[Hamen Cheese] Charlie

[Hamen Cheese]

"...I felt peace and it didn’t really matter that I died in his arms." as opposed to "I felt peace and it didn’t really matter [iF] I died in his arms.".

 

I guess this means Derek's really dead.

 

And LOL at the spoiler about Adamagika.

 

You know I can't comment on that.

 

Why does Travis get book 2 of Adamagika first and we don't? waaaaaat?

 

Anyway, I just KNEW something bad was going to happen to Derek!

 

bam!

 

If it makes you feel any better, Travis has only read the first few chapters!

 

I'd like to suggest that we all start calling Hamen Cheese "Big C".

 

It goes with Cheese. It goes with Charlie. But most of all, it goes with Cliffhanger.

 

Just a suggestion.

 

Sush you!

 

Up to the very end, it's a cliffhanger, LOL (>_<) I look forward to the final chapter. I knew the emo boy is somehow involved, but not in this way. (O_O)

 

I did say maybe a few weeks back that Part Four ends with the worst cliffhanger ever. Haha. I'm glad you thought Jared was involved and not just some random character. I am toying with he idea of a story written from the other side for a different perspective but it might not be as interesting since a lot of the plot would already be known.

Edited January 11, 2012 by Hamen Cheese

[Anya]

You should be toying with the idea of writing a sequel and nothing else, Mister

[Aximili Chaosmembrane]

Uh, no. I didn't think Jared killed the other guy (jeez, I forgot his name already). And in fact, I thought he was in love with Charlie

[Conner]

Uh, no. I didn't think Jared killed the other guy (jeez, I forgot his name already). And in fact, I thought he was in love with Charlie

 

You may be right. I must admit I just assumed that Jared had killed Luke. But other than the knife, there's no hard evidence that he did. However, if Jared is aware of Luke's involvement in outing Travis, he has motive and, obviously, he's capable of killing.

 

All the more reason for an early release of the concluding chapter.

 

Everybody is in love with Charlie.

[auel]

you're so evil hamen.

 

will there be a sequel. this is worse than a definite ending. omg the suspense!~ T_T

 

next up is the sequel to the other story?

[writer2b]

This was an incredible story - moving, thrilling and brilliantly written. My only negative is that the ending wasn't quite as 'kiss off' a happy ending as I had hoped it would be. I would live if the story continued in a sequel when we could see Derek and Charlie actually get together.

 

Thanks for a truly great story.

[MarqMur]

I read a lot of these stories and trust me when I say that this is quite possibly my favorite story so far!

 

I'm a little bummed at the ending. I really wanted Charlie and Derek to get together and I really wanted Derek's father to get his in the end.

 

However, I think it was a really fitting ending. It wasn't a fairy tale ending with Big C and Hero tiptoeing through the tulips.

 

I'm begging for a sequel! I desperately need one!

 

Amazing story!

[Conner]

I have read some great sequels and...some not-so-great sequels. I believe, for a sequel to be good, the author has to have the same edge he did for the first story. There still has to be an attitude of "I've got to get this story out of me".

[Guest Mack2292]

Hamen, i absolutely loved Charlie!! I even become a member of GA just to to tell you this lol. But there was one loose end you didn't tie up and its killing me, why did derek's mother collect all of those cans? What was there purpose in the story??

 

I love you Hamen Cheese, and I love CHARLIE!!

[Anya]

Hamen...I loved the "new" ending ;p

 

Charlie and Derek even had their kiss xD

 

Anyways...beautiful ending! And see..everybody wants a sequel so....

[inuberry]

I LOVED the ending; it was beautiful. Waiting for each new chapter was torture, but this ending...well, it was worth it. Thank you so much for sharing this story with us.

[velefried]

I read this entire story yesterday and was so moved I needed to create an account to show my support.

 

I must say this is easily the best bit of fiction I've read in a long time. The way you plant things into your plot is marvelous and almost no detail is brought up at a later time. I loved how realistic Derek's character was. No matter how low he sunk, I never hated him. I always saw things from his side, which is what a good protagonist does. Even when he had hit rock bottom, all I could feel was excitement at how the plot had erupted and anticipation on how it would all come together. (After all, I did believe your promise of a happy ending.)

 

And to top it all off, the epilogue was the perfect icing on the cake. Even though I found myself crying (manly tears, of course,) it was fully satisfying.

