so long and kiss my ass

[Linxe Termoil]

I withdraw my support of any and all gay rights causes.

 

There is nothing in it for me so f**kIT

 

I don't know what's going on with you , but you seem to have become very bitter and angry lately, sadly, I only noticed this yesterday. Look, I understand where you're coming from and as a former member of the United States Navy, I understand why you feel those are important issues. The fact of the matter is that you completely disregarded another generation of homosexual males and females and decided that their feelings didn't mean diddly shit because to you they aren't adults and don't have a dicks lick of an idea on life. Who the hell made you god that you could decide that their feelings and opinions didn't mean jack shit?

 

No one.

 

As was previously stated, we all have different opinions on what is more important. But how can we honestly expect equal rights in the military and in the work place if we can't even get equal rights in school? Not a single person here is wrong in their feelings or in regards to what they feel is important. But you need to remember that equal rights have to start somewhere. A battle won in the courtrooms in regards to this young lady's prom date may very well be a battle won in regards to DADT or employment later on in life. It's a slow battle, and I know you're tired, but don't give up. Just think about the fact that for all of us within different generations, other things are more important than others.

 

The best of my regards to you, good sir.

 

Jon

[Tomas]

Remember what a big thing that a relatively "small" group of drag queens started at Stonewall. Where would gay rights be today if that hadn't of happened. Seems to me that this whole prom thing falls into the same "small" category.

 

It is sad that so many seem to forget what were the important issues in their lives when they were teens in high school. It certainly wasn't discrimination in the workplace or the military. It wasn't whether or not gays could get married. The "big" issues for a gay student in high school may seem to be petty, unimportant and small to those of us who have to deal with the bigoted discrimination of the adult world, but consider, fighting those petty, unimportant, small battles is really preparing those high schoolers for fighting the battles they will face as they leave school. Tell them to sit down and STFU often enough and they might not bother to get up again.

 

As for today's media. Print media sees their circulation numbers falling, broadcast news media sees their rating numbers dropping and they become desperate to stop the plunge to oblivion, so they will latch on to anything that they can sensationalize and drive it into the ground blowing it all out of proportion to the actual event. The more controversial, or the more horrendous, the more and longer they harp on it. I doubt, with few exceptions, that what some would refer to as "Journalistic Integrity" continues to exist in any great measure.

 

What this girl did may have been a small battle and will not in and of itself win the war, but every small victory is like the small chips the sculptor makes in the large block of marble to eventually expose the beautiful statue hidden within.

 

FWIW that's my $.02.

[Adam Phillips]

The thing that strikes me as intriguing is that apparently there are demographic pockets oddly distributed across the US characterized by different reactions.

 

I guarantee this has already happened at high schools in the Dallas area, with male and with females.

 

Already when I was in high school (I graduated in '98) the whole gay thing was not any particular big deal in my school. Not even among the group that's often reviled in story and song for being the most homophobic of all demographics...the jocks.

 

And when I got to college there was even more acceptance of gay people by straight people.

 

Which is not to say that I never ran into virulent homophobia in high school or college. I'm just saying that for the majority of my cohort at both places, it wasn't any big deal.

 

And if that's true in freakin Dallas, surely it must be becoming more and more the norm everywhere.

 

Then again, Dallas is not some small town in Mississippi.

[Rizan]

tl;dr just saying, i had to give my opinion after reading all those damn replies.

 

It seems to me that you just pulled what they've been doing to all of us for quite a long time:

 

"STFU your issues aren't as pressing" -- this is essentially what you are saying to "us" because we want to be able to go to a frigging prom with someone we care for.

 

"STFU your issues aren't as pressing" -- is what we've had shoved down our throats for YEARS pertaining to gay rights at all. STFU these things are more important than gay rights. STFU world hunger is more important than gay rights. STFU throwing Lace in to the pacific ocean to teach him how to swim is more important than gay rights.

 

Quite hypocritical if you ask me.

 

There's my over 9000 cents.

 

Edit: Also, just saying, minus the braces I would totally date that Jacob kid in that link Drewbie.

[Mark Arbour]

What a bunch of hot heads in this thread. If only you could all be calm, cool, and collected like me.

 

In all seriousness, I thought this did expose some pretty interesting issues, mostly generational. I was intrigued. Now, with all the posturing, I'm rather disappointed.

[KJames]

What a bunch of hot heads in this thread. If only you could all be calm, cool, and collected like me.

 

In all seriousness, I thought this did expose some pretty interesting issues, mostly generational. I was intrigued. Now, with all the posturing, I'm rather disappointed.

 

I'm with you, Mark, although I can sympathize with James a bit--I mean, let's face it, our media knows how to beat a dead horse better than the glue factories--the prom was already held, and the unpopular students and lesbians were misguided to a 'false' prom with very weak attendance, while the majority of the students went to the 'real' prom, which was a real injustice to everyone.

