"5CBC" Review For 7/8/10

[Comicality]

Please feel free to leave any and all comments on the story's first 5 chapters, and give as much detail as you like! Remember not to leave any 'spoilers' from future chapters, as other people may not have read that far yet! And if you feel inspired, keep reading the rest of the series and email the author wit encouraging feedback on your own!

 

Place all replies below! The book club discussion is open! So jump on in!

[Johnathan Colourfield]

Having read this story being reccomended to me by a friend it was a very strange experience. Do Over is a brilliant example of time travel done right. There are no end of stories that cock it up. Do Over is excellent I may have to reread

[Agincourt]

Very interesting and imaginative premise -- far more nuanced than the stereotypical "time travel story."

 

Of course everything beyond this point is a spoiler for the first 5 chapters. Duh.

 

We find a fairly undistinguished and "ordinary" guy thrust into an incredibly unusual circumstance . . . the classic adventure premise. The thing is, he treated it as a lark. 20 minutes away from his rather drab and uninspired world. No more of a commitment than stopping by Jiffy Lube for an oil change. Of course he needed no preparation for it. After all, 20 minutes -- what's the big deal?

 

Imagine the hero's surprise to discover the twenty minutes stretching into days and weeks. For all we can tell (so far as the first five chapters are concerned), and as young Davey himself concludes, he has been sent back permanently to re-live his life starting at age 12 in the 7th grade.

 

What might he have done differently to prepare himself for this journey if he had known in advance? And would he have agreed to do it?

 

The moment when he started telling his young friends the truth about himself came rather abruptly, but I think the story probably benefited from this in an overall pacing sense.

 

It is very interesting to see Davey taking a number of "better" paths the second time through. Instead of being kind of a shy, lonesome nerd who stays on the sidelines, he finds himself at the center of the jock in-crowd, hanging out with guys who will enrich him and help him grow even as he offers his talents and insights to help them.

 

Chapter 5 leaves off at a fairly crucial moment when Davey's relationship with Brian, which had looked like something serious, was scraping the ground due to Brian's issues with drinking and perceived unfaithfulness. Also, every indication is that Brian's gay uncle is going to turn out to be a victim of AIDS, although no one of that time will really understand that.

 

I have not read any further but I can't help thinking about possible story lines. There has already been mention of how Davey's knowledge has helped his grandmother make better investment decisions, etc. I have to believe that various people, even Davey himself, will stake more and more on his ability to predict the future because he knows what it is.

 

And then, one day, something that he knows for certain will happen a certain way ... won't. Davey will be completely flummoxed. History as he knows it will suddenly be less certain, because in subtle little ways -- he'll start noticing more of them -- it's changing. And he will start to try to figure out how the little changes he has been making in his life could have influenced these other events. No doubt he will be surprised when he starts to see the connections.

 

In any case, it's a very interesting speculation on what would happen if a person was unexpectedly given the chance to live over a critical period of their earlier life. So far, it seems like Davey has made some fine choices, especially in trying to protect his sister Jenny from molestation from their father.

 

I also foresee that he will experience much frustration at the things that he cannot change, even knowing what is going to happen.

 

From a purely romantic standpoint, I do hope he and Brian find a way to reconcile.

 

A

[Agincourt]

I had another truly bizarre thought -- what if the Davey of 2004 really did (seemingly) come back after 20 minutes, while (unknown to mad scientist) leaving a doppelganger Davey behind who will continue to live and grow up with the 2004 Davey's knowledge?

 

I can't even get my head around the logic (or illogic) of it.

 

A

[Agincourt]

I hope someone else plans to post something.

 

A

[Nephylim]

Yep. Been reading the story and a number of things come to mind.

 

It's a tired old topic, time travel but I like the way that it has been given a somewhat inspirational twist.

 

The humanity of the experiences was what impressed me the most. tTe bittersweetness of meeting with people who have died, the tension of trying to decide whether or not to take steps that change the future, the initial hesitancy and growing confidence in making bigger and bigger changes.

