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Nice to see a couple of new characters introduced in the prologue. Should make for some interesting drama down the road 0:)

 

It was nice to see the Collingwood players (especially the one that engaged Jim so much) were out there to play the game first and let the fact that Jim was know out was a non problem with the players.

 

I guess I still don't understand why Charlie is so apprehensive of Jim in the shower. I know that he is immersed in trying to go to school and play football so he must be dedicating his full attention at doing both to his best ability. Maybe the sideshow is too much of a distraction to him. But then again, maybe even Charlie doesn't know why he is bolting from the showers when naked Jim arrives.

 

Dave, with the revelation that that his attitude changed with the arrival of Tony, that is a puzzler. I know better than to state why, but I can guess one of two reasons. With Tony showing up, maybe Dave has feelings for him that haven't been revealed and now that Jim is with Tony, he is jealous. So he doesn't hate Jim for being gay, but hates that he is on the scene. The other might be that Dave is just  homophobic. He realizes that he is in the minority on the team and if he expresses his true feelings of Jim and Tony he might find himself out of a job. Maybe homophobic is too strong of a word. There are lots of people that don't like gay people but based on not being exposed to them and not personally educated on them either. I'm sure I'm wrong on both guesses, but hey, we have to guess, don't we?

 

Great start to a story that I will be following closely. Thanks for sharing Graeme :)

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  • Site Administrator

As I keep telling my boys: everyone's different.

 

We know that Charlie's a virgin, and that when he had the chance to lose his virginity, he couldn't do it. He claims to be pathologically shy, which could mean that when it comes to anything to do with sex, he withdraws. Knowing that there's someone in the shower who might be sexually attracted to him could be enough to make him uncomfortable. Given how shy he is on sexual matters, that could explain why he leaves when Jim enters. It's an extreme response, but we're all different and we don't all react in the same way.

 

Of course, there are also other possibilities as to why he wants to leave when a stark naked, good looking, gay guy enters the room... 0:) Where was Charlie holding his towel when he left the shower? The story doesn't say....

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Dave, with the revelation that that his attitude changed with the arrival of Tony, that is a puzzler. I know better than to state why, but I can guess one of two reasons.

 

Great start to a story that I will be following closely. Thanks for sharing Graeme :)

 

I agree wholeheartedly with the latter part.

 

Your guesses as to Dave's behavior are good, but I can think of more possibilities.

 

First: Dave could be gay but oblivious or at least so much in denial, he's blocked it off completely. To have Tony as an openly gay guy at the club, and being nice, popular and accepted - and even openly saying he's hoping for a boyfriend, may have popped the seal on the lid holding this down. Jim coming out then blew the lid off and now Dave has nightmares and he cannot be in the shower with Jim - because he's afraid of how he'll react (not that he aware this is the reason, he just feels terrifed of the idea).

 

the other possibility could tie in with him being gay or be totally unrelated: the nightmare of being on the floor in a shower: does this hint at a traumatic experience in Dave's past? And what was the trauma ? It's easy to say rape, but it could be more subtle than that.

 

Oh well as usual we'll have to wait for Graeme to reveal the plot (while doing his best to confuse us) :P

Edited by Timothy M.
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  • Site Administrator

I just wanted to say that initially the story will be posting at a rate of a chapter every two weeks. This is so I can try to keep a regular routine -- the writing is going slower than I had hoped. Once I'm far enough ahead, I'll switch to a weekly posting cycle, but that won't be for awhile yet.

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I just wanted to say that initially the story will be posting at a rate of a chapter every two weeks. This is so I can try to keep a regular routine -- the writing is going slower than I had hoped. Once I'm far enough ahead, I'll switch to a weekly posting cycle, but that won't be for awhile yet.

 

Says the crack dealer to his clients. "Sorry, but you must spread out your fixes" ;) just joking! I'm glad it's coming out so soon. :)

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  • Site Administrator

The alternative was to post weekly and run the risk of having to stop partway through because I'd cleared my backlog of edited chapters and I wasn't ready to post the next one. I prefer to keep a regular posting schedule if I can, so the readers will know when to look for a new chapter. If I have to take a break part way through, I'll try to make sure it's at a logical place. That's what I did with Heart of The Tree when it was originally posted, having a break between parts 2 and 3.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I hate it when I make a mistake in reviews and can't correct it. Oh well at least you knew what I meant, when I said:

at least he's 18 yeras old, so his dad can force him home, can he ? = at least Ty's 18 years old, so his dad cannot force him home, can he ?

 

And I did realize that Ty's dad can do a lot of damage and destabilize Ty, just by being there. For once Ty's anger may be useful, if he manages to tell his dad exactly what he thinks of him. That man needs to be punched - mentally and physically. :pissed:

 

Please let Deon and Ryan think of texting Ty and Jim and maybe Peter (the coach) about this problem, before the situation explodes.

