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ColumbusGuy

Jay & Miles by ColumbusGuy

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Jay & Miles

 

What's scarier for a teen than falling in love..? Having to walk away from it.

 

Two Midwestern boys navigate a world when being Gay was the same as being 'invisible,' but luckily Fate steps in and offers chance encounters that can pave a road to happiness. Trucks, cars, pizza places and high school of the 1970s set the background as Miles and Jay build something significant, and discover that they are both worthy of that scary thing called love.

 

--Text courtesy of AC Benus, because I jumped the gun and was lame. :)

Edited by ColumbusGuy
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I enjoyed the first part very much, but I couldn't get past the phone sex... to me it seemed rather, unnatural. Sorry.

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Chapter 7 is posted!

 

I'm sorry Sasha--the phone sex snuck it's way in--but it isn't the focus of the story...maybe you could skip over it and continue?  I'd really appreciate your input on the rest of it!

 

Just as an aside, I actually had a call as a teen like that...it was a bit embarrassing, but fun to listen to--I never would have done such a thing in real life! :)  Another time, I had another call, but I answered that one in my parents' bedroom--needless to say, nothing happened with that one!

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Well, I like where the series of flash pieces is going. I think there is lots of subtle stuff for readers to pick up on, and I hope Jay can help Miles see himself as deserving of a shot at love. 

 

Cheers!  

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Here's a question for my readers: are my chapters too long?  Is there too much detail and it seems boring?

 

I'm wondering because I have read some stories here where a lot more seems to be going on in shorter chapters, and I like their work...but is it their writing, or the storyline?  Timothy M, who has just started doing prompts, has turned out some I really like, but they are shorter...but I know with him, it's his style I like as well as his characters.

 

I always thought people who said 'write what you know' were nuts--I'd never been anywhere exciting or done major stuff...but I'm enjoying writing Jay & Miles, and I hope my few readers are too.  It bothers me a bit that while a lot of people may have read it, not many have said much, and no one has offered suggestions or input here other than Sasha and AC.

 

I was pleased to see that I have 6 Followers now--and I promise not to let you down, guys!

 

Maybe there should be a contest of some sort: try and spot what events in each chapter are true?  I assure you there is at least one true thing in each chapter! :o

 

Ideas?

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I for one like the details, and also I think with a story happening back in history you need them, because we cannot immediately imagine the setting, as with a contemporary story. I didn't find the chapters too long at all. But they have been very action packed, so maybe we need a slow chapter next. Just something calm, which will let us connect to Jay and Miles and not sit at the edge of the seat with worry - or excitement, lol.

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Chapter 9 is fairly calm, Tim. :)  Hope you like it, and thanks for the Danish translations!

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Yes, I did, and you're welcome. :) 

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Here's a question for my readers: are my chapters too long?  Is there too much detail and it seems boring?

 

I'm wondering because I have read some stories here where a lot more seems to be going on in shorter chapters, and I like their work...but is it their writing, or the storyline?  Timothy M, who has just started doing prompts, has turned out some I really like, but they are shorter...but I know with him, it's his style I like as well as his characters.

 

I always thought people who said 'write what you know' were nuts--I'd never been anywhere exciting or done major stuff...but I'm enjoying writing Jay & Miles, and I hope my few readers are too.  It bothers me a bit that while a lot of people may have read it, not many have said much, and no one has offered suggestions or input here other than Sasha and AC.

 

As a relatively new fan, my answer would be no to your first two questions. The length should be determined by what you have to say...there should be no arbitrary or optimum length. If it ends up saying more than you want, then look at paring it down. The details are so important to the feel the story has and so far I have seen no evidence of it being overdone and I certainly have not experienced any boredom in this story. I appreciate so many writers on this site but they are not comparable. All you should compare yours to is your previous work and whether you like your new stuff better. That's not to say you can't learn from other writers though.

I think that "writing what you know" means infusing your stories with memories , feelings and details that you have an intimate knowledge of and it appears to me that you do that as I have commented on in my reviews. I just read your last chapter and more than loved it. The insights you provided us through Jay's family were perfect because we get to know Jay better this way. I felt Jay's anticipation of the day to come as if it was my own. You did a great job in making me crave the next chapter. Just saying.....Cheers...Gary

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Still speculating about Danish boy's names starting with J, and of course I should have said this one: Jens.

