MDBCs 28 Jan 2025

Bake goodies and bring them for your colleagues.
Play harmless pranks on your colleagues and coworkers.
Watch Office Space or a few episodes of The Office at work.
With the consent of your supervisor, spend some time playing board games at work.

Did You Know…

…that studies have shown that a person's perception of time changes when they are having fun? According to these studies, having fun can help pass the time faster.

***

My teenage patient’s mother was concerned. “He must have a temperature,” she said. “He hasn’t taken our motorcycle out all day.”

“Let me ask you,” I said. “Do you have a thermometer?”

“No,” she said. “A Kawasaki.”

***

Professionals at the staffing agency Robert Half International have seen a lot of peculiar résumés. Here are some favorite gaffes, followed by wisecracks from the pros:

• Education: “I have a bachelorette degree in computers.” (The pajama party starts at 7 p.m.)

• Tools: “Human brain 1.0.” (We’ll wait for the upgrade.)

• References: “My landscaper.”  (A reference who will give you two green thumbs up.)

• Date of Employment: “2002–9999.” (She’s earned her gold watch!)

• Experience: “Worked successfully on a team of one.” (I assume you all got along?)

***

A friend was ordering her meal at a drive-through when she noticed she could get a side dish gratis. “And I’ll take the free wiffie also,” she said.

“What?” asked the clerk.

“The free wiffie,” she said, pointing to the sign.

“Ma’am, that’s ‘Free Wi-Fi.’ ”

***

The CEO of a large corporation was giving advice to a junior executive. “I was young, married, and out of work,” he lectured.

“I took the last nickel I had and bought an apple. I polished it and sold it for a dime. The next day I bought two apples, polished them, and sold them for ten cents each.”

“I see,” said the junior executive. “You kept reinvesting your money and grew a big business.”

“No,” said the CEO. “Then my wife’s father died and left me a fortune.”

***