"The Best Four Years of Adam Becker" by oat327

[oat327]

Thanks. I really wanted to make their relationship different than a lot of the stories I’ve read online, specifically because those always rang so untrue to me too: two guys, who tend to be on the same page, suffering only external conflict to their perfect relationship. Kevin and Becker are really the opposite, insofar as their relationship is messy, and they’re constantly struggling to get on the same page, and every conflict comes without any of the other characters even realizing it’s happening. Which, to me, feels so much more realistic.

 

Kevin’s really a fun character to write, because he’s very blunt and very quippy. And he has such a good sense of who he is, who he wants to be, and how he needs to get there. Which I think is contrasted with Becker, who is defined by his fear and inaction and insecurity. So I think, in that sense, Kevin is the best thing that could happen to Becker. If Becker will let himself be pushed.

 

I really hate that I can’t give spoilers, but the story is definitely building to a crescendo—the status quo is very much on the verge of falling apart. And I hope everyone will be intrigued (and, hopefully, satisfied) by how that affects Kevin and Becker.

[methodwriter85]

Another guy that looks like how I envision Kevin O'Malley in my mind...James Paxton (son of the late Bill) from the show Eyewitness:

 

 

I can completely buy this guy being a smart, philosophical stoner/drug dealer at a rich kid's college. For some reason they always seem to have pale skin and intense blue eyes.

 

Anyway, what I like about the relationship is that it's really the only kind of thing that could happen in college. In a normal life, someone like Kevin, and someone like Becker, are not going to run into each other. But college is this kind of bag filled with all these people you would never otherwise meet, and it equalizes everybody, at least on the surface. Super-rich kids socialize with people from Kevin's kind of background, and vice versa. That's one of the beautiful things about someone's college years.

[oat327]

Oh wow, this is actually pretty close to how I imagined him. Kevin’s definitely pale—he’s Irish-American—and I always pictured him as very attractive but in a somewhat unconventional way, kind of that scruffy stonerness to him, yeah.

 

It's an interesting relationship: it's been a lot of fun to explore the two of them. I started writing this story in 2013, when college was in the much more recent past for me, and I think writing their relationship now, from a very different place in my life, has made it much deeper and more resonant than it was in earlier drafts. Because it's true: they are so different, and college is definitely an equalizer. These are two people whose lives would never have crossed. And I think Kevin is a nice foil for Becker because of where he comes from: he's scrappy, impulsive, and assertive, with a lived wisdom and a deep desire to understand who he is and who he wants to be. And that's really the opposite of Becker, who is defined by his self-doubt, his compulsive compartmentalization, and his complete inability to take action. (In many ways, Kevin is exactly what Becker needs.)

That said, their contrasting backgrounds are something that's explored more not in the next chapter, but the one after that: Thanksgiving 2007. Get excited!

[methodwriter85]

On 1/26/2018 at 1:06 AM, oat327 said:

That said, their contrasting backgrounds are something that's explored more not in the next chapter, but the one after that: Thanksgiving 2007. Get excited!

 

I really liked seeing Becker in Kevin's world. I also felt really bad for Kevin when he was detailing his fantasy about being accepted by Becker's parents. Yeah, not gonna happen.

[Defiance19]

15 minutes ago, methodwriter85 said:

 

I really liked seeing Becker in Kevin's world. I also felt really bad for Kevin when he was detailing his fantasy about being accepted by Becker's parents. Yeah, not gonna happen.

right? ☹️

[oat327]

I know… It’s a poignant moment. I obviously wrote that line, but even I thought there was a lot of room for interpretation: whether Kevin is being hopeful for the future, or if in the back of his mind he knows that kind of thing will never happen. Maybe a little of both. I think Kevin especially is realizing how limiting their relationship is when it’s kept a secret.