 

I don't think Charlie NEEDS a sequel, but of course I wouldn't mind seeing more of these characters, especially now that our Hero has his memory back and is likely to start acting differently.

[Guest sandyr317]

I loved "Charlie" so much that waiting for each update was sometimes very difficult. I don't often read stories until they're finished as I've been disappointed a few times by authors who've just quit and are never heard from again.

 

Your story was not only one of the very best I've read but the devotion you showed to your fans was somewhat rare on this site. Not only did you make sure you published a chapter or told us there would be a delay, but you always took the time to reply to those who have posted messages.

 

I wish I had become part of that community earlier but congratulations on a very beautiful ending to the wonderful journey we all took with you. May there be many, many more stories you to share with us.

[Hamen Cheese]

you're so evil hamen.

 

will there be a sequel. this is worse than a definite ending. omg the suspense!~ T_T

 

next up is the sequel to the other story?

 

Hi auel! I have been toying with the idea of a sequel. Unfortunately, that is not a high priority right now. It's pretty much at the end of a list of stories I currently want to write. I have actually started writing another story (even before Charlie finisheed) and I was several chapter in. However, the feedback from Charlie readers have made me decide to re-write that story completely and I've only just begun again on what I hope would be a better Chapter One.

 

A sequel to Charlie is a possibility nonetheless as I already have some idea how everything will eventually end.

 

This was an incredible story - moving, thrilling and brilliantly written. My only negative is that the ending wasn't quite as 'kiss off' a happy ending as I had hoped it would be. I would live if the story continued in a sequel when we could see Derek and Charlie actually get together.

 

Thanks for a truly great story.

 

Hi writer2b! Yeah, I never planned to make it a "and they lived happily ever after" ending from the very first time I started writing it. However, you have the beta readers of Part Four for the much nicer ending that occured than if I had been left ot my own devices writing it.

 

As for a sequel, I would direct you to the comment above.

 

I read a lot of these stories and trust me when I say that this is quite possibly my favorite story so far!

 

I'm a little bummed at the ending. I really wanted Charlie and Derek to get together and I really wanted Derek's father to get his in the end.

 

However, I think it was a really fitting ending. It wasn't a fairy tale ending with Big C and Hero tiptoeing through the tulips.

 

I'm begging for a sequel! I desperately need one!

 

Amazing story!

 

Hi MarqMur! I think they were tiptoeing in the tulips (albeit for a very very short while as they got lost in each other's eyes).

 

As for a sequel, I would direct you to the comment above.

 

I have read some great sequels and...some not-so-great sequels. I believe, for a sequel to be good, the author has to have the same edge he did for the first story. There still has to be an attitude of "I've got to get this story out of me".

 

Hey Conner! Yeah, that is already a pressing worry in me given the surprising success of Charlie. I've had to rethink some of my writing strategies because of this story. The story for a sequel is there in my head. However, I'd like to dip my hand into another story for now. Thanks for the feedback as always!

 

Hamen, i absolutely loved Charlie!! I even become a member of GA just to to tell you this lol. But there was one loose end you didn't tie up and its killing me, why did derek's mother collect all of those cans? What was there purpose in the story??

 

I love you Hamen Cheese, and I love CHARLIE!!

 

Haha. Hey Mack2292! Regarding the cans, I'll post something after this multiquote reply. Thank you for making an account here and letting me know how much you enjoyed this story. I hope you find other things to like as well here on GA.

 

Hamen...I loved the "new" ending ;p

 

Charlie and Derek even had their kiss xD

 

Anyways...beautiful ending! And see..everybody wants a sequel so....

 

Hey Anya! Yes, I thought you would like that new ending. Hehehe.

 

I LOVED the ending; it was beautiful. Waiting for each new chapter was torture, but this ending...well, it was worth it. Thank you so much for sharing this story with us.

 

Hey inuberry! Thanks! Yeah, I know a lot of people don't like having to wait for every chapter of their favorite followed stories to come out. I personally dislike it. That's why even if I am guilty of that crime, I stuck to a schedule where people could more or less expect the next chapter to come out (regularly and in reasonable amounts of time). Hehehe. That's a lot better than my experience with some stories that started out well and then do not get updated for months (or ever)!

 

I'm glad it was worth it for you in the end.

 

I read this entire story yesterday and was so moved I needed to create an account to show my support.

