[Dark] Editing TOIW

[Dark]

Hello, everyone!

 

I emailed my beta today and now I'm wondering what folks here think.

 

I'm editing https://www.gayauthors.org/story/dark/theoneiwant.  There are parts of it that still felt rough after posting it here the first time and I'm fixing those annoying POV shifts.  Seriously, they annoyed me before but I couldn't figure out how/why at the time.  Now I know how to fix them. Plus, there are some loose ends that need tied up.  For example, anyone want to know why Ben was crying in the bathroom after Ollie was born?  And what happened right after the birth?  I know they send preemies home much earlier than they did 20 or even 10 years ago, but I'm sure Shelly would need her mom around for a bit longer.  Or the S/M stuff I was dancing around before and what happened with Will to screw Ben up so completely. And of course I want to write about the wedding that never happened. That one, I know you want.  LOL

 

So, I'm thinking of breaking the story into three chunks about 75 each.

 

1.  The One He Wants, to include the first 9 chapters.

2.  The One He Needs, to include chapters 10-18.  I'm thinking to end that one with Ben's kidnapping...

3.  The One He Loves, to include the remaining posted chapters and some new content, to include Ollie's story and Ben/Rick's commitment  ceremony.

 

It seems weird now to be thinking about splitting up the story after having first gone from a dozen short stories into the single, complete story that it is now.  I'm just thinking that 200k seems awfully long.  If I want to publish this thing, which I'm totally thinking about now that GA has the new ebook system, I think it'll be better received if it's in smaller, more digestible chunks.

 

What do you guys think?

Edited May 13, 2013 by Dark