Clueless Camping by Timothy M

[ColumbusGuy]

Oh my goodness!  That is SO hilarious Tim!  A classic example of using subliminal--and not so subliminal--messages to sell products! 

 

Why do I have a sudden yearning for orange juice?!  And you can guarantee I just decided to have a couple bratwurst for lunch today!!

Edited October 15, 2014 by ColumbusGuy

[Timothy M.]

Ooops...

 

I think I fail the dirty mind test or is that pass the test?

 

I'm not sure either, but I'm glad you had the same reaction as me.

I was walking along and just saw it out of the corner of my eye. I did the classic double take and stood there staring, before I grabbed my camera, while desperately trying not to giggle like mad. And people were just walking past or buying food without any reaction at all !!

Why do I have a sudden yearning for orange juice?! 

 

Why do I have a sudden yearning for something else?!

[ColumbusGuy]

Well, I confess to having a fairly consistent yearning for that--if I'm thinking of the same thing! 

I loved your comic link Bucket--I laughed my ass off--but still, I'd never eat any of that stuff--I can't stand any type of fish--my food if it isn't vegetables or fruit, is required to have legs of various numbers!

 

Incidentally, if you think you have a dirty mind, there is a test for that!  Back in the 90s when I was in a group called the SCA which was into medieval stuff, there was a computer printed test going around to delve into your sexual and social history--I found a link to the 21st Century online version--there is even one with twice the number of quiestions!

 

Purity Test

[ColumbusGuy]

Damn, I haven't taken that test since the early 90s--sadly, I'm only a few points less pure--36%--but I still failed. Yay!  I have my late s.o. to thank for that--I miss him, even with all the problems he had coping with life.

[Bucket1]

Damn, I haven't taken that test since the early 90s--sadly, I'm only a few points less pure--36%--but I still failed. Yay!  I have my late s.o. to thank for that--I miss him, even with all the problems he had coping with life.

 

Is it wrong to use the purity test to plan your weekend?

[Kitt]

That would depend on the open-mindedness of your S.O.

Edited October 18, 2014 by Kitt

[ColumbusGuy]

Is it wrong to use the purity test to plan your weekend?

I'd have to say that would be a 'No!' 

As they say, 'been there, done that!'

[Bucket1]

I'd have to say that would be a 'No!' 

As they say, 'been there, done that!'

 

And you scored 36% - I scored 39% without trying 

 

Sad news is that I did the 400 point version and scored 47% - I got more pure doing a different test - if I try the 1500 point test will I get my virginity back?

[ColumbusGuy]

I'm gonna have to check the other versions, I only did the 100...the original paper one I took was 250.  The only thing that I've done since my late s.o. involved only me; while I love my cat--it's purely on a platonic level.

[Timothy M.]

Wow, I'm gone for less than 24 hours and strange things happen on the forum, lol. The purity discussion and test made me laugh, and I'm almost ashamed to admit I scored 47% on the 100 question version.

However, the first one was the hardest to answer. Dates are such an American thing, I don't think I've been on anything I'd call a date. And certainly not a blind date.

[ColumbusGuy]

Drat, out of likes today.

Tim, you've confused me now--dates are an American thing?  I consider a date going out for a meal, or a movie, or any activity spent together--preferably just the two of you with no other friends around.  If it results in physical intimacy is not important--it's getting to know the potential partner better.

What do Danes, or Europeans do to acquaint themselves with their future partners?  Draw numbers out of a hat?  Arranged betrothals?  Go bicycling in the countryside?   There was a story I read once which set itself in Denmark (Amsterdam?) and the tourists found a park where guys could hang out and make out in public...is that true?

[Timothy M.]

Well, I don't know what young Danes do today, maybe they do date. But it's not something I've heard about.

I've never invited anyone on a date or been invited on one (well once, but it was by someone I didn't want to be with). Usually I'd hook up with someone at a party, or flirt with them during study breaks (at high school or uni). Going out for a meal or a movie would happen after we became a couple, not as part of getting to know each other better. Getting to know each other happened by visiting each other at home, talking over coffee and cakes or a beer and snacks, or while being in a group of friends.