[methodwriter85]

On 2/17/2018 at 9:03 PM, oat327 said:

I know… It’s a poignant moment. I obviously wrote that line, but even I thought there was a lot of room for interpretation: whether Kevin is being hopeful for the future, or if in the back of his mind he knows that kind of thing will never happen. Maybe a little of both. I think Kevin especially is realizing how limiting their relationship is when it’s kept a secret.

 

It's not even really the gay thing. The Beckers are the consummate social climbers. (My guess is that Dad was a rising lawyer who convinced a rich girl's daddy to let them marry despite the fact that he came from some humdrum middle class family, and thus a true power couple was born.) I can't see them being okay with Kevin and his trashy roots even if he's pretty determined to do better because the Beckers are supposed to go up, not down. (So what if it makes the dad look completely hypocritical given that he wasn't born with a silver spoon in his mouth, either.)

 

But yeah, you get hints here and there about what a shitty situation Kevin came from, but I like that we didn't see that in full color until here, because it does change how we view Kevin.

 

And it makes so much sense why Kevin got all in once they DTRed- his dad was the one person he knew loved him unconditionally, and somewhere deep down he really wants someone to fill that void. That's why Kevin got intense, and why he's finding it increasingly hard to pretend that this kid isn't the love of his life.

[oat327]

On 2/21/2018 at 1:29 AM, methodwriter85 said:

 

It's not even really the gay thing. The Beckers are the consummate social climbers. (My guess is that Dad was a rising lawyer who convinced a rich girl's daddy to let them marry despite the fact that he came from some humdrum middle class family, and thus a true power couple was born.) I can't see them being okay with Kevin and his trashy roots even if he's pretty determined to do better because the Beckers are supposed to go up, not down. (So what if it makes the dad look completely hypocritical given that he wasn't born with a silver spoon in his mouth, either.)

 

But yeah, you get hints here and there about what a shitty situation Kevin came from, but I like that we didn't see that in full color until here, because it does change how we view Kevin.

 

And it makes so much sense why Kevin got all in once they DTRed- his dad was the one person he knew loved him unconditionally, and somewhere deep down he really wants someone to fill that void. That's why Kevin got intense, and why he's finding it increasingly hard to pretend that this kid isn't the love of his life.

 

 

You’re not far off on the Beckers: they’re, without a doubt, social climbers and very, very ambitious. (Though you have them reversed: his mom grew up in working-class New Jersey, and his dad grew up more comfortable in Napa. We meet both families over the next two Christmases.) But they’re not bad people. I honestly don’t know what they’d think of Kevin, to be entirely honest, if they knew his backstory. (That’s not me being evasive; I haven’t written a meeting scene yet.) But Becker has a wondrous capacity for compartmentalization and recasting the truth in a more flattering light, and Kevin’s well-read and articulate; it’s likely his parents will be somewhat misled on Kevin, at least the first time they meet. There’s a line at the end of the chapter where Becker glosses over his trip as “hanging out with a friend and his brother at a nice house in Moreno Valley,” because Kevin’s past is definitely something Becker would spin lies about.
Kevin’s backstory is interesting, though, because it wasn’t initially part of his character; I needed to explain why he was a drug dealer, and his whole past crystalized very quickly.

His relationship with his dad I love, though, because you’re right: his dad was definitely the only unconditional love in his life, and poor Kevin just spends so much time trying to step into his shoes. But I think, as Kevin gets older, he’s learning not to just emulate his dad, but to avoid his pitfalls, like getting trapped in miserable relationships out of a sense of duty. We’re not in Kevin’s POV, but I think that he and Becker have a similar struggle right now: reconciling who they’re supposed to be, with who they are and what will make them happy. Though Kevin is definitely further along on that road.
 

[methodwriter85]

Quote

Haha, my guilty pleasure is early-2000s music, so I love this. Very period-appropriate. I can almost picture Becker listening to this during the inevitable breakup-sad-music phase.

 

In honor of that, I'm going to post a playlist of my favorite period-appropriate breakup songs.

