Considering the fact that the crisis has past, I thought that I would finally, let you know what the thing (See my last blog entry.) was.
For about a month, the love of my life was in a full blown meltdown. You see, he was not out to his family, which was working for him just fine, then his mom started hinting about knowing that he was gay.
Unbeknownst to him. I had a conversation with his mom almost a year before where she had mentioned that she knew he was gay. During this conversation I neither confirmed nor denied her suspicions, as I felt that it wasn't my place to do so. I told her that she should talk to him. In this conversation she said that if he was, it was ok with her and that both she and his dad loved him and that nothing would ever change that. She also asked me not to mention our conversation to him, so honoring her wishes, I didn't.
Well, she decided not to pursue the matter and let the whole thing drop until recently, when she started to hint around that she knew. This caused Killer to go into a full blown meltdown. He didn't tell me what was going on, started breaking dates, and when I asked what was wrong he would just say "Nothing!", but it was clear that he was depressed.
This went on for several weeks. I've got to tell you it was driving me nuts. He even suggested at one point that we should see less of each other. Now during all this time, as frustrated as I was, I didn't jump all over him. If he wasn't going to confide in me I figured that I would back off and let him work it out for himself.
He finally can to his senses, if you could call it that, and decided to talk to me. We went out to dinner one night and afterward, sitting in my truck, he told me the whole story, He also voiced his fear, that if his family found out, he might find himself in the same situation that I had been in when my natural parents found out about me. (Now something that I should mention her is that I had already set up a lunch date for the next day with his mom, hoping she would know what was going on.) Then he told me he had come up with a plan to put the whole thing off. Ok, you've got to hear this, he can be such a dope sometimes. I guess it's one of his qualities that I find so endearing and sometime frustrating. Now don't laugh, remember he was under stress and in the middle of a mental meltdown. Anyway here is the plan he came up with.
His plan was to find some girl to go out with him and to see me on the side. Oh yeah! Great plan! I can tell you that I wasn't going to have any of this. Not making any comment on his plan, I told him we had to talk with Joe.
So that's what we did, we went back to my house and Billy repeated the story to Joe along with his solution. Now bear in mind that Joe, I don't keep anything from Joe, so he already knew about the confidential conversation I had with Billy's mom and he also knew that I had plans to see her the next day. And damn he's smart! The first thing he did is to assure Billy that if there was any "fallout" that he would have a place to live and that his life would go on, basically uninterrupted. Then he looked Billy in the eyes and told him that his plan was unacceptable. He could not use some innocent person as a cover to hide who he was. "It's not fair to them and it's not fair to you. Besides, I think you under estimate your parents."
Then he said something that would cause Billy's eyes to bug out. He told him that we were going to have a lunch meeting with his mom the next day. (He almost ran from the room. I can't really blame the guy, I'm sure he was terrified.) Joe then picked up the phone and called his mom and set it up. He told her that Billy had some issues that were bothering him and that Billy needed to discuss them with her and could we all meet for lunch the next day. He assured her that he and I would only be there for moral support, to which she agreed. Then he told her that he thought Billy was too upset to drive and asked her if it was ok with her if stayed the night at our house. I think she knew what was coming and said that she thought that was a good idea. So it was set, Billy was staying the night and tomorrow his big secret would be out.
What a night that was. Neither of us got much sleep, I spent the night holding him and assuring him that everything was going to be fine, of course he wasn't buying any of it. (Damn, I wanted to tell him that she already knew and that it was ok with her, but without her permission I knew I had to keep quiet. Besides, if anything was said I believed it had to come from her.)
The next morning, as you can guess, Billy was crawling out of his skin. When the time came to go he was having even more doubts. Joe told him that he was positive that everything was going to work out for the best and that it was too late to back out now.
We got to the restaurant and were lead to one of those private rooms they usually reserve for private functions, I guess Billy's mom had called and reserved it so we would have a private place to talk. We ordered lunch and as soon as the room was cleared she started the conversation.
First she thanked Joe and I for coming and said she knew that Billy had been hurting for several weeks. Then she dropped the bomb shell. She said that she knew what the problem was and had been trying to figure out a way to bring it to a head. She said that she was really concerned that Billy was in a depressed state and that it was her fault. She then told him that she knew that he was depressed because she had been questioning of his sexuality. She said that she felt that the close relationship that she had enjoyed with him all of his life was disappearing and that she was just trying to reconnect with him. She then told him that she had known for a long time that he was gay ("A mother knows these things" she said.) and that it had no bearing on the love she felt for him.
Billy's sat there for the most part with his mouth open not saying a thing, but now his eyes began to redden as tears fell. I've got to admit, I felt a little jealous. If only I could have had a similar conversation with my mom. Then the food came giving everything she had said time to sink in.
When we were finished she took control again, God I love this woman.
She informed him that she also knew that he and I had a relationship and that she believed that I had been good for him and didn't want anything to stand in the way of that. To that end she said there would be no secrets in her family. It wasn't fair for him to have to hide his relationship. She told him that she didn't marry a bigot and didn't raise any bigots, so it was time to end all the drama. She was calling a family meeting for that evening and was prepared to set things right again Billy tried to protest but she would have none of this, she excused Billy and informed Joe and I that she was taking him home with her, but quickly followed with "Eric, you'll be able to see him later, I promise." Then she looked at Billy and told him not to worry, by tomorrow this is just going to seem like a bad dream.
I want to let the readers know that I left out the small talk and other things that were not important to relating what went on at this lunch. Things like me holding his hand most of the time, etc.
It's been several weeks since we had lunch and my Boo is back to normal, no it's been better. No hiding, no telling half truths. My relationship with his mom and dad and his brothers has gotten even better than it was before, they treat me like one of the family. We had a long talk one night and I told them how Josh and I came to live with Joe. I think they are as much in awe of him as I am.
My faith in the human race is somewhat renewed when I see what has happened within Billy's family over the past few weeks. But in a way...it has left me a little sad. The fact that some parents can treat their children so badly for such stupid reasons.
Till the next time