My mother is in Cape Cod for the week, so my brother decided that since it's closer to his job from our house than his apartment he was just going to move back in for a few days while she's gone. He's been back 4 hours, and I've already attempted to murder him 3 times. I love my brother, but we are so fundamentally different that living together is a disaster.
He came in at sometime around 8 this morning. I am not a light sleeper. I am emphatically not a light sleeper. So you can imagine how thrilled I was when I woke up because he was being so inconsiderately loud. He was wearing shoes in the house, which isn't a big offense except that on the hardwood floors in the hall way it echoes really loudly. He let every self closing door in our house slam shut and he was physically slamming the ones that don't close on their own. He had the tv going at almost full blast, and I think at one point he was using the blender too. So I open my bedroom door and pop my head out and he asks me, "Oh what are you doing awake?" I was not happy so I just yelled "You are so much the loud!" at him. His answer to that was telling me to f**K off and slamming my head in the door. My answer to that was to open the door and push him down the stairs.
He stops making noise, so I try to settle in to get some more sleep. I'm just falling asleep when he just randomly walks into my room, sits on my bed, eating a box of cookies, and starts talking to me about this party he wants me to go to on Saturday. I'm like, leave I'm sleeping. He's like, I don't care, Shana's party this, Pat got lost driving home that. I ignore him and try to go to sleep. He throws pieces of cookie at my head. I tackle him to the ground and try to smother him with my pillow.
Our cat Lola is the loudest cat on the face of this green earth when she is not happy. When she can not sleep on my mom's bed, she is not happy. My brother, who claims to be allergic to cats, was sleeping in my mom's bed, so not only did he close and lock the door so she couldn't get in, but he felt the need to baricade it as well. Lola was not pleased with this, so she stood out in the hallway meowing like her little life was endangered by the fact that she didn't have a bed to sleep on. My brother calls me on my cell phone to tell me that the cat is bothering him and that I should do something about it. I tell him to let her in, all she does is sleep on the corner of the bed. He yells at me, tells me I'm stupid, and then reminds me of his concocted allergies. I kick in the door to my mom's room, yell at him, tell him he's stupid, point out that he has never had an allergic reaction to anything in his life, and proceed to rub my cat Lola on his face. He gets up and attempts to throw a telephone at my face. I kick him in the groin, and while he is on the ground, mention in expicit details all the allergists he's been to, who have told him repeatedly that he isn't allergic to anything. He likes cats, but doesn't want to be bothered with them, so he's allergic. He doesn't like the taste of nuts, so he's allergic. He's too lazy to cut the grass, so he's allergic. I'll bet now he's allergic to being kicked in the nuts, because that sure as hell got a reaction out of him.
He is selfish, inconsiderate, and a whiny little princess. He's four years older than me, half as mature, and a quarter as responsible. His first response to everything is physically attacking whatever is bothering him. I'm not a very violent person, but I can have a horrible temper, and one thing that sets it off more quickly than just about everything is his him blindly attacking anything for any reason. So everytime I am around him, I get violently angry. And usually end up trying to kill him.
2 Days, 19 Hours, 37 minutes left.