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I love it when you do this!    :worship:

 

I understand why Poor Man's Son took the longest, because I had the toughest time with that one, with deciding exactly what to do with the last fourth of it.  I'm not sure if Millennium was so fast because it had more cliffhangers (I try to post faster when those happen), or just because the storyline seemed to need it.

 

What can I say, I have a spreadsheet fetish.  :lmao:

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I do have a full life...really I do...and I had already read the last chapter of Flux six (yeah, six...I know) times...so after just getting back from picking up my yougest son and his girlfriend, what is the first thing I do? Yup...I read it again...and I tear up again...what the hell? I swear that was my last time reading it...maybe...well, probably.........

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OMG...I need an intervention...two more times...this time I teared up when Brad says he doesn't think but "knows" Robbie would be happy with Matt's decision...seriously...I need help

 

Hang in there for a couple of days. A new distraction is bound to turn up. :rolleyes:

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OMG...I need an intervention...two more times...this time I teared up when Brad says he doesn't think but "knows" Robbie would be happy with Matt's decision...seriously...I need help

Or just re-read Be Rad...

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Reply from Mark Arbour (author)

Thanks Miles! I think it was important for us to see things from Matt's perspective. There truly are two sides to a story. While Matt was a cretin in 9.11, he had some good reasons, as did Wade when he was less-than-honorable in this story. I think that in the end, their mutual flaws made it easier for them to forgive each other.

 

If it weren't for Wade's virtual melt-down of infatuation with Alex, they would have had a much harder time as a couple, because they wouldn't have really been 'equals'... Wade would have always had a bit of an upper hand because he was the wounded one. Now, that stigma is removed.

 

 

While in general I am satisfied with the apparent outcome of Flux reuniting Matt and Wade, I am still very disturbed by one issue. I will freely admit that this alternate CAP universe is purely fiction. However, most good fiction is written to shed light on our human and societal short-comings in the hope that we all learn to be better human beings and treat each other with the dignity and respect that we each deserve. I find our fearless leader's comment above reply to a review somewhat perplexing and vexing at the same time. In a family where they expect proper manners at the dinner table and are quite upset when they don't treat each other with proper respect, I can't understand how the Wade/Brad fuckfest/affair was so easily ignored, forgotten and forgiven. I think that alone should have equalized things between Matt and Wade. I understand that Matt felt guilty for the way that he treated Wade and that he genuinely wanted Wade to be happy. But a simple punch in the nose, a little thinking and a few days was enough to forgive Brad? Matt was forced to face the reality of what he did to his brother with the Tony affair. He finally got it. Brad (and Wade too) both harshly judged Matt for doing that. Then they turn around and do something even worse. Sure, technically Matt and Wade were broken up but both Brad and Wade knew how Matt felt. Their actions were far far worse than Matt's. Brad is for all intents and purposes, Matt's step-father. Is grief a good enough reason to forgive someone completely for basically royally fucking you over? Obviously, I don't think it is

 

I think both Bead and Wade need to have their aha moment when they realize just what they did to Matt. I do not believe that Matt can have forgiven either of them for what they did. He has rationalized it because of his own guilt over treating Wade like shit, losing him and also the Tony affair. It's not resolved. There needs to be a lightbulb moment for both Brad and Wade. I'm not sure of a good way to show Wade exactly how cruel and selfish his actions were and what a kind and forgiving person Matt is. I don't think he appreciates it. Perhaps by simply witnessing the plan I have for Brad would be enough. I was patiently waiting for a scene with a few family members present that would accomplish this. I think the best person to deliver it would be Darius with Will, Jj and Wade there. Darius would find out about the Brad/Wade fuckfest/affair and confront his father. He would ask him if it would be okay for Brad to fuck Zack when he broke up with Will. Would it be okay for him to have fucked Kristen after they broke up? Why wait until they broke up? Then, without really thinks about it, he would ask Brad, "Tell me how you have felt while you and Pop were broken up in university if Grand had been fisting and fucking Pop secretly instead of Neil. Tell me what the difference is. I need to understand how all this is supposed to work". I'd like someone to explain it to me too. I used to really admire Brad. No longer. He disgusts me.

 

The only character who even slightly has a clue is Will but being brought up in a family where selfishness rather than selflessness is the norm is causing him to go down the same path. We were not completely privy to JP and Stef's reactions to this but, no action or words on their part speaks volumes.

 

I have loved reading CAP until Flux. The plot developments and historical settings had been both heart-warming and gut-wrenching. The character development throughout has been inspiring. However, I think that Flux was so much like a bad soap opera, I am really not sure I want to continue reading. I have been a stalwart though mostly a quiet participant in this so far, reading the chapters as they came out and reading both the reviews and forum. I think I will stick to real life from now on. People are much more reasonable in real life.