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  • Site Administrator

So I'm watching a game between Essendon and Collingwood (gawd the guys are good looking) and I think I see there is some actual rules (did I mention how cute the guys are). They are at half time and Essendon is up 49-18. (The cuter team in my opinion).

 

Actually, not sure if you can answer these questions Graeme...

 

It appears the ball has to be 'passed' by a hand pass (punching the ball) or by kicking. Sometimes when the offensive team kicks, and a forward catches it close to the goal, they seem to get a free kick. How come? When there is an open field tackle, sometime the ref calls for a free kick for one team, other times it is a toss up, why are some one way and others the other?

 

My last question, and this is going back 30 years, the goal umps used to wore like a white suit jacket and a white hat with black pants and carried two flags. They would run up and stand at attention and flick the flags :P When did they get rid of those guys? I liked them :D

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Leopard Spots is promising to be as interesting as Leopard Skin Cover. I like the new characters, well expect for Ty's father. He reminds me a little too much of Aiden's father in New Brother.   

 

Thank you for writing such meaningful stories.

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  • Site Administrator

So I'm watching a game between Essendon and Collingwood (gawd the guys are good looking) and I think I see there is some actual rules (did I mention how cute the guys are). They are at half time and Essendon is up 49-18. (The cuter team in my opinion).

Essendon ending up winning easily :) I'm happy because it puts Geelong clearly in the top four.... The top eight make the finals series, but the grand final is almost always won by a team from the top four.

 

Both teams have good looking guys, though 0:)

 

 

Actually, not sure if you can answer these questions Graeme...

I'll do my best, but I'm very much an amateur on the rules (despite having a brother-in-law and a nephew who are both football umpires).

 

 

It appears the ball has to be 'passed' by a hand pass (punching the ball) or by kicking. Sometimes when the offensive team kicks, and a forward catches it close to the goal, they seem to get a free kick. How come? When there is an open field tackle, sometime the ref calls for a free kick for one team, other times it is a toss up, why are some one way and others the other?

If a kick travels at least 15m and is caught by a player on the full without any other players touching the ball, it's called a mark. That gives the person a free kick. Often, the players will 'play on' rather than take their time because there are times that speed and momentum are more important than being able to take a kick without opposition.

 

There are also various times when a free kick is awarded as a penalty. These including holding a player who doesn't have the ball, pushing a player in the back, and tackles that are too high (ie. above the shoulders). There are other situations where a free kick can be awarded, but those are the most common ones.

 

When a pack forms around the ball, the umpire will generally wait until they're sure that the ball isn't going to get out, and if so they'll intervened and do a ball-up (either a bounce or a toss up -- the latter being when the ground isn't conducive to a good bounce, such as if it's too soft from mud, etc). The times when a free kick is awarded instead is generally because someone has been held when they didn't have the ball, or if they were pushed in the back. There's also two other cases -- holding the ball or dropping the ball -- but they occur less often. The first is if the ball is being held too long when they've had a chance to get rid of it and haven't (this is the most contested one, because it's subjective as to whether the player has had a chance to get rid of it, or if the ball has been held to the player so they couldn't get rid of it), and the second is if they didn't get rid of the ball through either a kick or a handball (the punching of the ball you saw).

 

 

My last question, and this is going back 30 years, the goal umps used to wore like a white suit jacket and a white hat with black pants and carried two flags. They would run up and stand at attention and flick the flags :P When did they get rid of those guys? I liked them :D

The goal umpires are still there, but they don't always wear white (just like the field umpires don't wear white any more). I'm sure there was a good reason to change the uniform, but I don't know exactly why. One of the local games I watched last weekend had umpires in white, but the second game had umpires in coloured uniforms with sponsor names (yes, there are companies that sponsor the umpires). :)

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  • 2 weeks later...
Quote

Reply from Graeme (author)

Neil is just a poor, misunderstand, stalkerish, obsessive, paranoid, oppressed teenager. Nothing to worry about....

This reply to Canuk's review evoked several reactions from me:

First I laughed :lol: (Nothing to worry about, yeah right !)

Then I got worried :pinch: (Damn Neil is even worse than I thought)

Finally I felt sick :puke: (As if Jim doesn't have enough on his plate right now)

Now I just want to shake Neil or whatever is necessary to make him see sense :unsure2::fight::no::unsure2::glomp::no::unsure2:  :pissed::no:  :hug::unsure2::facepalm:

Edited by Timothy M.
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  • 4 weeks later...

Nice try, Graeme, but we all know Jim wouldn't do something like that. You don't have to be a psychologist to realize Dave has been molested in the showers, and he has suppressed the memory and refuses to remember who really did it.

