out of my dorm over this. David was so angry that he really wanted to move. He almost really did even though we did it to teach him a lesson.

Now this whole Selene thing will not get me to leave my man. We have called it a truce somewhat but I know how she feels and she knows how I feel.

Chaz I don't know, I love him...