It Started With Brian

[Cynical Romantic]

Welcome, John. So sorry for your loss - from the little I "know" of Sam from the story, it sounds like he was truly a great guy.

 

And thank you for your part in sharing your story with so many of us here. It takes a lot of courage to do that, so just know it's much appreciated.

[Adam Phillips]

Some of you have been asking, so I thought I ought to put something here about the delay on It Started With Brian.

 

I'm writing the rest of the story from Sam's notes. The closer to the present the notes get, the more sketchy they are, and the more detail I need to fill in. That usually requires that I harangue John and get some of the missing detail from him. He's always been more than generous in sharing his time with me to work on this, and he's been willing to share details that are quite personal and at times surely painful. For these reasons and so many more, I want to do right by this story, as right as I can.

 

I had a version of the next chapter finished a couple of weeks ago. In writing it, I followed a plan that Sam had mentioned in passing to me. There were a series of conversations between him and John in the wake of the events described in Chapter 26, but I think Sam was wary of beating the reader down with all these repetitive conversations, so his original plan was to represent all the conversations as one--one extended conversation following "Brian's" kiss.

 

I wrote the chapter like that. I had to do a lot of filling in and a lot of imaginative reconstruction, but I came up with a chapter that seemed okay to me.

 

I always submit the chapter to John for him to look at it before I post it. John has always pretty much given each chapter the go-ahead, but I always want to give him the right to request a revision.

 

This time, he did. He felt that if the series of conversations got represented as just one long conversation, an aspect of Sam's emotional dynamic during the remainder of the story wouldn't come out as clearly as it needed to. He made a very good case for representing the conversations as multiple conversations.

 

It's the only time he's ever asked for a rewrite--how could I not do what he asked? This is his story, his and Sam's, and I take it as a sacred charge, and as a promise I made to Sam, to get it as right as I could get it.

 

The problem, though, was that, as I said, Sam's notes were pretty sketchy at this point, so I knew I'd need John to fill me in on a lot of things. I wasn't even clear on the chronology of their talks myself. And worse, I wasn't even sure what questions I should ask John. I was afraid it was going to take about five pretty lengthy IM sessions.

 

As it turned out, it only took two. Those took place a couple of weeks ago, and I've been slowly rewriting the chapter. Slowly, because the narrative flow becomes a little more complex with the revisions. But I think, like John, that it'll be for the better.

 

Something else has developed. I thought that I'd need to write a Chapter 27 and a Chapter 28, and that would cover the remaining ground and segue into the final chapter, which Sam wrote months before his death. As I began working on it, though, I began to realize that I'll probably need to split the material originally planned for Chapter 27 into two chapters, and the material originally planned for Chapter 28 into two chapters. That means Sam's chapter, the final chapter of the story, will in all likelihood be Chapter 31.

 

I don't want any of you to worry that that means it'll be that much longer before the story is finished. I'll probably bang out two chapters at a time from here to the end. It's just that I'm thinking there's too much material to represent it all in two chapters. I'll know more by the time I've finished writing this latest one. I hope to be finished with it by the end of the week.

 

Thanks for your patience and for your ongoing support of Sam's story. And thanks to you readers of ISWB who have also written me about Crosscurrents. If you've followed both stories, you've seen the weird way in which two online lives intersect and have impact on each other. It's been one of the strangest experiences of my life, but also very gratifying, and I'm so thankful I got to know Sam, and that I've made a solid e-friend in John.

[michael13boy]

I don't understand. I liked it better when it was fiction. Now, what's the point? Whatever the ending was, we already know it. Everything this guy, Sam, went through, it ends with him dying of colon cancer. I don't understand. How long did they have to be friends again? All the struggling this guy went through. I'm sorry, I am not saying this as a negative toward Sam, it just makes me feel like there really is no point, you know, to anything. Whether you're a good person or a bad person. This poor guy...I liked it better when it was fiction.

