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Lost Thoughts

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How things have changed

Bob D.


I know, I know... My story seized up like a 450 engine running on water instead of oil... my life has been in a certain amount of turmoil that has since crippled my energy levels, and I have basically ghosted away from this wonderful and inspiring site since November.


I have tried to keep up with the tantilizing stories, homework, and personal/spiritual revitilization. Such is life no?


So, what's changed since November? Well, from January 2007 to February 2008 I noted 8 deaths that all had a compounding effect on me. That includes our dear author who passed this last year. Since then, two friends of mine lost immediate family members, as well as two close associates (staff at the college) lost their fathers in the last month. I wonder sometimes if the spectre of death isn't following me around, and being unable to take me or my family (too much work to do) is taking my friends' family instead. :cry:


Upside? I double graduated with my AGS and AA, I've since been accepted and (pending tuesday morning) registered for the University of Arizona in Tucson, Az.


I was cleared of medical issues, I just have a slightly higher cholesterol than I should. Considering how depressed I'd been... that's the least of my worries.


It's rather strange to reach a point in your life, after spending 27 years not regretting anything, to finally look back and think that there are things I would change. It's rather depressing really, but in a good way. I spent 27 years knowing that every decision I made was in the best interest out of the best choices possible at any given time. Only to glance back over the past 5 years and think, "What the HELL were you thinking?"


I've seen a huge change in between myself and my 'peers' in maturity, personality, and mindset. What I mean is, the gap between myself (more of the responsible adult I should have been and recognize) and the lack of such in them. It kind of scares me to see the generational difference between me and pretty much anyone younger than myself. That tells me that I stopped growing in the culture, and who I am now is pretty much who I would be until I turn 55 or so.


Did you know that? From the age of about 26 (+/- a year), your personality and behaviors will change very little until you hit about age 55? That's a psychological statistic that explains why 'our parents' are always out of the loop... and why my sister is out of the loop being only 3 years ahead of me.


But enough of the strange annoyances and quirks of life. Enough pandering on the nestaglicless pasts. Now, I just say hello again.


Bob D. B)


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