The reason Jim appears in his dream is because he fits the mould: big, strong football player who is into guys and is in the showers with Dave (which Tony isn't).

Dave isn't in the closet, it's much worse than that, and I hope Charlie is clever enough to realize Jim isn't part of the problem. After all, Dave hasn't been in the club long enough for anything like that to happen, and if it was so recent, he wouldn't recall it as a nightmare.

I'm wondering if Dave might need help right now (calling Peter or the team medic might be a good idea).

Hmm now that I'm thinking it over, you may not be trying to trick us, since it's obvious Dave is projecting an old deep-seated fear onto the convenient person of a gay Jim.

Edited by Timothy M.
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  • Site Administrator

Thanks, Timothy. What you've said is certainly plausible. Clarifying one point, though it's not explicit in the story, Dave has been with the club for a few years (at least one because he's not one of the rookies). He's twenty-three, so it's probable he's been with the Leopards for between three and five years.

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Oh right, my mistake. It was the other guys who haven't been with the club long enough to know Dave well.

 

But I'm still maintaining my position of Jim being incapable of molesting anyone. Now I'm wondering if the problem isn't the arrival of Tony, but Ty starting to call Jim DAD. But this possibility is even more disturbing. :o

Edited by Timothy M.
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Chapter 5 was complex with all the different story threads, but I was particularly happy to read about Deon's decision to go with Tony to the airport. I'm hoping they can have a nice chat on the way there, and that Deon will be OK with seeing his dad again. Could go either way - emotional reunited or repeat rejection, and both are potentially worrisome.

And I'll be happy if stalker Neil is never heard from again !

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You don't have to be a psychologist to realize Dave has been molested in the showers, and he has suppressed the memory and refuses to remember who really did it.

 

 

That was my thought exactly when Dave started having nightmares a couple of chapters ago. And I completely agree that he is projecting those memories on Jim, whose coming out and presence in the showers were likely the triggers for the nightmares.

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Chapter 5 was great (no surprise) You really demonstrated Dave's teammates looking out for him. The speculation on his sexuality gets a little wordy though and intellectualizes the moment. Usually the story moves through issues with active dialogue and the flow is broken up a bit here. The content is great but they don't quite sound like teammates talking but instead voicing their thoughts. You're writing is strongest when you show what they are feeling rather than having them simply articulate it. Hope this is useful - ignore it if it isn't.

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  • Site Administrator

That's useful :) Thanks for the comments. I've been told before that sometimes I get a little wordy, so it's a useful reminder about something I need to keep an eye on.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Quote

Reply from Graeme (author)

Unfortunately, yes, Dave's a mess. I'll leave it to you to decide if there's a quick and easy solution to his problems.

Brrr, that reply to my review made me shudder, Graeme. I can certainly think of one way out for Dave which would be permanent, but I hoping he hasn't ! :o:no:

Peter's insistence on having Dave participate as much as possible is a good one and I'll cross my fingers for Dave holding on till he gets to see the psychologist. It's going to be a long week. :/

Edited by Timothy M.
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  • 2 weeks later...

So after a stalker free chapter, you take revenge and we once again plunge into the mess of Neil's life and issues. But you actually managed to have me feel a bit of hope for him. And Clarissa was positively charming and honest, in spite of her bossy ways. She can be a good friend and support, if Neil manages to trust her.

I'm surprised at the socially competent way Neil managed to act at the game, but I guess he's intelligent enough to work out what to do. But interacting with people certainly doesn't come naturally to him. He's slightly autistic that way - and this includes his tendency to view the world and his goals from his own perspective only.

Edited by Timothy M.
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  • Site Administrator

Thank you! I had been wondering if anyone would spot that Neil has autistic traits. That doesn't mean he's autistic (I have autistic traits, too, and I'm definitely not autistic), but he certainly has a number of things in common with someone who does (and who probably hasn't been diagnosed).

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  • 2 weeks later...

Interesting chapter, Graeme. I was glad to see that Clarissa wants to be Neil's friend now. Her way of convincing Doug and Liam to leave Neil alone was harsh but obviously necessary. But at least Liam has now seen the truth about how Neil is and I expect he'll convince Doug to leave him alone. The scene with the teacher accusing Neil of homophobia was hilarious.

I'd forgotten that Todd already had a career, but I still hope he'll chose to work with kids in his spare time, once his football playing days are over. Maybe he could stay on at the club as an assistant coach or something?

Edited by Timothy M.
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  • 1 month later...

You know I'm surprised this forum does not see more activity. The first story of the Leopard series got way more attention in the forum, yet this story is a lot more complex, with more story threads and several characters coming into focus at various times. This should give more scope for discussion, but somehow no one takes up the challenge.

I like the idea people are putting forth in their reviews, but I wish they would also post them over here, where it's possible to discuss them and like them. Why don't you remind them to come over here too?

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