Life happens, when you're not looking. Allot of people, i think, fail to realize that. There is an expectation that one day we will wake up and Life is going to start. We'll have the career, the love, vacations in Spain etc. The only trouble is, in this yearning, this waiting for something big to happen; we overlook life. The fragments in time that shape our existence.

Sometimes I have a nagging feeling that time is running away. I don't know what it is, or where it comes from, yet I still feel like I am staring down the barrel of a loaded gun.

Me and Time have issues. I guess i could trace it back to my wanting to join the world early. It seems that was the last time I ever accomplished anything early, ever since its been late. I am now officially fed up with late, and sadly it seems the time for that is gone.

I shouldn't have any right to bitch and moan. All in all, I have a okay life. I even have almost everything I could hope for, almost. It's just the pieces that are missing, their absence makes everything else seem hollow; unsubstantial. I am tired of the hollow.

Sometimes, I wish I could write my life. I'd know where to go with all the self doubt. I'd know who was lurking just at the end of the next chapter. In the end I'd know it had all been worth it.

Maybe this all steams from grappling with a stark reality. We are all told we are destined for greatness, when the only thing we are destined for is monotony. Day after day of the same routine, the same issues, and the same resolutions all blurring until one can no longer discern Monday from Friday, or the hours in between.

I don't know where I'm going with this. Well I do; it hasn't helped much, just wasted more time.

Steve