Most people here meet via education (high school or college/uni) or work or friends. Plus there was (is) no tradition for boys to invite girls out or at least not in an official way, where they make arrangements and pay for everything. Normally, if you went out for a movie or meal or drink with someone, you shared the bill. Of course this also means there is no obligation for the girl (or boy) to put out, worse luck. LOL.

But don't listen to me, I've never been mainstream or into all the social stuff or peer pressure to conform to a certain behavior. I'm a nerd and happily so, and I haven't been available on the dating scene for more than 20 years.

 

PS Amsterdam is in Holland - but you can probably find parks in Copenhagen where guys can make out more or less openly.

Edited October 18, 2014 by Timothy M.

[ColumbusGuy]

Very interesting Tim...a bit old-fashioned, it just seems the initial meeting is the same.  I wonder if 'dating' had something to do with the acceptance of automobiles here?  It let younger people have a lot more options for activities.  In a country where a license is still not a given, I can see things being handled much more traditionally. 

 

I don't know what sort of stroke I had typing the bit about Amsterdam.   It was a case of my thoughts running ahead of my fingers.  Sorry to insult Denmark by implying Amsterdam was part of it.   Not been to Europe at all, much as I'd like to go--except France--but I've been a medieval history/lit fan for my whole life.  My deeper interest is back in Roman times though, since I feel Christianity ruined the world.

 

I have very seldom dated, meeting people much as you did...I tried blind-dating a coupeltimes via personal ads in newspapers, but usually it was one date of polite conversation and nothing further.  Nerds with glasses aren't popular here in the States and never were despite their other qualities.  Fortunately(?) for me, I had good friends for companionship if not sex, and the partners I had were met unexpectedly like my last s.o.  I wonder if 'not being mainstream' refers to more than your dating history--forgive me asking that--but I don't fit into that either in the sense that while I'm gay, I don't identify with the big-city image; I define myself more as an educated and honest man rather than as being gay first and foremost.  I think of myself as a guy who just happens to prefer guys as parners, and this sets me apart from our gay community here, which is obsessed with living the city lifestyle.

 

Ignore all that--I'm rambling.  Irrelevant anyway since I don't consider going out with other guys anymore, since Kevin killed himself in '07...I wouldn't find someone at my age (didn't have much luck before either), and I have my friends for emotional support. 

 

47%?  How did I get to be sluttier than you?  Something's wrong here!  I don't mean that badly--I just thought I led a pretty sheltered and isolated life!   Maybe being in the SCA with a few more liberal people helped me after all?  It did teach me how to give very good massages, and let me kiss a couple pretty hot guys.

[AC Benus]

Not to change the subject, BUT (lol), The Amazing Race just visited Copenhagen and I would like you - Tim - to write in a visit to Ida Davidsen for the visitors! Come on, do. It could be fun as maybe a place for Chris, Isa and Russel to get to know one another, especially as it will be the first chance for any of them to get acquainted (and you'd want to do away from the pressures of Evan and Jacob). 

 

hint, hint

[Timothy M.]

Very interesting Tim...a bit old-fashioned, it just seems the initial meeting is the same. 

 

47%?  How did I get to be sluttier than you?  Something's wrong here! 

 

LOL I thought dating was old-fashioned ! The whole concept of guy invites girl (or guy) out, and proms, and making out in cars. It's like 'Grease' from the fifties.   I have to admit reading contemporary fiction in which dating plays such a huge part is rather quaint - and having to write prompt stories where it's the main theme is a real challenge.

 

Hmm I think I'll have to write a scene between Russ and Evan, where Evan tells about being invited on dates by Chris, and Russ gets all upset because Jacob doesn't do that. Should highlight the differences between US and DK traditions nicely.

 

I may be a slut in writing - but not in real life. That's called compensating, you know.

Edited October 19, 2014 by Timothy M.

[Timothy M.]

Not to change the subject, BUT (lol), The Amazing Race just visited Copenhagen and I would like you - Tim - to write in a visit to Ida Davidsen for the visitors! Come on, do.

 

Well eating Ida Davidsen smørrebrød is certainly a tourist thing which would be quite likely to happen when you have US relatives visiting, so why not. I'll put it in the story notes and try to work it in. Thanks for the idea, AC.

