[Jack Scribe] DESERT FANTASIES

[Conner]

From a slightly different perspective, it was a good thing that Bud arrived when he did. Had he arrived another 20 or 30 minutes later, who knows what he would have witnessed!

 

Michael's suggestion to his father that they all double date....

 

Ok, so here's where I think the story is going. As CJ predicts, Cray's biological dad shows up and tries to rebuild a relationship with his long abandoned son. As chance would have it, Cray's dad is gay, too. That's why he left so many years ago. Cray's dad and Bud fall in love. Cray's dad eventually asks his son to live with Bud and him...and Michael, too, of course. Drew and Bob, while they see the good sense in this proposal, are inconsolable. They resist giving Cray uo. Mario shows up and sets them straight on doing what's best for Cray. Mario reminds them that they still are certified foster parents. Mario and Nick arrage financing for Drew and Bob to purchase a new home so they can foster more young men like Cray. Bob resigns his job and becomes a full time stay-at-home dad. Drew and Bob are blissful. Cray and Michael fall deeply in love and commit to one another. Final chapter: the young mafioso Jr. is kicked out of military school having been found performing felatio on another student. As a favour to the organization, Mario takes the young mafioso under his wing and trains him to be an escort....either that or Mario makes him his full time bitch.

 

Who needs authors when you have an imagination.

 

Great chapter, Jack!

 

Conner

[Jack Scribe]

From a slightly different perspective, it was a good thing that Bud arrived when he did. Had he arrived another 20 or 30 minutes later, who knows what he would have witnessed!

 

Michael's suggestion to his father that they all double date....

 

Ok, so here's where I think the story is going. As CJ predicts, Cray's biological dad shows up and tries to rebuild a relationship with his long abandoned son. As chance would have it, Cray's dad is gay, too. That's why he left so many years ago. Cray's dad and Bud fall in love. Cray's dad eventually asks his son to live with Bud and him...and Michael, too, of course. Drew and Bob, while they see the good sense in this proposal, are inconsolable. They resist giving Cray uo. Mario shows up and sets them straight on doing what's best for Cray. Mario reminds them that they still are certified foster parents. Mario and Nick arrage financing for Drew and Bob to purchase a new home so they can foster more young men like Cray. Bob resigns his job and becomes a full time stay-at-home dad. Drew and Bob are blissful. Cray and Michael fall deeply in love and commit to one another. Final chapter: the young mafioso Jr. is kicked out of military school having been found performing felatio on another student. As a favour to the organization, Mario takes the young mafioso under his wing and trains him to be an escort....either that or Mario makes him his full time bitch.

 

Who needs authors when you have an imagination.

 

Great chapter, Jack!

 

Conner

 

Goodness, that cracks me up. WHAT IMAGINATION! Perhaps the biological dad will show up in Volume III...but not now. Who knows what might happen? Is Cray's dad hetero? But back to this current story. We've got to get Cray into Drew and Bob's foster care first.

 

Jack

[TalonRider]

Goodness, that cracks me up. WHAT IMAGINATION! Perhaps the biological dad will show up in Volume III...but not now. Who knows what might happen? Is Cray's dad hetero? But back to this current story. We've got to get Cray into Drew and Bob's foster care first.

 

Jack

Even if Cray's dad does show up soon or later and fights to get his son back, will the court do it. After all, he basically deserted him all those years ago.

 

 

Jan

[MikeL]

Chapter16, Here Come Da Judge has been released.

 

Happy New Year to all!

[Ginge_4]

Chapter16, Here Come Da Judge has been released.

 

Happy New Year to all!

 

 

Have I missed something, but I didn't get chapter 16?

[Benji]

Have I missed something, but I didn't get chapter 16?

 

 

..........It comes up for me! Try going in hosted authors and click on Jack Scribe

[Ginge_4]

..........It comes up for me! Try going in hosted authors and click on Jack Scribe

 

 

I will rephrase

 

I don't undstand why it was repeated, so have i missed something

[Benji]

I will rephrase

 

I don't undstand why it was repeated, so have i missed something

 

 

............Oh that!! Yeah I noticed that it was double-posted too! Just a quirk I'm sure

[Benji]

............Oh that!! Yeah I noticed that it was double-posted too! Just a quirk I'm sure

 

 

..........Thanks Jack, great chapter!! I'm not surprised about the Governor's phone call to the Judge, no not at all surprised. But I can't believe Cray's lunch-time announcement talk about balls...especially to those ex-goons.

[TalonRider]

..........Thanks Jack, great chapter!! I'm not surprised about the Governor's phone call to the Judge, no not at all surprised. But I can't believe Cray's lunch-time announcement talk about balls...especially to those ex-goons.

I've got to agree with you, Benji. That took a major set to do that. I also think that Micheal will sit back to see what happens now that Cray has come out to some of their friends before he decides to come out as well.

 

That was a bit strange to see the same chapter twice.

 

Jan

[Tiger]

I've got to agree with you, Benji. That took a major set to do that. I also think that Micheal will sit back to see what happens now that Cray has come out to some of their friends before he decides to come out as well.

 

That was a bit strange to see the same chapter twice.

 

Jan

Yeah, I felt the same deja vu when i read it. I had read the first 13 chapters a while back. I'm glad I stumbled upon 14-16, because I was into the story. Hmmmm... that reminds me of another story that needs finishing or at least a chapter or two. I won't mention the name of the author, but the initials are DL and the story I'm thinking of is also a sequel.

