One Moonlit Night

[sat8997]

My good friend, Steven Keiths, has just posted Chapter One of his story One Moonlit Night. I highly recommend this one and I'm sure Steven would appreciate any feedback.

 

Also, please excuse the odd lack of paragraph spacing. Steven is just a bit computer challenged (I'm amazed he actually got the thing posted don't ask how many emails it took) so we'll have to get that part fixed.

 

ETA: Fixed!!!

[Benji]

My good friend, Steven Keiths, has just posted Chapter One of his story One Moonlit Night. I highly recommend this one and I'm sure Steven would appreciate any feedback.

 

Also, please excuse the odd lack of paragraph spacing. Steven is just a bit computer challenged (I'm amazed he actually got the thing posted don't ask how many emails it took) so we'll have to get that part fixed.

 

ETA: Fixed!!!

 

 

............It is indeed a great story, I've already read it!

[sat8997]

Chapter Two is up.

[sat8997]

Chapter Three is up. He keeps sneaking these in when I'm not looking.

[sat8997]

Chapter Four is up.

[Steven Keiths]

Chapter Five is now posted.

 

It cannot be said enough times: Thank you Sharon for editing and helping me post One Moonlit Night here at GA.

 

--Steven

Edited July 1, 2008 by Steven Keiths

[sat8997]

Hey!! You figured out the posting deely-bopper.

[Steven Keiths]

Hey!! You figured out the posting deely-bopper.

 

 

Yes, it took some doing, but I persevered, perspired and posted. Now the only editing to the post I have to do is go in and take out the extra line spacing between paragraphs. Much better than having it all come out as one huge paragraph and adding line spacing.

 

I even made post --wrong place--but a post nonetheless, stating Chapter Five was up. It's somewhere around here :wacko:

 

Chapter Six is up now. Haven't figured where I add that yet. I thought I just started a new topic, but that's what I did yesterday. It's not here now.

 

Also, appears I'll have to edit my profile. That's the wrong age. I'm still trying to decide if I should be 30 for the second time or 20 for the third time. The conundrums I have to deal with.

[sat8997]

Uh, Steven? Scroll up a few posts.

 

We try to keep things nice and tidy so each story has only one thread. Little elfs run around when no one is looking combining things.

[sat8997]

Chapter Seven is up. Steven got the hang of that link thing.

[sat8997]

Double post this time. Chapters Ten and Eleven are up.

[D and B]

You know, I'm really enjoying this story. Instead of being focused on "gay teen angst" or "gay teen deals with bad family reaction", it's exploring a gay couple building a relationship, being support of each other's individual goals and aspirations, learning to make a life together and be a force for good around them. You get elements of negative reaction to coming out, sure, but it's not the main focus of the story. And that is really a good thing. This one is going places most stories don't, and in general doing a pretty darn good job of doing it.

 

Petty criticism: Steven seems to have had a bit of a problem "getting here from there" -- the transition paragraphs moving between significant events separated in space or time. It looks like he's getting better at writing them already; if he wants help on that, I'd suggest contacting some of the more experienced writers on how they do it. (Not me -- it's one of my bugaboos too -- people like Dan, CJ, Graeme, Comsie.)

 

But frankly, I really like the story and the style. I believe in Bash and Scotty -- they're real people, with their own hearts and quirks, their own problems and the ways they find to work through them, that I could imagine having dinner with. And that's the mark of a great writer. Nice job, Steven!

[sat8997]

The last chapter and epilogue has been posted. Thank you, Steven, for allowing me to...not nag you into posting it here at GA. Also, thanks for the lovely words in your announcement.

 

Now stop goofing off and finish LTB.

[Steven Keiths]

And I meant every syllable. I just omitted the lashings and food deprivation

 

I'm writing, I'm writing!