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Random Acts of Description


I've never been a writer who enjoyed using much description.  I never thought the color of the carpet, the shadows on the flocked wallpaper or the nuances of a woman's dress did much to drive a story.  At least, that's what I used to think.

Lately I've been reading more gothic short stories where the effect of the light on objects, the influence of color on mood, and the idea of space shapes impressions of the scene. As a result, I've been trying to use a bit more description in my writing.  It's quite powerful when done judiciously, and so I'm going to give you a couple of practice rounds telling us in two different ways.  Keep in mind, description can be quite objective, and even more interestingly, it can be very subjective.  Try using both ideas, with a simple explanation of what you see and how it makes you feel.

#185 - Go to a window.  Write about five things you see outside.  

#186 - Describe your favorite athlete.  Look at a picture or a video, and really tell the reader what you see, and how it makes you feel.

Remember, try first using simple facts, then turn them into an experience.

Have fun!!!

 

Please include the prompt number either in your story/chapter description or title to help readers who would like to search for specific prompts. Also, please remember that stories less than one thousand words must be posted as part of a collection

If you check the subgenre 'prompt' in your story tags, then people/readers can find everything here:

https://gayauthors.org/stories/browse/subgenre/prompt/

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  • Site Administrator
Valkyrie

Posted

I really like both of these challenges.  There can definitely be too much description in writing, shifting focus off the characters.  Conversely, there needs to be something there to give a sense of place/setting.  Finding that balance isn't always easy.  This is a great way to practice that skill!  

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Bill W

Posted

In my humble opinion, descriptions should only be used to enhance a story, not bog it down.  In most cases, I could care what brand of pants the guy is wearing or their color, of what brand of shoes he's wearing, unless I would need to know that information later.  Those things may be important in a dectective story, where those details may be necessary for the plot, otherwise it just add more words,  but no additional value. 

Some of my readers my question me about this, since I include many details in stories, mostly so the reader might learn something new while they're enjoying the story.  

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Bill W

Posted (edited)

I like the two challenges as well, if I can find the time to do something like that, since I'm busy working on my stories.  Generally, it takes me a long time to write a story, because I proofread it several times myself before sending it to my editor, and due to my eyesight, I'm a slow reader. 

Edited by Bill W
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Bill W

Posted

And don't take me wrong, I think it's important to describe the setting of the story so the reader can visualize where the story is taking place, especially when the action is taking place.  

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  • Site Administrator
Valkyrie

Posted

15 minutes ago, Bill W said:

In my humble opinion, descriptions should only be used to enhance a story, not bog it down.  In most cases, I could care what brand of pants the guy is wearing or their color, of what brand of shoes he's wearing, unless I would need to know that information later.  Those things may be important in a dectective story, where those details may be necessary for the plot, otherwise it just add more words,  but no additional value. 

Some of my readers my question me about this, since I include many details in stories, mostly so the reader might learn something new while they're enjoying the story.  

I agree with you about descriptions being used to enhance a story vs bogging it down.  I would say that the brand of clothing someone wears does give information about the character.  I think that's a classic example of a few words adding texture to the character.  For example, if someone wears Prada or Ralph Lauren, that gives a different impression than someone wearing a pair of worn Levis.  Same with brand of shoes.  Clothing color can also convey a sense of the character.  Do they wear drab clothing that fits a drab personality?  Or colorful, flamboyant clothing?  Does the clothing match the setting?  Are they on a date in a fancy restaurant, but one guy shows up in jeans?  Adding these details in a thoughtful, constructive manner adds flavor.  Adding them without purpose can bog down the story, so I think this would be a fun thing to play with.   

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Bill W

Posted

@Valkyrie I wasn't saying you can describe clothing, but only if it is necessary or enhances a story.  I don't want the story to read like a fashion show, though.  In most cases we know the characters are wearing clothes, and sometimes we might not have to comment about what they're wearing, but there are times when it's necessary to, like you say, add texture. 

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LJCC

Posted

Tommy Escofel Hamilton, the 32-year-old Harvard educated book editor was the brains behind the publishing arm of his mother's art empire, Maria Escofel's Lou Strasborg's Exhibitions--a 2 week event showcasing Europe's finest artists from Picasso to modern impressionism. When Tommy wasn't overseeing some of the most important books in the art world; he would be in Venice attending the Dior Ball, hanging out with Princess Stephanie of Norway discussing the principles of Tafterson and Peaks, or he would be attending Johansen Caspar and Ellie Mormont's wedding, heir to the Caspian french wineries and estates. But when he attended Gustav Gustavson's yacht party last summer, this dear readers would be his downfall, when he met the enigmatic, 28-year-old, Charles Woodrose, a waistaff slash waiter of Cambridge and Party Events.

What I'm saying is, descriptions could also be fictionalised people, jobs, events and scenario. It's like watching a movie:

"Tommy Escofel Hamilton, the 32-year-old Harvard educated book editor..."

-- you imagine him in his office doing book editor-ly related work. He looks young, maybe blonde or a brunette, very sophisticated with his name.

"...the brains behind the publishing arm of his mother's art empire, Maria Escofel's Lou Strasborg's Exhibitions--a 2 week event showcasing Europe's finest artists from Picasso to modern impressionism."

-- your mind then envisions his mother probably wearing a fur coat or something from the devil's prada. Then you imagine the event somewhere in Europe, probably fancy looking with a bunch of painters and important people.

Basically, whatever you create are sequential descriptions as the reader interprets whatever you write and describe in the story. If we are to contextualise this in its basic form, it would go like this:

32-year-old Tommy Escofel Hamilton graduated from Harvard. He was a book editor and managed his mother's art empire. He attended events in Europe, rubbed shoulders with the affluent families, and attended weddings of the wealthy and famous. Last summer, he met the 28-year-old Charles Woodrose. He was smitten. Charles was a waiter at a yacht party he'd attended. 

Doesn't really describe much doesn't it? And it leaves the reader to imagine a very wide net and broad array of things to conjure and imagine. 

You don't have to describe everything. But when you do, make sure you're creating a world you yourself would want to live in.

 

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Krista

Posted

Omg... a challenge for me to write about Joey (expletive) (expletive) (expletive) Votto?!!?! Sign me up. I can write about that smirk and contoured jawline for days. 

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