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Unwanted No More by Surfgrommett


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[Great work Grommett. I really loved this chapter; you have so much emotional development going on with the characters.

Plus you finally named the boy. Giving a character a name brings them an identity that they don't have otherwise. I've used that in writing before but I like knowing the characters a bit more than 'boy' lol. Poor Seth. It sounds like he hasn't had it the easiest in life and it's only going to get harder. He's got a huge emotional attachment to Shane that is confusing for him I'm sure and now the man he worships as his savior is injured in a savage attack. Obviously this town is haunted by something very bad and they ran head first into it.

Your writing style continues to impress. You have a great flow and your sense of pacing and dramatic impact is well used. This story has more twists and turns than a labyrinth. I for one am quite eager to see what chapter 4 will have for us.

 

Glad you didn't have any spoilers in there Cia. Sheesh! Just spit it out, don't hold back there.

 

And this chapter is exquisitely written. As are all of them so far. And that bit that Nephy said about writing at your own pace? Ya, I think I want you to forget that piece of advice for a bit if you don't mind. I want the next chapter yesterday if you could please.

Edited by Cia
hiding my spoilers :P
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  • Site Administrator

What?? I guess I shouldn't assume that people get the story updates in e-fiction before they come in here. I forget that my routine: read chapter, review, check forum and comment isn't universally used. It should be darn it! Sorry for the spoilers if I ruined it for anyone.

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What?? I guess I shouldn't assume that people get the story updates in e-fiction before they come in here. I forget that my routine: read chapter, review, check forum and comment isn't universally used. It should be darn it! Sorry for the spoilers if I ruined it for anyone.

 

Nah, I beta for him. But I couldn't let it pass. hehe

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