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[Mellicat] The Other Side


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Ugh, those last two chapters hurt bad.

 

Yay for Cole and Seth! I knew Cole slept with someone, but it worked out well. Now they have an understanding, having finally talked about monogamy. Same for Sam and Jason. Now they both know what they want, instead of assuming, and someone getting hurt. Glad he gave her another chance.

 

But poor Toby. Oh man. I know drug addiction is so powerful, and it takes a lot of support to overcome it, but without family, and friends far away, and not thinking clearly, I guess he couldn't do it. It became too much, probably the withdrawal, and he checked out. You described the scene in few words- his bloated body, decaying stench, needle still in his arm, but it was very visual. I actually read this last night, but needed time to process it and realize that it's just a story and not to agonize over it too much! The saddest part was that he did want help, he did call Seth, but he still gave up in the end. How did such a nice, quiet boy in college turn into this and have that kind of death? I guess that's the reality of life; life is hard. You really have to fight for it.

 

Great story! I was happy to follow it through. Look forward to future works by you, however long it takes!

 

Tiffani

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I just finished this story. Whew and ugh... Poor Toby. And poor Seth! He must be tearing himself up to pieces. Seth really is a great guy; he's my favorite character. Laid-back, a great friend, everything in one package. I'm glad Samantha tried so hard in winning Jason back, because her fling with Allen was pretty rotten as far as choices go. And Toby... Poor Toby. That last scene of ch 16 was horrific. It reminded me of a shot in the movie 'Mulholland Drive.' My gut clenched up when I read it. *shudder*

 

Now, some technical/constructive crit ;) : it took me about two chapters to get into the story. One of the things I'd like to see is more backstory on the characters -- not so much Sam, as there's a good bit with her and her dad, but particularly Toby. That's important in making believable the idea that Toby was shy and shadowed by Seth in college. But once I got into the story, I found it very fluent, very enjoyable. The technique of using parallel events and juxtapositions was great and very well executed.

 

Very nice! Brava!

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Thanks for you comments. They are much appreciated. I am trying something new with the story I'm writing now. I did a much more character study before I began. We'll see if I can translate it into the story. Every time I write one I learn something new. I do think I took on a bit much with The Other Side. I don't think I was ready to write a story as in depth as this one should have been. I felt from about half way through that is wasn't as good as it should / could be. So much so that I did quit it for awhile. It sat half done for five months before I decided to just finish it and quit obsessing over it how it should have been better.

But it is done and now I will take what I learned and try to make the next story better. I suppose in a few months you can read Afterglow and see if I improved any.

Thanks again. You guys here at GA have been great.

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Right.

So I know that I'm late, but I was pretty much out of town without internet.

 

Anyways... I absolutely loved your story. The ending was well... good as sad endings go. It was really good, and a great change of pace from post of the stories. I really liked the POV changes and that sort of stuff. I agree that Seth was my favourite character as well. He definitely grew the most, and his whole thing with Cole was an interesting part of it. I'm glad that Samantha got back on track, and I really wish that Toby could have as well. I guess that Toby's death was still probably necessary, however, or it wouldn't have made the impact that it did.

 

Your story was terrific, and I can't wait for more great work from you.

 

~Mikie

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  • Site Administrator

Mel,

 

Great story :worship: .

 

I really enjoyed it (or else I wouldn't post :P ) from the start to the end. I too may have to agree with Corvus, as I look back, really it was only Sam that we really got a look into their home life before they moved away. Funny thing is, I have to think back to think of anything that may have been lacking. While reading the story in real time, I just enjoyed what you gave us. :hug:

 

I have to take time to compliment you on the way you handled Toby's final scene in his apartment. I was worried when Seth made the first call to the rehab clinic to find out Toby was gone, but I was hoping and feeling everything was going to be okay. Although my nervousness about him increased with a call to his parents, I was still under the illusion that everything was going to be okay. When Seth and Cole arrived outside Toby's door, I knew things were not okay, but I so wanted anything but what they found behind the door.

 

It was nice that something good came out of Toby's passing, in that Sam and Jason, and Seth and Cole got to meet each others and all of them were there to help share their grief. The leaving at the airport as the ending though, kind of left the whole story on a somewhat sad note, yet optimistic for the future.

 

Well I have babbled on enough, and I will definitely be looking forward to your next story.

 

Thank you :D

 

Steve B)

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  • 4 weeks later...

Hey Mel

 

In this story we learn about 3 good friends, each different in their own ways. But once the three move on to life there own lives, we notice how each change some for the better and others for the worse. I'm glad Seth changed the way he did. Cole turned his entire world around and make him see just the type of person he was, and slowly he changed that.

 

Sam, she made a mistake, Seth tried warning her but that didn't seem to do much good. But in the end Sam overcomes everything.

 

Now here's the hard part...

 

It just breaks my heart to think that people like Toby could really change like this, and I know it happens, and it really makes me upset/sad. Seth tried everything he could to help his best friend, but you can only do so much when the other person isn

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Thank you for the read Mel.

 

-Mike

 

 

Thanks Mike. I appreciate your comments. TOS was a hard story for me to write. In fact I had to take a break and put it on the shelf for a few months.

But to write the 'happy ending' for all to me seemed like a cop out. I had to write what I felt was 'real' so there you have it.

Thanks again

Melli

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