[Adam Phillips]

I don't understand. I liked it better when it was fiction. Now, what's the point? Whatever the ending was, we already know it. Everything this guy, Sam, went through, it ends with him dying of colon cancer. I don't understand. How long did they have to be friends again? All the struggling this guy went through. I'm sorry, I am not saying this as a negative toward Sam, it just makes me feel like there really is no point, you know, to anything. Whether you're a good person or a bad person. This poor guy...I liked it better when it was fiction.

 

I'm sorry you feel that way. Many readers don't; they get the point. If you don't, there's nothing anyone can say that will help you get it. So let me suggest that you stop reading and stay with things that will make you happy. That's the great thing about America--freedom.

[Nephylim]

Okay, this thread made me cry and I haven't even read the story yet... but I will, you can be sure I will.

 

Taste is one thing, tact quite another that comes with age and experience and... the meantime we have to grit out teeth and get on with the important things.., like how truly touching this story has been.

 

Sam must be so proud... what a legacy... and that's just the one of true friendship.

 

It doesn't even matter if the story is good or bad, whether from a pure literary point of view Adam did a good job or a bad job... he honoured his friend and that's all that matters. I will read the story with that in mind and it will be magical.

 

Thank you

[michael13boy]

.

Edited September 2, 2009 by michael13boy

[michael13boy]

Will there be any update soon???

[KJames]

Some of you have been asking, so I thought I ought to put something here about the delay on It Started With Brian.

 

I'm writing the rest of the story from Sam's notes. The closer to the present the notes get, the more sketchy they are, and the more detail I need to fill in. That usually requires that I harangue John and get some of the missing detail from him. He's always been more than generous in sharing his time with me to work on this, and he's been willing to share details that are quite personal and at times surely painful. For these reasons and so many more, I want to do right by this story, as right as I can.

 

I had a version of the next chapter finished a couple of weeks ago. In writing it, I followed a plan that Sam had mentioned in passing to me. There were a series of conversations between him and John in the wake of the events described in Chapter 26, but I think Sam was wary of beating the reader down with all these repetitive conversations, so his original plan was to represent all the conversations as one--one extended conversation following "Brian's" kiss.

 

I wrote the chapter like that. I had to do a lot of filling in and a lot of imaginative reconstruction, but I came up with a chapter that seemed okay to me.

 

I always submit the chapter to John for him to look at it before I post it. John has always pretty much given each chapter the go-ahead, but I always want to give him the right to request a revision.

 

This time, he did. He felt that if the series of conversations got represented as just one long conversation, an aspect of Sam's emotional dynamic during the remainder of the story wouldn't come out as clearly as it needed to. He made a very good case for representing the conversations as multiple conversations.

 

It's the only time he's ever asked for a rewrite--how could I not do what he asked? This is his story, his and Sam's, and I take it as a sacred charge, and as a promise I made to Sam, to get it as right as I could get it.

 

The problem, though, was that, as I said, Sam's notes were pretty sketchy at this point, so I knew I'd need John to fill me in on a lot of things. I wasn't even clear on the chronology of their talks myself. And worse, I wasn't even sure what questions I should ask John. I was afraid it was going to take about five pretty lengthy IM sessions.

 

As it turned out, it only took two. Those took place a couple of weeks ago, and I've been slowly rewriting the chapter. Slowly, because the narrative flow becomes a little more complex with the revisions. But I think, like John, that it'll be for the better.

 

Something else has developed. I thought that I'd need to write a Chapter 27 and a Chapter 28, and that would cover the remaining ground and segue into the final chapter, which Sam wrote months before his death. As I began working on it, though, I began to realize that I'll probably need to split the material originally planned for Chapter 27 into two chapters, and the material originally planned for Chapter 28 into to chapters. That means Sam's chapter, the final chapter of the story, will in all likelihood be Chapter 31.