 

Becker's Break-up Playlist

 

1.) "Your Ex-Lover is Dead" by Stars

 

2.) "Everything We Had" by The Academy Is

 

3.) "Sway" by The Perishers

 

4.) "Nothing Like You And I" by the Perishers

 

5.) "If You Leave" by Nada Surf

 

6.) "Boys Don't Cry" by Grant Lee Phillips

 

7.) "You Could Be Happy" by Snow Patrol

 

8.) "Cry Me A River" by Justin Timberlake

 

10.) "Foundations" by Kate Nash

 

11.) "Smile" by Lily Allen

 

12.) "White Flag" by Dido

 

13.) "White Houses" by Vanessa Carlton

 

14.) "We Belong Together" by Mariah Carey

 

15.) "Cool" by Gwen Stefani

 

Just embrace the feels, man.

[oat327]

19 hours ago, methodwriter85 said:

 

In honor of that, I'm going to post a playlist of my favorite period-appropriate breakup songs.

 

Becker's Break-up Playlist

 

1.) "Your Ex-Lover is Dead" by Stars

 

2.) "Everything We Had" by The Academy Is

 

3.) "Sway" by The Perishers

 

4.) "Nothing Like You And I" by the Perishers

 

5.) "If You Leave" by Nada Surf

 

6.) "Boys Don't Cry" by Grant Lee Phillips

 

7.) "You Could Be Happy" by Snow Patrol

 

8.) "Cry Me A River" by Justin Timberlake

 

10.) "Foundations" by Kate Nash

 

11.) "Smile" by Lily Allen

 

12.) "White Flag" by Dido

 

13.) "White Houses" by Vanessa Carlton

 

14.) "We Belong Together" by Mariah Carey

 

15.) "Cool" by Gwen Stefani

 

Just embrace the feels, man.

 

 

Love. This.

[FSELL]

Howdy, I came across the story and jumped in at Summer.. have started to read through the back catalogue and also chapter one of Kevin’s story. I’ve found Adam so frustrating at times, but I also understand him too, not apologising for it just I understand it. But I think he needs to summon the courage and come clean about Kevin and him, get his ass on a plane to Paris and take his man back. Particularly away from Carver (Alex) I took an immediate dislike to the guy, 

Yes his dad is a political guy R, but there is enough movement for « moderate » people to get up, and with having a gay son who’s not running down the streets sprinkling glitter and unicorns everywhere, it could be great political capital for him, so no down side, but like everything Adam has to get them onside and allow them time to cont to terms with the decision or realisation he’s known for years.

 

am relay enjoying the story, can’t wait for the next chapter (hint hint) have a great 4 July and thanks again, John 

[oat327]

Glad you’re enjoying it (and glad someone jumped ahead with my little mid-story summary, because I was so afraid the 300,000 words would alienate people from joining in.)

 

Becker’s definitely a frustrating character. Largely because *he’s* the one forcing himself to stay in the closet… his family, fraternity, friends—all of them would completely accept him. And he knows that. Of course, it’s a slightly different time; this story is currently in late 2007—a year before California, of all places, voted to ban gay marriage—but I wanted this to be someone whose struggle is completely in their head. And his refusal to take action has, in a lot of ways, cost him his relationship… which is another tough pill to swallow.

 

But anyway, glad you’re liking it—new chapter should be (fairly) soon!

[methodwriter85]

I keep picturing Tye Sheridan as Becker. Thoughts?

 

All the stuff about the meaning of the name "Peter" really makes me want to see how the other family members would react to Becker's insistence on not being called Peter at college. Justine clearly seems uncomfortable with it.

 

Edited July 13, 2018 by methodwriter85

[oat327]

1 hour ago, methodwriter85 said:

I keep picturing Tye Sheridan as Becker. Thoughts?

 

All the stuff about the meaning of the name "Peter" really makes me want to see how the other family members would react to Becker's insistence on not being called Peter at college. Justine clearly seems uncomfortable with it.