 

I initially wondered at the fact that almost all of the referenced to the future Davey made in the beginning of the story were about military events but that was made clear when it was mentioned he was in the Navy. I suppose that would have focussed his mind on those things. I'm not sure that if I went back 20 years I would even remember what happened globally in between.

 

I like Davey's logic about keeping changes in his close circle rather than extending them to the world as a whole. The chances are that the wider the group of people who knew about him and the further away from his own family and friends, the more likely it would be that he would be manipulated and exploited.

 

I am surprised that he told anyone the truth, and I am somewhat suprised that he was beleived and accepted so easily. And then I remember they are twelve years olds. The world isnt as complex when your twelve, your mind isn't as closed and there is still room for magic in the world.

 

I would have liked to see more of what Davey was experiencing on a day to day basis regarding the differences between 1984 and 2004. The way of life, the use of technology, or not, the different teaching styles, clothes, attitudes. Yes, there is a little of that and perhaps that is enough but I would have been intersted in seeing more of that.

 

I also something think that the boys are too mature for 12. My son is 10 and my nephews 11 and 12 and I suppose I am basing my opinions on them but the boys, to be, often seem to be behaving like older teenagers. 12 is a difficult age and it seems as if there is still a lot more immaturity lurking under the surface than is shown here. Okay davey is more mature and perhaps Brandon could have been but to have 4 very different 12 year olds behaving like 15 year olds is sometimes a little too much.

 

I have to admit that I was sucked into the story and it was only when I was thinking about what to write here that this came to mind. I went back and re read it with this in mind and it became obvious to me in lots of places. I think the dance is one of them. Everyone at the dance behaved more maturely than 12.

 

Having said that I WAS sucked into the story and I loved the way that Davey's relationship wih Brian developled. I hope that they will stay together although I think that Brian's possessiveness might become a problem.

 

I think I am going to definitiely read on because I am hoping that at some point we will get to see the results of the changes that are being made, not just with Davey's relationships but also the wider ripples in his family and community. i suspect that they wll have a wider effect than he expected.

 

I think the writing style was fluid and vivid with enough personal deatail to flesh out the story and make it an experience rather than just a read. There were places where I thought it went a little flat and there were some parts that just didn't do it for me but they were very few and far between. I liked the first day of school part very much and I giggled at the Hobbit discussion. The comparisons that Davey made to his first first day were quite bittersweet and it made me feel sorry for the friends he'd made the first time round who had one less friend this time, even as i was glad for Davey that he was doing better this time.

 

My favourite part of the whole five chapters was the first time Davey and Brian kissed. That whole scene was just beautiful, although I think that it was, again, a little mature from Brian's point of view. i get the feeling that of the three... Brandon, Trevor and Brian... Brian is the least mature but this scene could easily have been written about two adults. It was very emotional, very touching and thankfully fairly sexless. I don't like reading about sex between younger children. I suppose it's having one of my own... well two if you count the 24 year old. I can remember her at 13 and the drama and stress she was under on a daily basis.

 

Anyway... at risk of ranting on for half an hour I'll just say this.... it was a great story, a good experience and I will be reading the rest which can't be bad.

 

I'm not promising not to skip to the end to make sure that Davey and Brian end up together before reading the rest of it though

 

 

[Comicality]

I have to be honest and say that this story gets an "A+" on the concept alone. I've read time travel stories before, and many of them have been REALLY good, but there's something about this one that seems to tak a really personal approach to the idea.

 

The writing itself is very entertaining, and I kinda like the way that every few paragraphs or every few interactions between characters, you get a little bit more of the story. I've never really tried that before or seen it anywhere else. It's like, you get the interaction first...and then later learn that the person he's speaking to has passed away, or was molested, or has since gotten a wife and kids. So that was a stand out part of the story to me.

 

I will admit that I was a bit shocked at how 'awful' the lives of these characters turned out at first. Murder, and paralysis, and death, for almost everyone involved. But as the story progresses and the main character starts to make changes...the them starts to lighten up a little, and it makes us all want to go back and fix things that needed to be fixed. Be aware of things that, at age 12, we were blissfully ignorant to. Ohhh, if only. Right?