 

I must say this is easily the best bit of fiction I've read in a long time. The way you plant things into your plot is marvelous and almost no detail is brought up at a later time. I loved how realistic Derek's character was. No matter how low he sunk, I never hated him. I always saw things from his side, which is what a good protagonist does. Even when he had hit rock bottom, all I could feel was excitement at how the plot had erupted and anticipation on how it would all come together. (After all, I did believe your promise of a happy ending.)

 

And to top it all off, the epilogue was the perfect icing on the cake. Even though I found myself crying (manly tears, of course,) it was fully satisfying.

 

I don't think Charlie NEEDS a sequel, but of course I wouldn't mind seeing more of these characters, especially now that our Hero has his memory back and is likely to start acting differently.

 

Hey velefried! First, thanks for making an account and letting me know how much you liked the story. It's moments like this that make me feel writing is worth it. I'm glad you liked Derek and managed through all the lows he went through. One of my greatest worries when I was writing this was that people would hate him so much without giving him a chance in the end.

 

Yes, he will definitely be different that the character you met in chapter one (in the event of a sequel). I think that if anything can make the prospect of a sequel interesting.

 

I loved "Charlie" so much that waiting for each update was sometimes very difficult. I don't often read stories until they're finished as I've been disappointed a few times by authors who've just quit and are never heard from again.

 

Your story was not only one of the very best I've read but the devotion you showed to your fans was somewhat rare on this site. Not only did you make sure you published a chapter or told us there would be a delay, but you always took the time to reply to those who have posted messages.

 

I wish I had become part of that community earlier but congratulations on a very beautiful ending to the wonderful journey we all took with you. May there be many, many more stories you to share with us.

 

Thank you sandyr317! I'm glad my decision to stick by a schedule paid off in the end. I am one of those people that have been sorely disappointed with some very good stories that started out so well but have not had an update in a substantial amount of time. It's my experience with those that drove me to do right by my readers when it came to my stories.

 

I hope your experience with my story gives you hope when following other authors here. GA is a great site with many authors committed in their writing. And although many stories may never see an ending, there are quite a few gemstones you'll find here that I think makes visiting still worth it in the end.

[Hamen Cheese]

There were several questions or comments regarding the cans of expired goods and I'll just discuss it a little more here. I can't delve into too much detail because the ending (that is, all of Part Four) changed somewhat by the time I finished introducing the cans in earlier parts of the story. As such, some details didn't make it to the released version of Part Four.

 

One such detail was highlighting the wealth of Derek's father. Simply put, Derek's dad is very rich. He got rich through some very questionable means that influenced heavily his opinion on gay people. None of these details were included in "Charlie" (something I did on purpose). However, it was alluded somewhat in Chapter 31 during a conversation between Derek and his mom:

 

“What are you going to do?” I asked.

 

Instead of answering me, she asked her own question. “Not so long ago, you asked me why I kept old expired cans in our kitchen. Do you remember what I told you?”

 

“Yes,” I said. “You said they were a reminder.”

 

“And they are,” she said with a tear-stained smile. “Once upon a time, long before you were born, we had nothing. We barely made enough money to afford the cheapest canned goods. Back then your father was different, certainly not like this. He was not caught up with work. He was not away for years. He cared for his family and did everything he could to turn things around. He didn’t want a future for his children to be where they barely had enough to eat. So he did everything he could to provide for me and you when you were born. He loved us, Derek. He loved us very much. I hoped and I prayed that he would come back.

They were, for Derek's mom anyway, a reminder of her history with Derek's dad. They were once poor (before Derek's time) and Derek's dad was not always a bigot. In fact, his bigotry started well after his marriage to Derek's mom. It was something he felt necessary for the industry he was involved in.

 

I can't really discuss it beyond that as doing so might spoil future plans which may or may not come to fruition.

[J.T.]

Okay... so I just finished reading Charlie this afternoon. The comedic value was not lost on me, but Derek's narcissistic views on everything going around him made me not really like him. At first I felt like I wanted to smack him with a pair of gardening gloves and tell him to get a grip. Then I wanted to announce the obvious to Derek with a bullhorn... At the end, I didn't know what to really give him. The epilogue, told in third-person, made Derek's demeanor "fall back down to earth" a bit (so to speak) and allowed me to like him again.

