It Started With Brian

[Former Member]

Another step forward in this amazing journey. Thank you so much Adam for finishing up Sam's story.

[Adam Phillips]

I've posted the next chapter of Sam's story:

 

It Started With Brian, Chapter 25

 

I think this is a chapter that readers will appreciate.

 

--Adam

[Former Member]

Adam, you're such a tease! What a horribly unfair place to leave off

 

I really loved this chapter. What a wonderful description of an utterly peaceful and beautiful moment.

 

Thank you again Adam for finishing Sam's story.

[Zeoanne]

Indeed, much appreciated. Thanks for taking over his story and doing such a fantastic job. Also, thanks for sharing with us. I really wish I could've met the man.

[Adam Phillips]

Chapter 26 has been posted:

 

It Started With Brian, Chapter 26

 

This chapter should provide some answers to questions that many of you have been asking for quite some time.

 

--Adam Phillips

[Benji]

Chapter 26 has been posted:

 

It Started With Brian, Chapter 26

 

This chapter should provide some answers to questions that many of you have been asking for quite some time.

 

--Adam Phillips

.........Wow, what a revealing chapter!!

I was bit right in thinking Tom's death caused Brian to go into the deep end, but had no idea the depth of that guilt that engulfed him. Brian is probably one of the most complex characters I have ever read about, he still managed to surprise me.

Now, there was one line in there that had me LMAO;

 

I had to smile at the irony; There I was, back then in high school, aching to have Brian sexually, occasionally looking at other guys that way, and all the time these straight jocks are getting more gay sex than I could even imagine ever having! It was one of those "no justice in the world" moments.

 

Haha!! Great chapter!

Edited May 12, 2009 by Benji

[hh5]

Chapter 26 has been posted:

 

It Started With Brian, Chapter 26

 

This chapter should provide some answers to questions that many of you have been asking for quite some time.

 

--Adam Phillips

Its also leaves really no closure - but - lots of what happens from here - no epilog?

Yes its full circle for the title

 

But not for the situation in the myst of its unfolding

So us reader will just ponder the rest of Sams life

[Zeoanne]

Its also leaves really no closure - but - lots of what happens from here - no epilog?

Yes its full circle for the title

 

But not for the situation in the myst of its unfolding

So us reader will just ponder the rest of Sams life

 

He still has a couple of chapters to post.

[Adam Phillips]

Its also leaves really no closure - but - lots of what happens from here - no epilog?

Yes its full circle for the title

 

But not for the situation in the myst of its unfolding

So us reader will just ponder the rest of Sams life

I'm very curious--what is there in this chapter that makes you think this story is over? It really mystifies me.

 

As a matter of fact, there are three more chapters left, and I can assure you, they're not just padding. Sam's...uhhh...challenges are by no means conquered here in Chapter 26. There's some rocky road left to walk!

 

Adam

[Cynical Romantic]

Nice to finally get Brian's side after all this time. I'd suspected a lot of it - especially the parts about Tom - but most of me was just relieved that this long-overdue talk finally occurred, that Brian worked up the courage to be honest with Sam before it was too late.

 

One minor editing note: There are a couple of places where the names are a bit confusing. I think you might have let some real names slip in in the place of their character alter-ego names a couple of times? Since I'm not sure which characters are on board with this story and which aren't, I figured you might want to take a peek at those.

[DanK]

Nice to finally get Brian's side after all this time. I'd suspected a lot of it - especially the parts about Tom - but most of me was just relieved that this long-overdue talk finally occurred, that Brian worked up the courage to be honest with Sam before it was too late.

 

One minor editing note: There are a couple of places where the names are a bit confusing. I think you might have let some real names slip in in the place of their character alter-ego names a couple of times? Since I'm not sure which characters are on board with this story and which aren't, I figured you might want to take a peek at those.

Msg. me, please. I found one and fixed it. Are there others?

[Adam Phillips]

Msg. me, please. I found one and fixed it. Are there others?

Oops. Sorry. I have to log in under Dan's account to add chapters, and I was doing a little minor editing and didn't log in under my own name before I came to the forum. Please email me and let me know if you still see name glitches.

