Please delete me I don't deserve to live.

[Patrickgay17]

Just so every body knows I just posted the first chapter to my first story in the library. The story is called into his own and I advise you to read it and tell me what you think. It's kind of long I think so make sure you have the time to give it justice. Just a warning to all of the weaker stomachs out there the first chapter is very violent and graphic, the rest of the book isn't like that but this first chapter is. Please read it and tell me what you think good or bad. Here is my email for all of the imput I know you will be kind enough to send. Patrickgay17@walla.com. Any critisisam is welcome unless of course Mr. Red is out there. Enjoy and remember the first chapter is the only one that is like this so push through it. Have fun.

[Patrickgay17]

I have over 50 hits on chapter one and no replies. That hurts. *tear*

[Aleric]

I have over 50 hits on chapter one and no replies.  That hurts.  *tear* 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Hi Patrick!

 

don't take it personally man .

I didn't read your story yet, because I am in the middle of another series

(the HP series of Myr). Once I finished that, I'll look for another series

to read - preferably one that is long or finished.

 

Normally it could take a year or two years before I started to read your

story - simply because I read all stories of one author before going to

the next author and have a preference for long stories.

 

However, if you ask me *personally* to read you story, then I will as soon

as I finished the HP series ok? But then you have to promise me to read

my first chapter too when I publish it heheh.

 

Aleric

 

PS No matter what, I WILL read it some day!

[Patrickgay17]

I don't think that I can ask somebody to read my story that is like forcing something on you and I won't do that. But I would like it if you read it.

 

I won't lie to you I thought it was ready to be published and I was wrong it still needed a lot of work and I shouldn't have put it up yet but feel free to read it if you like. I don't think that you would regret it just make sure that you read the story code so that you know what you're getting yourself into.

[Sparhawk]

Patrick, I have been on the road most of this week and have not had time to do much reading. I will check out your story tomorrow and let you know what I think.

 

I have put up a couple of stories in my time and while I am not a great writer, I am fair. If you are expecting hundreds of responses, you will be greatly dissapointed. The first story I ever put up I only had two replies about it. A year later I had several folks asking me if I was ever going to finish it. So hang in there guy and keep working on it. Don't give up too easy.

 

Hugs

 

Mike

[Crackerwriter]

My fault! I should never have sent it back to Patrick without making sure that it was in a publishable state! Patrick, being Patrick is keen for us to see what he can do; which, all things considered, is not an unreasonable thing. However, I should have been a lot more severe with my first edit and advised him of a few of the points Jamie raised.

But hey, all things considered, it's not that bad a start. Let's not beat the guy TOO hard for trying at least. There are those that never make it that far. And yes, best that some critisism come from some of the fellow authors first.

 

I'm not really an editor, as i can sometimes tell from my own published stuff, but I am trying to help. So if there's someone else who'd care to take on the job of second-edit, I'll happily plough through the raw stuff as it were, and get it in some form of readable state first! (Throws down glove as a challenge.)

 

* * * * * * * * * *

 

And anyway, shouldn't we have been posting comment in the Cafe, not the Library? (Smax wrists of all those who lead me into that trap.)

[Sparhawk]

Actually Mike, I think that it is fine in the General Disscussion. New writers need to be aware that response's are not real fast in coming.

 

After I check out the story tomorrow I will respond on the rest.

 

 

Hugs

 

Mike

[Umbathri]

I was just coming here to say that Crackerwriter, I cant reply in the library =)

 

Couple things besides the emails ive already sent. Im certianly not one to talk when it comes to syntax or grammer, Im no editor. But as Jamie already alluded to

"Point 3. Try to give everyone who plays a major part in the tale a name. You had two

Edited February 20, 2005 by Umbathri

[Bill W]

Patrick, when I first started writing I was told that only 10% of the readers reply to your work (yes, 1 in 10 - just like the number of gays in the population), but I believe the percentage is actually much lower. I'm afraid this is a very 'me' oriented society and people are only concerned about others doing things that they'll enjoy and not so worried about thanking or commenting to those who do so. Don't get discourage, because that can easily happen if you dwell on it, and just concentrate on what you're doing and tp those who do reply.

 

I must admit I haven't had time to read your story yet, but if I can get to it, I will definitely give you a response.

[Patrickgay17]

Ok so I did jump the gun and put the story up there to fast (my bad) and I did think that I would get hits on the first day also my bad. I was just excited about getting it up there even if it was premature. Sorry guys I will go back and fix the topics you had in mind to the best of my liking.

[miguelsanchez55]

Patrick,

Don't worry about it. We've all been there. We're all here for you and will help any way we can. Can't wait to read the modified version.

 

Mike Sanchez :sword:

[dkstories]

Patrick, here's some thoughts for you on feedback.

 

 

My story Dawn of Tears has 3,117 unique views from the story archive. I have received about sixty-eight unique responses (in other words one or more emails from the same individual).

 

Do Over has 1,230 unique views and I've received about eight-five unique e-mails on that story. (Funny how the story with less views generated MORE feedback from readers as far as unique e-mails from individuals).

 

Patrick, I've been writing stories online since 2001, and I've been writing stories off-line for over two decades. When I first started out, I got maybe one or two e-mails on the first few chapters of Mists of Fate. It took about ten chapters, and switching the primary story over to Dabeagle's site for reader response to really take off. When it did, though, it really did take off.

 

The point? Don't be discouraged by low reader initial response to your first few chapters. Keep plugging away. Listen to good constructive criticism offered, thank people for their praise, no matter how little you feel it is deserved, and either ignore or flame back any flamers (I prefer the flame back. I'm a writer who has been praised on how some of his characters put others down...so you can imagine how well I think about the put-downs and flames I send back to those who just want to flame me or my work). I actually enjoy constructive criticism, and when something really hits home, I've been known to go back and change things or put something new in to the story because of that criticism.

 

Just ask my editor how much of a pain in the rear I can be about stuff like that, and how much I depend on him for damn good input to my story.

[ethan thorn]

Ok whats with the new topic line just because you jumped the gun its ok there are people here to help. But this delete me i don't deserve to live it dont work come man buck up you should have ssen the mess my first chpater was in just ask jamie dont let a little thing like this get you down i went one after the first and i have about 3 die hard fans may more since no one cares to e-mail me ( if any of you reading this one then e-mail me ) but just keep at it and you will get better at it hang in there and if you feel you need to ask for help i am sure there are people here that will help.

[reapersharvest]

I am just as new to this as you. Before I joined GA I posted Chapters 1 and 2 of Underworld and Chapter 1 of Living the High Life on Nifty. Of all of those, after about a month, I recieved one positive feedback email (grand total of about seven words I think) to Living the High Life. Leaving out that the story was posted in the Bisexual Section by mistake (apparently the sexless first chapter was too "ambiguous" ), I loved that comment and just those few words of encouragement fueled me to no end. I guess that hang in there is the point to this trilling tale. That and that I understand your craving for feedback (I'm still waiting for some on Underworld).

 

 

PS. I read most of your story (I skipped some parts, I have a weak stomach) and I loved it.

[Patrickgay17]

You miss understood the title of the topic. This wasn't a depressed thing or me giving up on writing. I was just going to get rid of the first chapter untill the revised version was ready to put up which should be in the next few days. I was saying delet the topic not the story. I just wanted to wait for the better version. I'm not giving up and I wasn't upset about feedback this is actually the fist chapter.

 

But thank you all for yur feedback it is greatly appreshiated.