 

I enjoyed the twist with Luke's death. I totally thought Luke was writing the letters to intimidate Travis and Charlie, but Jared? Now that was unexpected. There are some sections of the story where I didn't think Derek would be /that/ oblivious to the behaviors of his life-long best friend - especially if they lived next to each other. But it gave the closeness, yet the distance to create the plot.

 

I'm surprised Derek's mother didn't know he had repressed his memories to a point where he would black out. Even more so I was surprised that she either knew about the leather jacket and decided to bring the jacket out to trigger his memory back or she didn't know about it even after Mrs. C told her what happened. I'm pretty sure it wasn't the latter, or else I'm sure she wouldn't have placed the jacket into storage uncleaned, especially considering Derek had concealed it in the bottom of the garbage bag... in the bottom of the pile...

 

There are some areas in which the actions of Derek's mother seems slightly confusing, almost as if she knew she was trying to draw Derek's memories out while playing the innocent mother badgering questions here and there. It's as if she wanted him to remember slowly...

 

It just seems like there are several backstories that could be told in various perspectives - and I'm glad you left them open for your creative pursuits should you choose to. I'm really interested in a sequel, but I know you want to rewrite this story first before going into a sequel at all.

 

It was a pretty cool story to read. Thanks!

[Hamen Cheese]

Okay... so I just finished reading Charlie this afternoon. The comedic value was not lost on me, but Derek's narcissistic views on everything going around him made me not really like him. At first I felt like I wanted to smack him with a pair of gardening gloves and tell him to get a grip. Then I wanted to announce the obvious to Derek with a bullhorn... At the end, I didn't know what to really give him. The epilogue, told in third-person, made Derek's demeanor "fall back down to earth" a bit (so to speak) and allowed me to like him again.

 

I enjoyed the twist with Luke's death. I totally thought Luke was writing the letters to intimidate Travis and Charlie, but Jared? Now that was unexpected. There are some sections of the story where I didn't think Derek would be /that/ oblivious to the behaviors of his life-long best friend - especially if they lived next to each other. But it gave the closeness, yet the distance to create the plot.

 

I'm surprised Derek's mother didn't know he had repressed his memories to a point where he would black out. Even more so I was surprised that she either knew about the leather jacket and decided to bring the jacket out to trigger his memory back or she didn't know about it even after Mrs. C told her what happened. I'm pretty sure it wasn't the latter, or else I'm sure she wouldn't have placed the jacket into storage uncleaned, especially considering Derek had concealed it in the bottom of the garbage bag... in the bottom of the pile...

 

There are some areas in which the actions of Derek's mother seems slightly confusing, almost as if she knew she was trying to draw Derek's memories out while playing the innocent mother badgering questions here and there. It's as if she wanted him to remember slowly...

 

It just seems like there are several backstories that could be told in various perspectives - and I'm glad you left them open for your creative pursuits should you choose to. I'm really interested in a sequel, but I know you want to rewrite this story first before going into a sequel at all.

 

It was a pretty cool story to read. Thanks!

 

Hi fmd,

 

Let me just thank you first for reading my story from beginning to end and then taking the time to let me know how you felt about it. Feedback is always appreciated and is probably my strongest motivator in writing. So far that, thank you very much.

 

I'd just like to clarify that Derek's mom did not know that the jacket was related to that event so long ago. Blood, once all the oxygen has left it, turns black which can make it look somewhat like dirt. And it took many, many years before that jacket was found again. With time, it faded and was presumed to be an ordinary mess created by a boy who wanted to hide it from his parents to avoid being reprimanded. Also, it's not leather by the way. It's cloth/polyester.

 

Some situations involving Charlie *should* have been obvious to Derek. But if you know him well enough after reading his life, you'll understand why he did not see them. I won't point out the reason though. I'll just leave that to you.

 

Also, Derek's parents actually have their own story which may or may not get told. It's an even darker tale than "Charlie" as you can see from how Derek's dad turned out. With the crowd we have in GA, I'm not sure it's something people would want to read.

 

Cheers,

 

HC

[J.T.]

Derek's parents actually have their own story which may or may not get told. It's an even darker tale than "Charlie" as you can see from how Derek's dad turned out. With the crowd we have in GA, I'm not sure it's something people would want to read.

Heh... I read long series as much as possible, so even if it's back story from another perspective or even a "prequel" or what-not, I'd still be interested in reading it some time.