 

Adam

[Cynical Romantic]

@Adam: That was the only one I noticed, too. If I find any others, I'll let you know.

[hh5]

I'm very curious--what is there in this chapter that makes you think this story is over? It really mystifies me.

 

As a matter of fact, there are three more chapters left, and I can assure you, they're not just padding. Sam's...uhhh...challenges are by no means conquered here in Chapter 26. There's some rocky road left to walk!

 

Adam

My error ... mix up on the latest with last ...

 

Still its a kick in the head that Brian is gay ... but I seem to surmise that since he never got married ... but I guess sam life has been difficult but its strange that when Brian found out Sam is gay due to the outing that Brian didn't tell sam he's gay. It would have made

Sam feel less alone - they could have made something a couple or just very good friends with something very in common.

 

Its gonna be interesting when Jonah gets home.

[hh5]

He still has a couple of chapters to post.

Thanks

[Cynical Romantic]

Meh, I don't read or interpret that as Brian being gay. I figure he's at least bisexual to some degree, but it sounds like he's just a case of a guy who was open-minded enough to at least consider the possibility that the person he happened to fall in love with could be of either gender.

 

And labels are crap, by the way.

[Adam Phillips]

Meh, I don't read or interpret that as Brian being gay. I figure he's at least bisexual to some degree, but it sounds like he's just a case of a guy who was open-minded enough to at least consider the possibility that the person he happened to fall in love with could be of either gender.

And labels are crap, by the way.

Don't even get me started. I agree with you 100%. 1000% if it were possible.

 

And no. Brian's not gay. That's the whole point. That's what threw him.

 

Adam

[Benji]

Don't even get me started. I agree with you 100%. 1000% if it were possible.

 

And no. Brian's not gay. That's the whole point. That's what threw him.

 

Adam

............Humm, it started with Brian, should end with him, maybe he is not gay, but he is f**ked up enough with his feelings that he can be 'labeled' as what bi-curious, bi, or gay. It matters not in this story, the love portrayed extends beyond friendship. And has left lives ruined or damaged because of it, Brian answered the questions in the last chapter, his deep love..............

[Cynical Romantic]

Don't even get me started. I agree with you 100%. 1000% if it were possible.

 

And no. Brian's not gay. That's the whole point. That's what threw him.

 

Adam

Well I know I'm preaching to the choir where you're concerned, Adam; I've read Crosscurrents.

 

But it seems like labels are popular 'round these parts. And hell, who am I to say anyway? I guess they're just... useful shorthand, for how people define themselves. Or something. Whatever, I figure life's messed up enough without trying to fit everyone into narrow little boxes or freaking out when they don't all the time. Just my $0.02.

 

Though I wish someone would explain this to kids before they have a chance to get all messed up about stuff. Would save a lot of people a lot of grief and heartache if they could just accept the feelings they develop without spending half a lifetime trying to reconcile to themselves what it means, no?

 

Anyway, I guess my point was, I know that Sam and Brian are real people and that this is how their lives really happened. And I am so sad for them because obviously they spent so much time distant from one another because, ultimately, they couldn't get past these labels. Sam spent so long convinced that Brian was straight, that he never gave him the benefit of the doubt to see what was really going on, is how I read that last chapter. Just goes to show that preconceived notions can be double-edged swords.

Edited May 14, 2009 by Cynical Romantic

[Adam Phillips]

Anyway, I guess my point was, I know that Sam and Brian are real people and that this is how their lives really happened. And I am so sad for them because obviously they spent so much time distant from one another because, ultimately, they couldn't get past these labels. Sam spent so long convinced that Brian was straight, that he never gave him the benefit of the doubt to see what was really going on, is how I read that last chapter. Just goes to show that preconceived notions can be double-edged swords.

Gods, how authors appreciate perceptive readers!! Even though I don't really consider It Started With Brian as "my" work, it seems to me this is precisely one of the points. "Labels" messed Sam and Brian up tremendously. They messed Brian up because he knew he was attracted to women sexually, and not really to men; but he also knew he was in love with Sam, and because he was, there was a sexual component. But because "straight" guys are not supposed to fall in love with men, he held back. Meanwhile, for Sammy, Brian was "straight." So he just knew there was never a chance that Brian could love him like he so badly wanted to be loved by Brian.