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Reply from Mark Arbour (author)

Thanks Miles! I think it was important for us to see things from Matt's perspective. There truly are two sides to a story. While Matt was a cretin in 9.11, he had some good reasons, as did Wade when he was less-than-honorable in this story. I think that in the end, their mutual flaws made it easier for them to forgive each other.

 

If it weren't for Wade's virtual melt-down of infatuation with Alex, they would have had a much harder time as a couple, because they wouldn't have really been 'equals'... Wade would have always had a bit of an upper hand because he was the wounded one. Now, that stigma is removed.

 

 

While in general I am satisfied with the apparent outcome of Flux reuniting Matt and Wade, I am still very disturbed by one issue. I will freely admit that this alternate CAP universe is purely fiction. However, most good fiction is written to shed light on our human and societal short-comings in the hope that we all learn to be better human beings and treat each other with the dignity and respect that we each deserve. I find our fearless leader's comment above reply to a review somewhat perplexing and vexing at the same time. In a family where they expect proper manners at the dinner table and are quite upset when they don't treat each other with proper respect, I can't understand how the Wade/Brad fuckfest/affair was so easily ignored, forgotten and forgiven. I think that alone should have equalized things between Matt and Wade. I understand that Matt felt guilty for the way that he treated Wade and that he genuinely wanted Wade to be happy. But a simple punch in the nose, a little thinking and a few days was enough to forgive Brad? Matt was forced to face the reality of what he did to his brother with the Tony affair. He finally got it. Brad (and Wade too) both harshly judged Matt for doing that. Then they turn around and do something even worse. Sure, technically Matt and Wade were broken up but both Brad and Wade knew how Matt felt. Their actions were far far worse than Matt's. Brad is for all intents and purposes, Matt's step-father. Is grief a good enough reason to forgive someone completely for basically royally fucking you over? Obviously, I don't think it is

 

I think both Bead and Wade need to have their aha moment when they realize just what they did to Matt. I do not believe that Matt can have forgiven either of them for what they did. He has rationalized it because of his own guilt over treating Wade like shit, losing him and also the Tony affair. It's not resolved. There needs to be a lightbulb moment for both Brad and Wade. I'm not sure of a good way to show Wade exactly how cruel and selfish his actions were and what a kind and forgiving person Matt is. I don't think he appreciates it. Perhaps by simply witnessing the plan I have for Brad would be enough. I was patiently waiting for a scene with a few family members present that would accomplish this. I think the best person to deliver it would be Darius with Will, Jj and Wade there. Darius would find out about the Brad/Wade fuckfest/affair and confront his father. He would ask him if it would be okay for Brad to fuck Zack when he broke up with Will. Would it be okay for him to have fucked Kristen after they broke up? Why wait until they broke up? Then, without really thinks about it, he would ask Brad, "Tell me how you have felt while you and Pop were broken up in university if Grand had been fisting and fucking Pop secretly instead of Neil. Tell me what the difference is. I need to understand how all this is supposed to work". I'd like someone to explain it to me too. I used to really admire Brad. No longer. He disgusts me.

 

The only character who even slightly has a clue is Will but being brought up in a family where selfishness rather than selflessness is the norm is causing him to go down the same path. We were not completely privy to JP and Stef's reactions to this but, no action or words on their part speaks volumes.

 

I have loved reading CAP until Flux. The plot developments and historical settings had been both heart-warming and gut-wrenching. The character development throughout has been inspiring. However, I think that Flux was so much like a bad soap opera, I am really not sure I want to continue reading. I have been a stalwart though mostly a quiet participant in this so far, reading the chapters as they came out and reading both the reviews and forum. I think I will stick to real life from now on. People are much more reasonable in real life.

 

People are much more reasonable in real life...I wonder how a 'real life' person would have handled all the crap these guys have been through?  I think you're missing a very key point here, and that was what JP said to Will as they were walking through Claremont.  These people have been through hell since 9-11, and as JP noted, he made allowances for that.  That Matt and Wade can agree that they both hurt each other, without doing a forensic accounting as you're trying to do, and can put those issues behind them and move on says a lot about how they've grown as people.   I think it's a lot healthier to just acknowledge that you both fucked up, and move on, than trying to evaluate who was more wrong. 