 

I don't want any of you to worry that that means it'll be that much longer before the story is finished. I'll probably bang out two chapters at a time from here to the end. It's just that I'm thinking there's too much material to represent it all in two chapters. I'll know more by the time I've finished writing this latest one. I hope to be finished with it by the end of the week.

 

Thanks for your patience and for your ongoing support of Sam's story. And thanks to you readers of ISWB who have also written me about Crosscurrents. If you've followed both stories, you've seen the weird way in which two online lives intersect and have impact on each other. It's been one of the strangest experiences of my life, but also very gratifying, and I'm so thankful I got to know Sam, and that I've made a solid e-friend in John.

 

And all of these reasons are precisely why I haven't even started to read this story yet. I was reading the forums when he posted that he was no longer writing, etc., and that you would be taking up the finishing of this project. I am sort of susceptible to the emotional upheaval, so I'd prefer to wait until it's posted completely...at 31 chapters or so, it still won't take me long...

[Adam Phillips]

Okay...I know I posted here last month and said that a new chapter was on its way.

 

Stuff happens. I had all kinds of things going on over the summer. And John--my point of contact with the story of Sam and Brian--was involved in some transitions of his own that took him out of pocket for a while.

 

But mainly, I couldn't figure out how to do the rewrite. How far to take Chapter 27. How to divide out the remaining material.

 

So I just avoided it and let it roll around in my subconscious.

 

Week before last, I returned to it, and hammered out the rest of the chapter.

 

From there, I went and organized Sam's notes. Decided where major chapter divisions belonged. And discovered, as I looked closely at his notes, that there was more that needed to be told than I'd originally considered.

 

Once the divisions sorted themselves out, I made folders on my computer for each major remaining section, and put the relevant notes in the appropriate folder.

 

In the course of that, I came to realize that the story's going to be 34 chapters long, not 31.

 

Don't groan.

 

The time I spent sorting through his notes--which were quite non-linear, chronologically--has paid off. I have a much clearer picture of what's going in which chapter and how many chapters there'll be. The remaining material won't be near as difficult to assemble into readable chapters, so the work should go faster.

 

In any case, I've finished a draft of Chapter 27 that should address the difficulties John pointed out a couple of months back. I'm sending him a copy to look at before I sign off tonight. Then it'll go to my editor, and I expect to post it next week.

 

Thanks for your patience.

 

 

Adam P

[Conner]

Groan.

 

The upside is I get to practice "patience" which I really suck at.

 

It's clear to me that you want to get the story "right" and I admire that.

[Adam Phillips]

I finally have a draft of ISWB 27 that John can tolerate. ;-) I've just sent it to my editor. It shouldn't be long now.

 

This has been one of the more challenging writing projects I've ever worked on. I want so badly to get it right, but of course, I wasn't there and can't hope to capture things exactly as John remembers them. He's been really great about being supportive, never complaining that my stuff is crap, always willing to elaborate when I ask a question, sharing deep and personal feelings with me, helping me to try to see the story as he sees it--as he and Sam experienced it. Where the work falls short, none of the blame should fall his way. I couldn't do these final chapters of Sam's story without him.

 

--Adam

[Nephylim]

I have just read the story from beginning to end and I can't begin to describe how moving it was. You're doing a great job Adam. Dan would be proud... I am sure that he IS proud.

[Adam Phillips]

After months of fooling around, and avoiding, and generally staying-stuck, I've posted a new chapter:

 

It Started With Brian, Chapter 27

 

 

Big-time thanks to John, who got me past this stuck place with his patience, his tolerance for my intrusions into his personal life and his memories, and his willingess to answer a billion stupid questions.

 

Readers may find the next couple of chapters somewhat repetitive and tiresome, at least on a couple of themes. Probably no more tiresome than the experiences behind them were for John. Still, I think they're important, because all the while the "plot" will be advancing, and the repetitiveness is going to be part of what drives the story.

 

Thanks for your patience, everyone.

