Im glad none of you are seeing me in person. Im the most depressed person in the world today. Everything that has gone wrong that makes me depressed is all my fault and that gets me more depressed than i already am.
I cant stop thinking about Billy\'s birthday. And how silly am i to still be thinking of him after what hes done to me..ive got to be the biggest dumbass in the world.
I am the biggest dumbass in the world, ive f***ed up my whole life and im watching it falling apart on tv.
Im not graduating high school, im not going to college, im not gonna have a career, im not gonna have a husband, im not gonna be \"raking in the money\", im never gonna be a signer, im never gonna win the lottery, im not gonna get rich quick, and im never gonna have the three things in my life that makes me happy: a place to come home to, a husband to come home, to and true friends to come home to.
All i want is just...pass by in life. I dont want to be super rich and be on tv all the time. I just wanna be that kid that no one notices in class, the kid who just disappears after high school never to be heard from again, the kid who doesnt make it big, who never finds a bf, who never talks to his parents...im that kid. And thats how it is.
Im gonna skate by school and never graduate, make the stupidest decision in his life by moving to California, live in an apartment with his friends for the rest of my life. But ill never have anything that makes me happy except the apartment. My friends...i cant trust any of them (cept two but theyre not going to Cali with me).
Im gonna fade away into life just as my life has faded away from me................