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People are much more reasonable in real life...I wonder how a 'real life' person would have handled all the crap these guys have been through?  I think you're missing a very key point here, and that was what JP said to Will as they were walking through Claremont.  These people have been through hell since 9-11, and as JP noted, he made allowances for that.  That Matt and Wade can agree that they both hurt each other, without doing a forensic accounting as you're trying to do, and can put those issues behind them and move on says a lot about how they've grown as people.   I think it's a lot healthier to just acknowledge that you both fucked up, and move on, than trying to evaluate who was more wrong. 

 

The sad reality (can I say that about fiction??), the sad reality is that the forensic accounting of wrong doing is more than likely to be done by the parties involved but about their own conduct. Matt and Wade have forgiven each other but I'm not convinced they have forgiven themselves. Both Matt and Wade keep referring back to their own poor conduct. I think that's why Wade's (unfair) comment about hockey hit hard, Matt has yet to reconcile all his past transgressions.

 

As for JP comments, 9.11 was a major crisis and people suffered a lot during that time. We all made allowances. However JP would make allowances and expect you to learn from your mistakes. And that's not a bad lesson for us all.

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People are much more reasonable in real life...I wonder how a 'real life' person would have handled all the crap these guys have been through?  I think you're missing a very key point here, and that was what JP said to Will as they were walking through Claremont.  These people have been through hell since 9-11, and as JP noted, he made allowances for that.  That Matt and Wade can agree that they both hurt each other, without doing a forensic accounting as you're trying to do, and can put those issues behind them and move on says a lot about how they've grown as people.   I think it's a lot healthier to just acknowledge that you both fucked up, and move on, than trying to evaluate who was more wrong.

Here is real life. Real life is spending the last 5 years watching my husband of 28 years sink deeper and deeper into a dementia abyss caused by a vicious form of progressive MS with many other physical symptoms as well. All of which will just continue to progress. I will face being alone again around the age of 60 after having spent the vast majority of my adult life with him. Watching the kind and gentle soul I loved turn into a person I know longer recognize. Becoming a constant care-giver for the shell of what was once a spectacular human being. Dealing with the grieving process over a long period. It's hell!! I identified so completely with the process that they all went through. I understand completely Brad's anger at Robbie. Believe me, I had no idea what real anger was before. I understand the complete sense of abandonment. I understand the depth of their sorrow. I get it.

 

My comments were not driven by an intellectual need for "forensic accounting". I believe that our truest nature shines through in times of tremendous stress. We try to stay strong for our family and friends. We band together to support each other. We draw strength from each other. I have seen this over and over in "real life".

 

When I use my experience to shine a mirror on Brad's behaviour, all I see is a selfish man. A man not fit to be a parent. Not fit to be a friend. Not ever to be trusted. His anger at Robbie is a pathetic excuse for his betrayal. He knew what he was doing or it wouldn't have been done in secret.

 

I agree that forgiveness is a good thing but as with Will and Matt regarding the Tony affair, forgiveness has to be earned by the wrong-doer. Matt learned the depth of the betrayal he inflicted on Will. He is truly sorry for what he has done. Until Brad understands that, until he can truly feel the weight of his actions, how can he be forgiven? How can he forgive himself? He was the heir apparent in this clan. He is not fit for that position. Will has expressed his diminished opinion of both Brad and Wade. I am fully on board with his feelings. I would never truly trust either of them again. I would look elsewhere for examples to follow and would certainly never seek their guidance. Thankfully, he has JP if he needs someone.

 

I realize that this situation was used as a plot device to show Wade how selflessly Matt loves him. My opinion is that, without rehabilitating Brad, it was a bad choice. Again, in my opinion, he is now fatally flawed. Now I honestly wish Brad had been the one to die on 9/11 instead of Robbie. Robbie had his flaws too but I think that all the others in the family would have been able to rely on him. Not so with Brad.

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Here is real life. Real life is spending the last 5 years watching my husband of 28 years sink deeper and deeper into a dementia abyss caused by a vicious form of progressive MS with many other physical symptoms as well. All of which will just continue to progress. I will face being alone again around the age of 60 after having spent the vast majority of my adult life with him. Watching the kind and gentle soul I loved turn into a person I know longer recognize. Becoming a constant care-giver for the shell of what was once a spectacular human being. Dealing with the grieving process over a long period. It's hell!! I identified so completely with the process that they all went through. I understand completely Brad's anger at Robbie. Believe me, I had no idea what real anger was before. I understand the complete sense of abandonment. I understand the depth of their sorrow. I get it.

 

My comments were not driven by an intellectual need for "forensic accounting". I believe that our truest nature shines through in times of tremendous stress. We try to stay strong for our family and friends. We band together to support each other. We draw strength from each other. I have seen this over and over in "real life".