[PrivateTim]

The thing that strikes me as intriguing is that apparently there are demographic pockets oddly distributed across the US characterized by different reactions.

 

I guarantee this has already happened at high schools in the Dallas area, with male and with females.

 

Already when I was in high school (I graduated in '98) the whole gay thing was not any particular big deal in my school. Not even among the group that's often reviled in story and song for being the most homophobic of all demographics...the jocks.

 

And when I got to college there was even more acceptance of gay people by straight people.

 

Which is not to say that I never ran into virulent homophobia in high school or college. I'm just saying that for the majority of my cohort at both places, it wasn't any big deal.

 

And if that's true in freakin Dallas, surely it must be becoming more and more the norm everywhere.

 

Then again, Dallas is not some small town in Mississippi.

 

I get what you are saying Adam, but then again Dallas isn't a small town in TX either. I wonder what it is like for gay kids in Huff Springs, Marfa or Booker. Has enlightenment reached there yet?

 

CA is the same way in many ways, homosexuality is pretty well accepted and entrenched, Virginia Uribe founded Project 10 in 1984 so kids wouldn't have to go through what the young lady in MS did (as a side note Virginia Uribe DID think the prom story was a big deal and she supported her, but then that is what Ms. Uribe has been doing for 54 years, supporting gay youth). But get into the central valley of CA and it is more like Oklahoma than LA or San Francisco. There are state laws trying to protect kids, but state laws can't stop all harassment or shear meanness.

 

I think it is important we fight the small battles to win the big ones especially when it comes to gay youth in the schools feeling supported from the gay community. You make neighborhoods livable by first fixing the broken windows and painting over the graffiti, you tackle the bigger problems after that. It is all about changing people's attitudes and that takes time.

 

I wish I could be as calm and reasonable as Mark

[methodwriter85]

I'm from the suburban state of Delaware, and it wasn't that big of a deal here, either. And my high school days were looooonnnggg ago- all the way back in the ancient days of 2005. *looks at Mark and Adam and winks*

 

If I had been dating, I would have brought a boyfriend to the prom. *sigh* Oh, well.

Edited April 12, 2010 by methodwriter85

[Tommy_B]

I see what James is saying, in the grand scheme of things, prom is not the end of hte world, bullying in school is an issue, but not to make prom the main issue of gay's being discriminated in schools. Getting fired from a job or being forced out, don't ask don't tell, is a bigger issue.

 

I find this case a bigger issue http://americanasylu...fends-gay-teen/

 

http://www.365gay.com/news/gay-teen-settles-out-of-court-with-school-over-bullying/

[nightsky]

IMHO, fighting about which is the bigger issue is an exercise in futility and makes no forward progress in the quest for equal rights. When people in oppressed groups argue about these types of things, then they aren't fighting together.

 

It takes all sorts, fighting against all injustices to help bring to light how hurtful these types of actions can be. Personally, I know I don't have the energy to fight all the fights, so I'm glad for people who have the energy to take up where I didn't. I feel reassured that someone is fighting the good fight, so I can hold onto some hope that someone will speak up when it needs to be done.

 

After all, "Your silence will not protect you."(Audre Lorde)

 

 

 

[John Doe]

I think it is good that this prom thing is getting attention. Equality needs to start somewhere. I do not believe that this prom issue is not as important than Don't ask don't tell or equality in the work place. It is of equal importance. Say Don't Ask Don't tell and equality in the work place is passed in our favor... so then it makes it okay for our children to be discriminated based on their sexual orientation? I would hope not. I want my children to have the same rights as any other child as I want the same rights as anyone else in this country.

 

"I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by [their sexual orientation] but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today!"

As Doctor King has said.

When we discriminate against our own children, saying it's okay for them to lose their rights and be discriminated against then what right do we have to demand such equality?

But I do agree... Don't ask Don't tell and workplace equality does need focus and I do believe it's being pushed to the back. We as a community need to figure out how to bring those subjects forward.

 

[John Doe]

Haha Linxe I just noticed your post and I posted the same thing....relatively speaking, so sorry for repeated "opinion."

[Drewbie]

http://www.365gay.com/news/gay-teen-settles-out-of-court-with-school-over-bullying/

 

 

Thanks, only beef I have is that they don't have to admit nothing, how would they learn for the next kid/teen to be bullied.

?