 

One thing that I really wish had been explored more in depth was the idea of being '12' again. I mean, I can imagine that as being a truly BIZZARE experience! How would any of us react to being 12 again? Being in school, being soley dependent on our parents and having to obey their rules, trying to figure out ALGEBRA again??? How would we relate to friends that we used to have back then? While reading this story, it occurred to me that I've almost completely forgotten how to 'play'. Something as simple as a game of 'tag' or 'hide and go seek' would be lost on me at this point. So how would I go back and interact with my friends when those issues and comforts and problems don't really apply to me anymore? This story raised a lot of questions for me that made me stop reading and think about who I was. I really liked that.

 

I know people in real life who can't go a DAY without their internet, their FaceBook, and their cell phone! God FORBID if they got trapped back in the 80's with neither one! Hehehe!

 

The scene between the main character and Brian was really sensual, and yet filled with a certain amount of tension that really added a whole new dimension to the storyline. I think it brings the whole purpose of the story together at some point, and the dance is where things really egin to take off and it drags the reader in with the promise of something spectacular that's getting ready to happen. I've only read the irst 5 chapters so far, but I'd definitely love to read more. Because there's this 'knowledge' of the future that is almost kinda looming over the whole story, and I want to know what happens.

 

And what happens if there's a threat of going backto his original life? Will he lose everything and miss out? Or will the changes he made become apart of this new life...that he'll have to get used to all over again?

 

So yes...very enjoyable! But I would really love to see how he adjusted to being a little boy again. I think there's a lot of interesting story there between the lines. Being in the showers, and being uncomfortable in your own skin, everything appearing larger and feeling lighter. If I had to do it, I don't know if I would have the same life, or the same friends, or the same conversations that ultimately made me who I am. So there's a complexity to it all that I kinda feel was 'touched on' but not really explored.

 

STILL...excellent story! And I wanna finish it! So kudos to dkstories! ((huggles))

[Nephylim]

I know people in real life who can't go a DAY without their internet, their FaceBook, and their cell phone! God FORBID if they got trapped back in the 80's with neither one! Hehehe!

 

 

 

That's me

[Agincourt]

I just want to comment that I have been continuing in this story (Do Over) and it is a ripping good yarn. I won't say anything more, but it's definitely a page-turner (or whatever you would call it on a computer).

 

A

[Nephylim]

I agree. I haven't read the rest in the series yet but I really liked this one, especially the ending

[Agincourt]

I agree. I haven't read the rest in the series yet but I really liked this one, especially the ending

 

I'm only at chapter 19, but it;s still keeping me engaged.

 

I noticed that there is something called "Do Over Redux" listed as another story by this same author. I don't want to peek at it until I've finished this first one, in case the writeup gives things away.

 

At some point I should get back to the assigned reading for this week, though.

[Agincourt]

I'm only at chapter 19, but it;s still keeping me engaged.

 

I noticed that there is something called "Do Over Redux" listed as another story by this same author. I don't want to peek at it until I've finished this first one, in case the writeup gives things away.

 

Just a note to say that I'm up to chapter 36 of "Do Over" and it's definitely moved into some pretty amazing territory. Again, I won't say anything except to suggest that anyone who started might want to keep going. I should be done soon as the last chapter is Chapter 40. I don't know whether it would be appropriate to post a discussion of the full story here -- I assume this GA author has his own forum area (which I have not looked for as yet).

 

A

[Trebs]

Yes - he does have his own forum which can be found here...

 

As to the author - meh, he's ok...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

heheh - I get to say that, he's my hubby...

[Agincourt]

Yes - he does have his own forum which can be found here...

I went over to that forum, and immediately got nailed by a flaming (and unwarned-about) spoiler for the subsequent story. So I don't think I'll be hanging around over there.

 

A

[Trebs]

Ooops - sorry... not sure exactly what you saw, but definitely understand.