In fact, den danske Jens was often used as a synonym for a young soldier. :boy:

And the surname Jensen (meaning son of Jens) was once a very common surname in Denmark - and probably is still the most common, even if a lot of people get rid of it in favor of a more distinct name. 

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Maybe Jay's real name will be revealed in the upcoming rest of Saturday--have to see what he thinks of the idea.:)

 

Jay is fun to write...I think he is the person most of us would be proud to know...Miles on the other hand, is tougher.  He feels like he's on the outside looking in at something wonderful to have, but can't picture being his; he definitely needs someone like Jay to be his 'key' to the outside world he is so far only observing.  Fear is what is keeping him isolated--everything in life he has really wanted, has been elusive at best due to his vision problems and distant parents.  He knows the concept of love, knows he wants it, but fears it will evaporate or be snatched away if he tries for it.

 

AC mentioned he has connections through Kurt and knowing that there are others like him out there...but the 'out there' is the key to my mind: Miles is so used to looking in at a world he isn't part of, that he hasn't yet grasped the concept of being included.  His sense of being an observer alone has gone on for years, since elementary school 5th grade or so...a few days of knowing that others are like him is too new to have a deep impact yet.

 

Is that enough plausibility for him to try what he did when Jay didn't show up on time or even see him at school on Friday?  Jay was the tenuous hope that things might change...so I can see where the old feelings would surge back stronger if he thought he'd lost Jay...being an observer, it isn't in his mind set to act, but to react.

 

Comments?  This helps me to figure out what I need to do to fully form Miles into more than just the me I was back in the 70s.

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I find what you are saying very interesting. Your summation of Miles makes a lot of sense and explains some of his actions. I do not consider him that different from a lot of gay teens, especially from that time period. We all had that fear and feeling of isolation to a certain degree and it really was the time of latchkey kids where both parents working was becoming the norm. I would be careful of putting Miles into the emotionally stunted category...he definitely suffers from depression of some sort...again a side effect of being gay in a lot of instances. He has found a cure of sorts to that fear and feeling of isolation with Jay so I think it would be realistic and believable for us to see his outlook steadily improve...too much angst might not ring true now that you have established what a great and genuine guy Jay is. I think it is time to imbue his character with strength...let us see that he has moved past the idea of suicide as an option...show us a Miles who has the ability to have faith in Jay and show us that he has grown beyond the Miles who questions everything good that happens. I also think a key here to having him act instead of react is to have him make an ethical decision about the phone sex going on with Kurt. To continue it, the believable scenario would be crushing guilt on Mile's part...and if Jay becomes aware I think it would cause Jay to move on. Just some thoughts because you requested comments. I love where you have taken it so far....I'll shut up now...cheers...Gary 

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Thanks Gary--I just found this--it does't seem that I get notices if the group is updated...I hope the chapters since this are working out, I unconsciously took in your comments it seems. :)

 

There is much more to come in the story, and I hope the boys will see lots of happiness and personal growth...unless they starve to death before I get them to the dinner date!

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Thanks Gary--I just found this--it does't seem that I get notices if the group is updated...I hope the chapters since this are working out, I unconsciously took in your comments it seems. :)

 

There is much more to come in the story, and I hope the boys will see lots of happiness and personal growth...unless they starve to death before I get them to the dinner date!

LOL..Young love doesn;t need mundane things like food when they are filled to the brim with emotions...well, at least until after their first sex marathon :o ...and yeah...we seem to be on the same wavelength...thanks for the lovely response to my review of the last chapter...I think we are a good team :yes: Cheers...Gary

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I think Miles had a break through in the most recent chapter, and I loved the image of prison walls. Very strong and apt. I hope Jay will be the trumpet which makes the walls crumble forever.

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Jay's working on Mikey's walls...if he has any say at all, they'll be gone forever.  Now comes the trial by fire when he meets Jay's family!

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Jay's working on Mikey's walls...if he has any say at all, they'll be gone forever.  Now comes the trial by fire when he meets Jay's family!

Woo hoo! Bring them on! I am excited....

