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goodbye


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I said goodbye to someone who I can

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"so he could straighten his life out"??? At a gay guy's house???? Is that really the right place? :blink:

 

I'm sorry he got you depressed. But I'm sure it wasn't your fault he had to leave. But I'm kinda biased here. To be honest I'm happy he's gone. Now you have more time to write! 0:)

 

Tob :ph34r:

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Ok Dom, all kidding aside, your cousin is 19 right. He has spent the last 3-4 years of his life creating the person that was 'dumpped' on your doorstep. You gave him a chance to start making decisions without direct parental pressure, and guess what, he probably made the same damned decisions the same damned way because he doesn't want to grow up. Having a good role model is no longer what he needs, and any type of mentor is just someone to con in orderto make things easy for the next day or week or month or however long he can get away with it.

 

It is always a crap shoot when you let the stray puppies into your life and your heart. You generally know what their life has been, and they are so full of promises and best intentions, but very quickly they revert to their basic nature. If you had let him continue staying with you, nothing would have changed. Think about this, who asked that he live with you? Did he ask? Did his parents ask? Did your parents ask? If it was anyone but him, it was just other people trying to control him using you, and why did you say "yes"? If he asked, maybe he was genuine, maybe it seemed like an easy out of his current situation.

 

Of course you feel kinda guilty, you kicked him out because it was, ultimately, what you needed regardless of what it meant for his life. You took on a challenge and you failed to meet your (or someone else's) expectation of your abilities to change someone. Well duh, of course you failed. Maybe you could have tried harder or done something different right? Get over it Aiden, you can't fix your mom. He didn't want to change, he didn't want to give up whatever he is getting from how he lives his life. You did the right thing, maybe if enough people let him in, then throw him out, he will start to deal with what society expects from adults.

 

:king: Snow Dog the Domaholic Danderthal

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Guest Kitty

Posted

Sounds like you did the best you could do, but you couldn't do it for him, and you've got to take care of yourself.

 

Kitty

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Dom,

 

As Kitty and Snow Dog said, the only person who could help your cousin is your cousin. He has to want to change and better his life.....and until he is willing to do that and take the first steps, then there isn't anything you or anyone else that loves him can do for himself.

 

of course once your cousin takes the first steps, then others can provide him at that point honesty and moral support, but until that point, you did your best and that is all anyone can expect of you and all you can expect of yourself.

 

I hope you take the time for yourself to decompress (since I am sure it has been both emotionally, psychologically and indeed, physically draining)....then spend some quality (and even extra "researh" (*wink wink*) time with your BF and pray and hope for the best for your cousin.

 

IMHO, you did your best and then some....but the first steps have to come from your cousin...until then, rest and know you did your best.

 

and no matter what Unka Dom, just know we love ya:)

 

Rainbow Hugs and find time for Dom....and dare I say let Chapter 15 wait a bit...look at the time you waited on Chapter 14 and it was IMHO....PERFECT and Absolutely Fabulous!!!

 

Michael

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Don't feel guilty, Dom.

 

Thanks for at least trying to make a difference in the life of another person, especially a family member. Your efforts may not seem to pay off, at least not immediately, but at least you made the effort. And you never know how things may work out in the future.

 

I had an uncle who was a horrible alcoholic. My parents took him in. And thought it was a big mistake. Much later, by God's grace and the efforts of my folks, he took his last drink, and remained sober for the remaining 20+ years of his life. If my folks hadn't tried, even thinking they were wasting their time....you just never know how your efforts may pay off.

 

Good luck with TOU #15 - can't wait to read it!

 

0:)

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You're right, Dominic. Like you said, it was up to him. He made his mistakes and now he has to eat them. You did the right thing. You know... I've been meaning to ask if you've ever read one of your OWN stories? :P There's some great advice to be had in there.

 

I hope you feel better soon. Maybe writing will help.... 0:)

 

Hugs, Ann

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Well, as always, best wishes with that situation. There really is only so much you can do.

 

Also, maybe to lighten the mood somewhat ...

 

I thought it was funny that everyone's comments were along the lines of -- "there's nothing more you can do, don't be depressed, it's not your fault, don't feel guilty, take care of yourself, you just need to relax, you're a really good person!"

 

AKA -- we will do ANYTHING to get you to write faster!! We're going crazy for TOU chapter 15!!!

 

hahaha, now, of course I'm sure everyone means it -- it's probably true that you shouldn't feel bad about yourself or feel guilty. It just sort of seems like we are a bunch of evil villian sidekicks, trying to let you concentrate and make you feel better about everything about you. Like the parrot in Aladin .. what's his name ... let's see -- Jafar, Abu, Genie ... yeah, I forget.

 

Wow, I sort of sound very unsympathetic. That's NOT what I was going for, I swear.

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Well, as always, best wishes with that situation.  There really is only so much you can do. 

 

Also, maybe to lighten the mood somewhat ...

 

I thought it was funny that everyone's comments were along the lines of -- "there's nothing more you can do, don't be depressed, it's not your fault, don't feel guilty, take care of yourself, you just need to relax, you're a really good person!"

 

AKA -- we will do ANYTHING to get you to write faster!!  We're going crazy for TOU chapter 15!!!

 

hahaha, now, of course I'm sure everyone means it -- it's probably true that you shouldn't feel bad about yourself or feel guilty.  It just sort of seems like we are a bunch of evil villian sidekicks, trying to let you concentrate and make you feel better about everything about you.  Like the parrot in Aladin .. what's his name ... let's see -- Jafar, Abu, Genie ... yeah, I forget.

 

Wow, I sort of sound very unsympathetic.  That's NOT what I was going for, I swear.

Ya know what, you are right, Dom you are a horrible person for kicking you wonderful and loving cousin out of your house. Shame on you. :blink:

 

Now, continue writing :P

 

:king: Snow Dog the Domaholic Danderthal

 

P.S. I was just trying to be funny Mikie, I don't really think that about your Unka Dom (and I'm still sorry and trying to remove my foot from my mouth about the other thing too) :wacko: ;)

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