Big rant ahead!!So, I've been feeling kinda meh all day. I'm not sleeping well again and I have jaw ache for one thing, which could both be solved by taking valium, but then I'll be a crying mess again and I hate that, I hate being so emotionally controlled by something like that. Anyway, so that doesn't help, but I'm feeling totally underappreciated at the moment, and like I have 10 million plates in the air, and that only half of them are mine and half of them are plates I'm spinning for other people. Which is partly my own doing for being a control freak and wanting to make sure things are done properly, if that making any sense? I'll try and put it rationally. So my own stuff going on includes working every evening, sorting out things to take to a thing we're going to this weekend, trying to work out when we can get to see my folks, working out what'll happen when seb has surgery, keeping up with my correspondances (I find it hard work to keep in touch with people but it's worth it) as well as keeping mine and seb's room and bathroom tidy, doing laundry all that shit. On top of that I'm also in charge of getting the bills paid for the flat (we have several flatmates, two of whom are here now) and sorting out our internet conection which is just a big hassle because the phone company f**ked up. It also seems that I'm the only person out of four of us (of whom I'm the only one working right now) that can run the dishwasher, or take out trash! So not only am I running around trying to keep my own shit on track, with not half as much sleep as I need, and with twice and much pain as I'd like, I'm also seemingly everyone damn mother! I mean, come on, three of them are at home all day and not one of them can run a trashbag downstairs, it's not even like they'd have to take the stairs we have an elevator. And I know, if it's no big deal then surely I could do it too, but why should I? Is that totally selfish of me? Do I seem like I'm being unreasonable? Sorry for all the ranting, it's just easy here, I tried telling one of my other friends and just...they weren't really listening, which is fine, everyone has their own stuff going on, so since I can rant on here, I guess I've taken advantage of it.Anyway, I complained to my gf who I work with about it all and we went to the mall after work. It was nice, I bought a rucksack to take to the festival, and some awesome boots for it too. We ate junk food, which should reassure seb, who, not content with me feeling antsy enough as it is has also decided to start analysing what I eat to convince me that I'm not eating right Like I need that too. Now I'm paranoid about eating around him because I know I'll get 'Is that all you're going to eat?' comments. Sorry for the big rant, I'm trying not to be all woe is me, because things aren't that bad. I think going away this weekend will be a good thing.Take care all, and have fun!Benp.s. yes, I realise that everyone has stuff going on, but hey, this is my blog, lol.