 

When I use my experience to shine a mirror on Brad's behaviour, all I see is a selfish man. A man not fit to be a parent. Not fit to be a friend. Not ever to be trusted. His anger at Robbie is a pathetic excuse for his betrayal. He knew what he was doing or it wouldn't have been done in secret.

 

I agree that forgiveness is a good thing but as with Will and Matt regarding the Tony affair, forgiveness has to be earned by the wrong-doer. Matt learned the depth of the betrayal he inflicted on Will. He is truly sorry for what he has done. Until Brad understands that, until he can truly feel the weight of his actions, how can he be forgiven? How can he forgive himself? He was the heir apparent in this clan. He is not fit for that position. Will has expressed his diminished opinion of both Brad and Wade. I am fully on board with his feelings. I would never truly trust either of them again. I would look elsewhere for examples to follow and would certainly never seek their guidance. Thankfully, he has JP if he needs someone.

 

I realize that this situation was used as a plot device to show Wade how selflessly Matt loves him. My opinion is that, without rehabilitating Brad, it was a bad choice. Again, in my opinion, he is now fatally flawed. Now I honestly wish Brad had been the one to die on 9/11 instead of Robbie. Robbie had his flaws too but I think that all the others in the family would have been able to rely on him. Not so with Brad.

I have Always been a reader. Because of reading, I taught myself to print and write before Grade 1 ...my first day in our one room schoolhouse, we all, in row one, which was Grade 1(each row was a grade up to Grade 8) had to go up and print our name on the blackboard..I wrote mine...upside down..because I was left handed and taught myself that way. You would have thought I was a lunatic judging by the laughter and derision of the students and the reaction from the teacher.My point is that I have always gotten the power of the written word and what it can do for or to us. At the worst times in our lives, written words can rescue us and ease or let us forget our pain, at least for a while. I kind of promised myself that I would not get too involved in the forum because, while generally a great thing, it can be really tricky to navigate at times. But reading all that you have posted makes me want to reach out to you and tell you that I understand where you are coming from. I can't imagine the day to day pain you have been going through and the pain you still have in front of you. My read is that CAP has helped you escape for a while so you can handle what you need to and these characters are extremely important to you.I really get that and I hope that they could continue to do that for you. Even though it is fiction, what you feel is very real. People who live in glass houses....well I am one of those people, so I can't fault you for feeling strongly about your issue with Brad and Wade. To be honest, I had great difficulty with that same issue and it caused me a lot of pain as well and reading about your proposed scene with Darius and the rest...I can see why that would have redeemed Brad in your eyes. Flux was a kind of hell for me too..and at times I wanted to walk away just like you do now...but against all my preconceived odds...I got the happy ending that I needed and as you said in your review..."Finally". It sounds like you, from the beginning, have been an avid reader and fan of Cap, just like me. The idea of giving that up is a difficult one to contemplate, even with all the anger, confusion and frustration it can generate, it is a part of our lives. Flux WAS the most difficult story of them all for me and I suspect you, to handle...and because of 911, I would say that that was understandable, if excruciating at times. We don't know what the future will bring in CAP...but who knows...maybe Brad and Matt can redeem themselves in your eyes. I am not trying to convince you of anything or tell you your feelings are wrong...but remember that Wade and Brad both decided that even if Matt gave them a green light, the sexual part of their relationship was over, because they recognized how wrong and unfair their betrayal was, and how much it had hurt Matt. I felt at that point, that Brad was finally recognizing on every level that Matt was his son. The fog of 911 was lifting. Matt's seemingly too easy forgiveness of Brad and Wade was unsettling for me as well, but try to keep in mind that Matt was a bit of a mess himself and needed to try to move on at that point...putting Wade's happiness ahead of his own was a watershed moment in Matt's development and growth, and while it may not have seemed logical or right, it was actually very smart...Matt never gave up on Wade and his gesture in his forgiveness of what they did to him ended up serving him well. In a wierd way I think it gave him something to be proud of himself for, at a time when he was beating himself up over his past behaviors that cost him Wade in the first place. And look where Mark has them now...in a monogamous relationship and concentrating on their family!!!! As I said,I support your right to feel how you do. It sounds like Brad was special to you at one time(as he was for me...I would have married him lol) and that is why you have such feelings now. I think, if Cap has been helping you to deal with getting an escape from a heartwrenching situation...that you should give Streak a chance to see if Brad can be redeemed in your eyes, for your sake and no one elses. I don't know if this helps you at all...I just wanted to reach out in support and let you know that someone gets it.....Cheers....Gary

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