 

However, what about Kristin, she hasn't met Chris either ? and why don't you want Evan and Jacob to be there ?

 

Oh and I had to google the Amazing Race. Sounds fun even though I hate reality shows and never watch them. 

Edited October 19, 2014 by Timothy M.

[Bucket1]

LOL I thought dating was old-fashioned ! The whole concept of guy invites girl (or guy) out, and proms, and making out in cars. It's like 'Grease' from the fifties.   I have to admit reading contemporary fiction in which dating plays such a huge part is rather quaint - and having to write prompt stories where it's the main theme is a real challenge.

 

Hmm I think I'll have to write a scene between Russ and Evan, where Evan tells about being invited on dates by Chris, and Russ gets all upset because Jacob doesn't do that. Should highlight the differences between US and DK traditions nicely.

 

I may be a slut in writing - but not in real life. That's called compensating, you know.

 

Wasn't the camping trip in fact a very long date? There was the "getting to know you" bit, the "i like this guy" bit, the ummm... physical bit (the purity test may be affecting my posts  )

 

Maybe Evan will have had more dates but Russ will win the prize for the longest - although I guess that means that Russ "put out" on a first date. Shameful 

[Kitt]

However, what about Kristin, she hasn't met Chris either ? and why don't you want Evan and Jacob to be there ? 

Silly Author - That's a no brainer - He forgot Kristin was coming to Denmark as well, and Evan and Jacob can't be there because it makes it soooooo much harder for things like comparing how alike or different the twins are in some areas and for momma to tell embarrassing stories about when they were little! If they were present the conversations would be interspersed with "Don't tell him that!" and all sorts of things that would potentially change the subject and end the important part of the conversation.

[Timothy M.]

now I'm even more confused, did you perhaps mean that Isa should go to lunch with the boyfriends (Chris and Jaob) without the twins (Evan and Russ) ?

 

And you may see the camping as one long date, but the whole point is Jacob would never call it that - not even the part where he bought Russ smørrebrød in Thisted.

 

PS I'm out of likes for today (a first for me), so I'll have to like your posts tomorrow.

Edited October 19, 2014 by Timothy M.

[Bucket1]

After completely the extremely long 1500 question purity test (why I ask you WHY!) I have found that my purity is skyrocketing to a massive 68.8%.

 

The average score is 76.8% so I guess I don't feel too virginal

[Bucket1]

Silly Author - That's a no brainer - He forgot Kristin was coming to Denmark as well, and Evan and Jacob can't be there because it makes it soooooo much harder for things like comparing how alike or different the twins are in some areas and for momma to tell embarrassing stories about when they were little! If they were present the conversations would be interspersed with "Don't tell him that!" and all sorts of things that would potentially change the subject and end the important part of the conversation.

 

Mmmm... mothers must be different in Jersey - I have never known a mother to show any restraint when discussing embarrassing stories about their kids. I think it's more likely that the stories would be told if the boys are there - mothers are like that 

[Timothy M.]

Yes WHY on earth did you do that - and who can even think up 1500 questions about purity ?!

 

and yes Isa may enjoy telling fun stories of the twins more if they are present, lol.

[JohnAR]

Tim,

One needs to pass a purity test result limit to participate in your forum? ;-) And off I go ...

J.A.R.

[Timothy M.]

Tim,

One needs to pass a purity test result limit to participate in your forum? ;-) And off I go ...

J.A.R.

 

certainly not - I'd prefer if you failed it, lol. But no matter the result you're welcome in the forum. The whole issue came up as a reaction to this post https://www.gayauthors.org/forums/topic/39413-clueless-camping-by-timothy-m/?p=487078

which may be a better test of innocence of mind than the 1500 question test, lol.

[Kitt]

Mmmm... mothers must be different in Jersey - I have never known a mother to show any restraint when discussing embarrassing stories about their kids. I think it's more likely that the stories would be told if the boys are there - mothers are like that 

LOL quite true on both counts. I have been told I am the coolest mom on the block, which I guess is a little like the smartest kid in remedial tutoring classes, but the kids my daughter grew up with seem to enjoy my company.