 

Under the terms of the settlement, the district must pay Jacob $50,000 and pay $25,000 in legal fees for the NYCLU. The district does not need to admit any wrongdoing, but school district is required to hire an expert consultant on harassment and discrimination to review the district

[jon-jon]

I think it is good that this prom thing is getting attention. Equality needs to start somewhere. I do not believe that this prom issue is not as important than Don't ask don't tell or equality in the work place. It is of equal importance. Say Don't Ask Don't tell and equality in the work place is passed in our favor... so then it makes it okay for our children to be discriminated based on their sexual orientation? I would hope not. I want my children to have the same rights as any other child as I want the same rights as anyone else in this country.

 

"I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by [their sexual orientation] but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today!"

As Doctor King has said.

When we discriminate against our own children, saying it's okay for them to lose their rights and be discriminated against then what right do we have to demand such equality?

But I do agree... Don't ask Don't tell and workplace equality does need focus and I do believe it's being pushed to the back. We as a community need to figure out how to bring those subjects forward.

 

 

 

This thread is too surreal given all the coming of age stories posted on the GA site. It's not just fiction folks. It really happens. And when it happens to you it is not a small thing.

But whether or not it is just a "small" problem misses the point. We all have a passion for different things and we direct that passion on the things that matter to us. Its not right or wrong that others are passionate about something else. Some fight this battle; others fight that battle. We can't all fight every battle. Hopefully, when the battle is important our passions will unite and we will fight the same battle together.

As for the media - it's just business to them. It's our GLBT organizations through our support that have to keep the "big" problems at the forefront of the media's attention.

As for Mississippi, I am not holding my breath.

[TetRefine]

How the f**k can you say that the issues of gay youth are not as important as those of adults?!?! First off, the whole prom issue is much bigger than just high school drama bulls**t. Its about equal and fair treatment no matter if you are gay, straight, black, white, or a f**kin' alien for that matter. You seem to have forgotten what it is like being gay in high school and how miserable it is for lots of us. Thats why so many gay teens commmit suicide because they feel like no one is there to help or guide them. And you're saying that it is just trivial and doesn't matter in the scheme of things?!?! Bullshit! People who work with GLBT youth are often in the business of saving lives due to that very reason.

 

If us "unimportant, drama queen high schoolers" are raised in the same discrimination as the older generations were, how have things gotten any better? They won't. Focusing on teaching tolerance at the youth level will allow an entire generation to grow up with the mindset that Gay is OK, instead of trying to change the minds of adults who were raised differently and have probably already made up their mind. Build from the bottom up, not the top down.

 

It is that reason why youth gay rights are just as important, if not more that adult gay rights. It is sad to think that some gay adults don't see the gay youth as important.

Edited April 23, 2010 by TetRefine

[Adam Phillips]

I get what you are saying Adam, but then again Dallas isn't a small town in TX either. I wonder what it is like for gay kids in Huff Springs, Marfa or Booker. Has enlightenment reached there yet?

 

Good point. And that's what I meant in suggesting that a wave of good will hasn't swept across the whole land, equal-like. There are pockets. And you're right: the metropolitan areas, I'll bet, are more accepting than the smaller towns.

 

I wish I could be as calm and reasonable as Mark

 

I'm always about as calm and reasonable as Mark.

[Mark M]

I kinda wish i could add a canadian perspective to this whole thing, but frankly having proms is rare.... Alot of schools now are refusing to Celebrate Holidays like Halloween because of cultural differences....kinda sucks....and the proms that i have heard of are so picky with keeping boys and girls apart that it is pointless to go.

 

In all of the towns around me, i havent heard of a prom, in all my life. Only in the movies they happen.

 

We have dances...but there informal, and if u wanted to bring ur bf or gf well....if they notice that ur in the crowed with a guy and....probably only a slow dance would get an actual realisation rather then just two dudes goofin off....

 

Kinda can understand how the media could kill

 

Anyway in Canada we kinda don't here of the problem...maybe because the media can't legaly discriminate Sexuality anymore or not.

[wildone]

I kinda wish i could add a canadian perspective to this whole thing, but frankly having proms is rare.... Alot of schools now are refusing to Celebrate Holidays like Halloween because of cultural differences....kinda sucks....and the proms that i have heard of are so picky with keeping boys and girls apart that it is pointless to go.

 

In all of the towns around me, i havent heard of a prom, in all my life. Only in the movies they happen.

 

We have dances...but there informal, and if u wanted to bring ur bf or gf well....if they notice that ur in the crowed with a guy and....probably only a slow dance would get an actual realisation rather then just two dudes goofin off....

 

Kinda can understand how the media could kill

 

Anyway in Canada we kinda don't here of the problem...maybe because the media can't legally discriminate Sexuality anymore or not.

 

 

Prom is more of a regional term I've found Mark. I've heard social used as well. There was actually a landmark case up here where a gay student took on an Ontario Catholic School Board and the Catholic church and won the right to take his boyfriend to his prom.