 

 

--Adam

Edited September 22, 2009 by AdamP

[Conner]

I was right there with Sam throughout that whole chapter, believing and not believing, wanting a happiness that could only bring madness.

 

I so want it to be true. That a straight man could love another man so much, want to be with that man so much, that he could and would foresake his natural desires.

 

I can't begin to imagine Brian's journey to that place.

 

Beautifully told, Adam.

[johnwut]

I don't understand. I liked it better when it was fiction. Now, what's the point? Whatever the ending was, we already know it. Everything this guy, Sam, went through, it ends with him dying of colon cancer. I don't understand. How long did they have to be friends again? All the struggling this guy went through. I'm sorry, I am not saying this as a negative toward Sam, it just makes me feel like there really is no point, you know, to anything. Whether you're a good person or a bad person. This poor guy...I liked it better when it was fiction.

 

I suppose Sam could have taken that position. Given up. Done nothing. Spent his life wallowing. Instead he made a difference to a lot of people. Raised a great kid. And for the record we might not have had as much time as we would have liked but we were damn happy during what we did have. Shit happens to everybody. It's what you do with it that is the point. If things go bad and you lay around wallowing that would make life pretty pointless. Sam's life wasn't pointless.

[Conner]

I suppose Sam could have taken that position. Given up. Done nothing. Spent his life wallowing. Instead he made a difference to a lot of people. Raised a great kid. And for the record we might not have had as much time as we would have liked but we were damn happy during what we did have. Shit happens to everybody. It's what you do with it that is the point. If things go bad and you lay around wallowing that would make life pretty pointless. Sam's life wasn't pointless.

 

I couldn't agree more.

[Nephylim]

I couldn't agree more.

 

 

Ditto. It isn't how long you've got... it's what you do with what you've got. He made a difference and he is still making a difference with this story.

[Adam Phillips]

I've just posted the latest segment of It Started With Brian.

 

It Started With Brian, Chapter 28

 

Thanks, readers, for staying with Sam's story.

 

--Adam Phillips

[Conner]

Great, great chapter, Adam!

 

Brian's monologue about himself and his feelings for Sam...just stupendous. So much pain, regret, doubt. That must have been tough to write. But I really get that the clarity he has now around Sam is totally sincere. Brian's ready to do whatever it takes to have Sam in his life.

[Adam Phillips]

Sam left us a year ago today. I miss him. Though I never met him in person, he was one of the most compassionate, intelligent, and wise people I've ever encountered. It took him a while to apply those qualities to his own life, but in the end he found what he was looking for.

 

RIP, buddy.

 

 

--Adam

[Zeoanne]

Thanks for the reminder Adam. Since I woke up this morning I felt something tugging at me. I knew there was something about today the 25th other than my parents anniv. and now that I just saw your post I was reminded, by you. I so much wish I could've known him for he sounded like such a special man, a soul with so much to give. Even though I don't even know what he looked like I will remember him with happiness instead of sorrow. Could you let his 'man' know that I'm also thinking of him? Please, I'd appreciate it much. Thanks Adam!

~Rush~

[Cia]

I read this story and never visited the forum. Very profound before I knew the backstory. Good thoughts and wishes of comfort to everyone involved in this..

 

Cia

[michael13boy]

Any news?

[Adam Phillips]

Chapter 29 has just been posted to the eFiction section:

 

It Started With Brian, Chapter 29

 

This story will be finished by the end of 2009. I'll be posting two more chapters in November, and the final three in December.

 

I just want to say a note of thanks, gratitude, and appreciation to John. To allow someone you didn't know all that well to come nosing into your life, and to be so generous in sharing your memories, has honored and humbled me. There's no way I could finish this story like it needs to be finished without your input.

 

--Adam

Edited November 15, 2009 by AdamP

[Conner]

It seems to be a very painful time all around.

 

Kudos to Brian for getting help with AA.

 

Thanks for laying out the schedule, Adam.