 

Result? Wasted years. Years.

 

Now remind me--why are those labels so important again? :wacko:

[Cynical Romantic]

I guess it's just so much sadder since Sam's passing. I mean, we always talk about how you have to "make the most of your life" and "live every day to its fullest", and all that. But for most of us, it's an abstract notion, and one we don't take nearly seriously enough. For a few people, it just hits home in the worst possible way. Somehow the idea of wasted years just takes on a whole new dimension when you consider how many of those years Sam and Brian rightfully should have had, and how viscerally unfair it all was that so many of them were stolen.

[johnwut]

Still its a kick in the head that Brian is gay ... but I seem to surmise that since he never got married ... but I guess sam life has been difficult but its strange that when Brian found out Sam is gay due to the outing that Brian didn't tell sam he's gay. It would have made

Sam feel less alone - they could have made something a couple or just very good friends with something very in common.

 

Guess it's time for me to come out of hiding. I am the real Brian. And yes. Everybody involved knew Sam was writing this and was ok with it. And everybody knows Adam took over for him and is ok with it. And very grateful to Adam for doing it. Anybody wondering why I didn't take over for Sam would just have to watch me type for a few minutes to figure out why that wasn't gonna happen.

 

I'm not repeating anything Adam didn't already say but I want to make it clear. I'm not gay. I'm not even bi. I'm not a closet case or confused or anything else. Guys in general do not turn me on. Women do. But I loved Sam. With everything I am. It took me a while to figure out what I was feeling back in high school. Figure out what I could offer him that way. The big hold up for me telling him back then was the fact that he loved my sister too. And she loved him. And you don't screw with family like that. I'm not sure bi even describes what Sam was. Love didn't have much to do with what body somebody was in for him and even if it wasn't what he focused on in iswb he really did love my sister. By the time that wasn't an issue anymore all kinds of other crap was. Even if I had understood everything I was feeling when we were 15 I still wouldn't a made a move on him then.

 

-J

[Adam Phillips]

Guess it's time for me to come out of hiding. I am the real Brian.

-J

Wow. Uhh...did hell just freeze over? ;-)

 

Good to see you post here--nothing like getting the straight dope from the guy in question--and I just want to say to everybody that this chapter wouldn't have happened without some huge help from John. Sam's notes on this part were sketchy, and I had to ask John a series of incredibly intrusive, personal questions for me even to understand how it all went down. He was gracious and generous in sharing what his incredibly deep (and surely painful) feelings had been at this juncture in the story. I was just blown away.

 

John's been tremendously supportive of my work on Sam's story since I first began helping Sam with it. It didn't take me much time at all to see at least a little of what Sam saw in him--obviously I don't know him like Sam did so I can't claim to see everything Sam did--and I have to say he's one of my favorite e-friends.

 

--Adam

[sat8997]

Welcome John, and thanks for posting. I hope you'll browse the rest of the forums and decide to stay awhile. Your unique point of view may provide a benefit to our younger members.

[johnwut]

Wow. Uhh...did hell just freeze over? ;-)

 

Good to see you post here--nothing like getting the straight dope from the guy in question--and I just want to say to everybody that this chapter wouldn't have happened without some huge help from John. Sam's notes on this part were sketchy, and I had to ask John a series of incredibly intrusive, personal questions for me even to understand how it all went down. He was gracious and generous in sharing what his incredibly deep (and surely painful) feelings had been at this juncture in the story. I was just blown away.

 

John's been tremendously supportive of my work on Sam's story since I first began helping Sam with it. It didn't take me much time at all to see at least a little of what Sam saw in him--obviously I don't know him like Sam did so I can't claim to see everything Sam did--and I have to say he's one of my favorite e-friends.

 

--Adam

Yep. Hell just froze over. Wanna come on down for a snowball fight? This is what happens when i got too much time on my hands.