 

The Marc Hall story tells about it in the movie Prom Queen.

 

I guess the difference up here is that the government dishes out all the tax money for school boards, so if they want government money, they cannot discriminate based on sexuality.

[JamesSavik]

Let me tell you why I went off the rails a couple of weeks ago.

 

After all of the media attention over petty crap, some bad things started happening in Mississippi.

 

The churches went into full hate mode. Some people I knew were let go from jobs that they had for years.

 

People with Human Rights Campaign or rainbow bumper stickers were pulled over and harassed by cops.

 

It happened to me the night before the post where I basically said I don't care about the prom, I've got bigger concerns.

 

The cops pulled me over on my way home from a 12 step meeting.

 

They had me open my toolbox and scattered my tools all on the roadside and threw everything in my truck. When they didn't find anything one of them said, we'll get you some other time. It took me an hour to get everything put up.

 

This is Mississippi.

 

This is the shit that we have to live with.

 

I don't mind a fight. Just pick a battle that means something.

[nightsky]

Let me tell you why I went off the rails a couple of weeks ago.

 

After all of the media attention over petty crap, some bad things started happening in Mississippi.

 

The churches went into full hate mode. Some people I knew were let go from jobs that they had for years.

 

People with Human Rights Campaign or rainbow bumper stickers were pulled over and harassed by cops.

 

It happened to me the night before the post where I basically said I don't care about the prom, I've got bigger concerns.

 

The cops pulled me over on my way home from a 12 step meeting.

 

They had me open my toolbox and scattered my tools all on the roadside and threw everything in my truck. When they didn't find anything one of them said, we'll get you some other time. It took me an hour to get everything put up.

 

This is Mississippi.

 

This is the shit that we have to live with.

 

I don't mind a fight. Just pick a battle that means something.

 

 

 

I'm sorry that that happened to you. It shouldn't have, and it was wrong.

 

On the other hand, I think that people ARE picking the battles that mean something. TO THEM.

 

I think the challenge is in getting people to care about battles that might not be just about them, but about others. How can we expect others to care about our battles if we don't care about anyone else's?

Edited April 24, 2010 by nightsky

[JamesSavik]

Do you think that the first time I've had a run in with cops?

 

So Constance got screwed out of her prom. Sad but expected given where she lives.

 

I'm worried about police that think they are working for Hitler.

 

I'm worried about losing clients because some asshole gets an ear-full of hate in church.

 

I'm worried that someone just might shoot me in the back for kicks and it'll be just another unsolved homo-cide.

 

If that doesn't rank higher on the scales of injustice than the prom then you have your head completely up you ass.

[Tomas]

As sad as it is, Mississippi has always been Mississippi... a haven for redneck, fundamentalist bigots as have Alabama, Georgia and up state Louisiana (well anything north and west of Baton Rouge, with a few exceptions). Primarily, but not exclusively, in rural areas and small back water towns. It has been so, as far back as I can remember and that is quite a few years.

 

Injustice is injustice no matter where it occurs or how large or small.

 

Unfortunately, as long as the "Boss Hogs", ignorant sheriffs, similar cop types, and the Fred Phelps of the world continue to exist and have an audience for which to expound their brand of hate, it will continue to be so.

 

Oh! Really shouldn't leave out large segments of Texas.

Edited April 24, 2010 by Tomas

[Hoskins]

Do you think that the first time I've had a run in with cops?

 

So Constance got screwed out of her prom. Sad but expected given where she lives.

 

I'm worried about police that think they are working for Hitler.

 

I'm worried about losing clients because some asshole gets an ear-full of hate in church.

 

I'm worried that someone just might shoot me in the back for kicks and it'll be just another unsolved homo-cide.

 

If that doesn't rank higher on the scales of injustice than the prom then you have your head completely up you ass.

 

Sounds like you need to get the f**k out of Mississippi.

[Aeroplane]

Sounds like you need to get the f**k out of Mississippi.

 

I agree, and be a model citizen in the meantime.

[jon-jon]

Do you think that the first time I've had a run in with cops?

 

So Constance got screwed out of her prom. Sad but expected given where she lives.

 

I'm worried about police that think they are working for Hitler.

 

I'm worried about losing clients because some asshole gets an ear-full of hate in church.

 

I'm worried that someone just might shoot me in the back for kicks and it'll be just another unsolved homo-cide.

 

If that doesn't rank higher on the scales of injustice than the prom then you have your head completely up you ass.

 

OK, now this is beginning to make sense.

 

Sounds like you need to get the f**k out of Mississippi.

 

Definately, get the f*** out of Mississippi

 

I agree, and be a model citizen in the meantime.

 

Sometimes being a model citizen in Mississippi is not enough. That's the problem. Bummer. James, I hope it gets better for you.