[harcallard]

I really enjoyed your story. I wish I knew if derrick indeed comes back to Charlie.. I guess you left that up to the imagination of the reader. Great Job

[Hamen Cheese]

I really enjoyed your story. I wish I knew if derrick indeed comes back to Charlie.. I guess you left that up to the imagination of the reader. Great Job

 

Yeah, that's something I'm leaving to you guys for now. Thanks for leaving a comment!

[Bobby2]

Charlie is one of the best stories I have read in a long time.

 

I preferred the ending in the epilogue to your first ending. I really dislike a sad ending and the thought that Charlie would just walk out to the street and get in the car with Travis after Derek died is just too much for me.

[Hamen Cheese]

Charlie is one of the best stories I have read in a long time.

 

I preferred the ending in the epilogue to your first ending. I really dislike a sad ending and the thought that Charlie would just walk out to the street and get in the car with Travis after Derek died is just too much for me.

 

Thanks for reading my story Bobby. And yeah, the scene in the alley was just the end of Part 4 but the Epilogue was always there planned from the beginning. I mean we can't end the story without seeing Dr. Baker one last time after all!

[ricky]

Wow, I just Marathoned it. Started on fats site and finished here. What a great page turner. And the ending was like, WTF? I honestly thought that Mikey loved Derick. Or perhaps Mikey loved Anderson. I was a little disappointed with the lack of resolution between Derick and Charlie because it was as if Charlie was destined to be alone. Derick "went off to start a new life" So its sorta stupid to wait for someone not coming back. Especially when there is a Travis who is obviously worth loving and who loves Charlie with his all.

 

Jared was a way big surprise. I loved the whacko shrink. I thought that was really well done. Resolution instead of alienation with his own mom would have been my choice as well. She was in a way a victim as well. He was the bread winner she would not have made enough to support them. Its a position many women find themselves in. I really expected Mrs C to come busting in with an injunction or for her [Derick mom] to whip out the divorce papers served in abstention showing him as abandoning her or perhaps a polygamist. I was really disappointed that he was out still walking around free and in power. At one point I expected that Derick would come home and find his mom with Mrs. C playing Lesby friends in the livingroom. That would have been an interesting twist.

 

The story was awesome! It kept me clicking "next chapter" nonstop until six this morning. Thanks!

[naaz]

Does anyone know when Adamagika II will surface?

[Hamen Cheese]

Wow, I just Marathoned it. Started on fats site and finished here. What a great page turner. And the ending was like, WTF? I honestly thought that Mikey loved Derick. Or perhaps Mikey loved Anderson. I was a little disappointed with the lack of resolution between Derick and Charlie because it was as if Charlie was destined to be alone. Derick "went off to start a new life" So its sorta stupid to wait for someone not coming back. Especially when there is a Travis who is obviously worth loving and who loves Charlie with his all.

 

Jared was a way big surprise. I loved the whacko shrink. I thought that was really well done. Resolution instead of alienation with his own mom would have been my choice as well. She was in a way a victim as well. He was the bread winner she would not have made enough to support them. Its a position many women find themselves in. I really expected Mrs C to come busting in with an injunction or for her [Derick mom] to whip out the divorce papers served in abstention showing him as abandoning her or perhaps a polygamist. I was really disappointed that he was out still walking around free and in power. At one point I expected that Derick would come home and find his mom with Mrs. C playing Lesby friends in the livingroom. That would have been an interesting twist.

 

The story was awesome! It kept me clicking "next chapter" nonstop until six this morning. Thanks!

 

Thank you (again) for reading my story, ricky! I'm glad you liked it. The ending can go so many ways with some things resolved and others not so much. I like to leave some things up to my readers (unless it is the very last book in a series). The future is there written between the lines.

 

And yeah, Dr. Baker was perhaps my most enjoyable character to write. I don't know if such shrinks exist but imagine if they did! Hehe.

 

Although a lot of things are possible for the future, I think Mrs. C and Mrs. H getting it on is most likely not one of them.

 

Does anyone know when Adamagika II will surface?

 

Hi naaz, I'm currently working on a mini-novel in the Adamagika universe meant to be read between the first and second book. I'm hoping to get it out within the year. I'm taking a different approach with this one preferring to write the whole story first so that it can go through the beta reading process (which will hopefully result in a better quality work). In contrast, A:TSW (and Charlie) was written weekly which resulted in a lot of grammatical or spelling errors that I had to go back through several times to correct (not that I'm doing that now anyway hehe).