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Holy Cow!  Any doubts I might have had about how great GA people are, and one beta-reader in particular, is...were completely wiped away by this quote from an email Gary sent to me this afternoon:

 

When I first woke up and read this I thought ...oh no! I went to the posting and was so relieved to see that you had taken out the "and I stood up" before you posted it...lol...I was totally freaked out. I dreamt all night(actually morning ) about the chapter, worried that I had missed  something because I was so tired.

 

The man stayed up late waiting for me to send him my draft, though I'd told him not to, and he worried that he missed something?  Turns out I caught that bit at the last minute!  Every single suggestion he has given me in the chapters he's beta-ed I've used--they were all perfect and fit my characters' voices just as I imagined them.

 

Am I awesomely lucky to have Gary as my beta?  Heck yeah!

 

And Tim, the time difference between Columbus and Kobenhavn makes things a bit easier for my late-night writing binges, but he too takes time out for my questions and silly translation mistakes, and he could be devoting that time to his own work....

 

And AC, his story Dignity is probably what sparked me to begin writing here--it was far more than the average erotica I had associated with the gay community before finding GA--and he extended the first hand in friendship and encouragement to someone who had only tried semi-historical fiction before, though there was an 'inner me' who longed for a chance to express himself.

 

No one at GA will know the person who, for nigh on to twenty years now, has sparked my dormant interest in doing any writing at all--I'd given up after college when my amateur efforts kept getting returned from real publishers--I had no computer back then, and don't think that online fiction sites existed--without her, you'd be staring at blank pages where my work should have been.  Maria, you know who you are, but probably not what a huge impact your friendship and drive to get me working with you has meant.  Without you, my scribblings would be much less interesting, if they existed at all.

 

I'm going to eat now before I start crying.  I love you all.

Edited by ColumbusGuy
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I just told AC last night how glad I was that I was beta reading for you...that I almost said no when first asked ( I was unsure about taking on the responsibility) and how right the decision to do it turned out to be. You just validated that decision for me. As I said before...I think we make a good team. You are a very talented writer with very good instincts with a drive for quality and to think that I am any kind of help to you is very rewarding...I love that you are so receptive and appreciative of others efforts to assist, as you just showed in your post. Thank you very much CG, for what you just said. You just made my day. Cheers, buddy....Gary

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And AC, his story Dignity is probably what sparked me to begin writing here--it was far more than the average erotica I had associated with the gay community before finding GA--and he extended the first hand in friendship and encouragement to someone who had only tried semi-historical fiction before, though there was an 'inner me' who longed for a chance to express himself.

 

Thanks for the shout-out, but your talent, skill and drive are all you, buddy. Kiss kiss

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And Tim, the time difference between Columbus and Kobenhavn makes things a bit easier for my late-night writing binges, but he too takes time out for my questions and silly translation mistakes, and he could be devoting that time to his own work....

 

that's fine, I'll just blame you when people start prodding me about the CC twins or form a Rob mob in the forum. :lol:

 

I usually translate from Danish to English, so it was fun going the other way.

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You're a hoot, Tim!  I'll be among those calling for more and pelting fleeing senators in the forum with tomatoes for not doing their job. :)

I ca't take all the blame though--you have a job, meals, and what--2-3 hours sleep a night?  Plenty of time left to write...you are so much appreciated for helping me out, and you've answered one of my questions by saying your own works went the other way  D to E; intellectually I knew that, but since so many Europeans speak English, it didn't really register with me, and you write it so well!  If you use a program, I'd love to see it since almost all the ones I've seen suck, although IMTranslator is pretty good so far.

 

Must work on next chapter now before the mobs show up at MY door!

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Well in fact both of the stories I'm posting here are written directly in English, which is actually better than translating. I have one or two very long stories written in Danish, which I hope to adapt for GA at some point in the future, I started translating one of them, but it's hard work.

 

Anyway, right now I'm busy with the next two prompt chapters. Thank God for my beta (AC) who manages to point out not just my spelling / grammar mistakes but also when the story veers off into not-quite-believable directions. Hope Gary helps you the same way. :)

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Gary is doing that for me as well...along with moral support which I also get from you and AC, and those who have helped me with tech stuff here.

 

Any one got a nick name that would fit Jay?  Or does he need one?

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