[Conner]

Some great chuckles in that chapter, Jack.

 

"....that's just part of the package." Loved it.

 

Super chapter, Jack.

 

Conner

[Jack Scribe]

Yeah, I felt the same deja vu when i read it. I had read the first 13 chapters a while back. I'm glad I stumbled upon 14-16, because I was into the story.

Hi TLWT,

 

I'm always delighted to have more readers responding on this forum. I am puzzled, however, because I can't figure out to what double-posting you're referring? I like to fix whatever is troubling but I don't understand to comment.

[Benji]

Hi TLWT,

 

I'm always delighted to have more readers responding on this forum. I am puzzled, however, because I can't figure out to what double-posting you're referring? I like to fix whatever is troubling but I don't understand to comment.

 

 

.........It's just a quirk Jack, the chapter repeats after it ends

[Tiger]

Hi TLWT,

 

I'm always delighted to have more readers responding on this forum. I am puzzled, however, because I can't figure out to what double-posting you're referring? I like to fix whatever is troubling but I don't understand to comment.

Jack,

 

Some of the end of the chapter was written twice, or more likely copy/pasted. At first, I thought I had made a mistake with my mouse as I do from time to time, but then I noticed others commenting on the problem. Usually an editor would catch something like that. I'm sure it was an honest mistake. BTW, I am enjoying this story, and I look forward to reading the next chapter. I also like the nick name. I've never been an acronym before.

Edited January 4, 2008 by tlwritingtiger

[C James]

I loved the phone call from the governor, and the fast about-face by the judge. Especially his "as I was saying" ROFL!!!!!!!!!

 

Cray does have guts, glad to see there was no bad reaction.

[Jack Scribe]

I loved the phone call from the governor, and the fast about-face by the judge. Especially his "as I was saying" ROFL!!!!!!!!!

 

Cray does have guts, glad to see there was no bad reaction.

 

Nothing like a little rear-end political kissing. Reminds me of a few of the presidential hopefuls. :wacko:

 

Cray is a tough cookie on the inside and decided to stand up to the judge as he saw what was happening. He had some great parenting from his real father in the early, formative years - enough of a solid foundation to absorb the rotten experiences and not be "damaged goods" before he bolted from home.

 

He also read the situation with his friends and felt that he would gain support from some of the guys if he cleared the air and came out. However, he was respectful of Michael's decision not to do the same...right now.

 

Thanks, TLWT , for pointing out the posting boo-boo. Trusty Joe has fixed it and I urge those who may not have gone all the way to the bottom of the chapter, do so. Fun little postscript.

 

Jack

[TalonRider]

You bet your sweet bippy.

[Tiger]

Thanks, TLWT , for pointing out the posting boo-boo. Trusty Joe has fixed it and I urge those who may not have gone all the way to the bottom of the chapter, do so. Fun little postscript.

 

Jack

We all make mistakes. It's human nature. Overall, I like this story as well as its predecessor. TG for editing. I finally found a good editor for my stories. It's amazing how many mistakes I make. I'm sure you make less mistakes than I do. You have a lot more experience.

 

TLWT

[Jack Scribe]

You bet your sweet bippy.

And the famous line uttered by Richard Nixon, "Sock it to...ME ?"

[TalonRider]

We all make mistakes. It's human nature. Overall, I like this story as well as its predecessor. TG for editing. I finally found a good editor for my stories. It's amazing how many mistakes I make. I'm sure you make less mistakes than I do. You have a lot more experience.

 

TLWT

You'll find over time, that working with an editor, you will start making fewer mistakes as you become aware of them. I've not had anything come across the screen that didn't have some type of correction needed. An author can become so used to seeing their own writing that they may not see them when the read thru the story. A fresh pair of eyes can see them easier. Thats where editors come in. Beta Readers come in handy also.

[Ginge_4]

Thank god for that, for long time there i thought my senior moments we becoming more prevalent. yes i did re-read the whole chapter again. Although I think Cray over confidence at telling his friends that he is gay will help his relationship with Michael at least in the short term.

 

This is such a good story I'm sort of peeved that i now have to wait a week for the next chapter

[Jack Scribe]

You'll find over time, that working with an editor, you will start making fewer mistakes as you become aware of them. I've not had anything come across the screen that didn't have some type of correction needed. An author can become so used to seeing their own writing that they may not see them when the read thru the story. A fresh pair of eyes can see them easier. Thats where editors come in. Beta Readers come in handy also.

Jan's comments are 'spot on'. I have a team to help eliminate the typos, improve phraseology, grammar, etc. By the time a chapter is posted, it has been read, proofed and edited by four talented individuals - each has his own specific talents. I review the suggestions and modify the text where appropriate at each milestone.

[Tiger]

Jan's comments are 'spot on'. I have a team to help eliminate the typos, improve phraseology, grammar, etc. By the time a chapter is posted, it has been read, proofed and edited by four talented individuals - each has his own specific talents. I review the suggestions and modify the text where appropriate at each milestone.

I could use some work on phraseology. Any suggestions?

[Graeme]

Some editors are good at that, so you just need the right type of editor. Some editors will only fix spelling and major grammatical problems. Others (like my editors) will fix sentence constructs, too -- simplifying and improving them. Some authors like that (like me) and others hate it. It's a personal thing and it's just a case of getting a compatible editor.

 

As a side point, I'm yet to have a page of any of my stories without any corrections....