 

 

Oh yeah, that I could definitely see. You're good at these! There's no description of Becker in "Best Four Years" (because it's from his point of view) but there's one in "Against the World"--and that fits him to a T.

 

And yeah, Justine's uncomfortable with him going by Adam because she's known him as Peter his whole life. So far, she's the only one that's been exposed to it first-hand, so she's had the most visible reaction, but slowly the walls are breaking down, so we'll see more of this. It's been mentioned but not really explored yet, but there's meaning in the name Adam too; Becker's named after his maternal grandfather Peter and his paternal grandfather Adam. We get to meet the rest of the extended Becker clan at some point too.

 

[methodwriter85]

I think cinematically. And Tye Sheridan is a very cute but not cookie-cutter handsome twink who looks damn good in a lacoste polo shirt, so yeah. My other thought is Nick Robinson, but I can't see him pulling off the frat boy look right. He seems almost too broody.

 

The name thing has been an interesting metaphor of Becker's 3 competing identities- Adam being the guy he wants to be, Becker being the guy he believes he is, and Peter being the guy he's only willing to be if he's trapped into family gatherings. So far Kevin seems to be the only one who gets this.

[oat327]

Yeah, I think Kevin gets Becker better than anyone—he sees how much Becker compartmentalizes himself. (Because Kevin does this too, in a different way.) I definitely agree with the identity: I always saw it as Peter being the person he felt obligated to be; Adam the person he wanted to be; Becker the person he actually is. It’s fun as the walls progressively come down.

[methodwriter85]

As a lark I decided to re-read the New York City chapter. My random thoughts:

 

1.) Becker worked at the now-defunct White Flint Mall as a J. Crew Boy. I've never been there but I belong to a Facebook group called Dead Malls Enthusiasts and White Flint is a popular subject there. Particularly because Lord and Taylor sued the mall owners for letting it die because it was per their contract supposed to be maintained as a class A mall until 2042. I guess it would have been too on-the-nose to have him work at Abecrombie? LOL.

 

2.)  I loved the description of being in downtown New York City. I've been there twice- once for a visit in 2002 and once in 2014, and it really just feels like such an amazing and beautiful assault on the senses. It's just everyone and everything, coming all at once. There's no other way to describe what it feels like to be there.

 

3.) I loved the detail that Kevin was busking. Kevin just does all the weird, random things and it works.

 

4.) And the name stuff again. Becker doesn't want Kevin to call him Adam, because Adam is the perfect straight frat boy with perfect straight frat buddies and Kevin's not allowed to be part of that. Man, playing shrink with Becker is fun. Given that he doesn't improve over the fall '07 semester, I don't really fault Kevin for dumping his (admittedly perky) ass.

 

5.) Carver being a tool was funny, as well as the harping about the Lacoste polos. I wonder if Becker made the switch to Vineyard Vines? That seems to be what the preppy type are wearing now.

 

6.) I kind of loved getting to know more about Senator Becker. It's pretty interesting. He seems like he's in the vein of Scott Walker- someone who just kind of accidentally fell into politics and had the good looks/charm to really run with it. But he also seems to have Joe Biden's ambitious streak. Man. Still a shame about Beau. I know Joe really wanted that political dynasty. The "spare" is a total mess, and the daughter doesn't seem like she could give a shit.

 

7.) This doesn't apply to that chapter but I really, really hope that Becker's break-up with Kevin forces him to wake up and realize you can't spend your entire life trying to please everybody and being as inoffensive as possible. I wonder if Becker even realizes how much he has in common with his "big" Chris in that sense.

[oat327]

23 hours ago, methodwriter85 said:

As a lark I decided to re-read the New York City chapter. My random thoughts:

 

1.) Becker worked at the now-defunct White Flint Mall as a J. Crew Boy. I've never been there but I belong to a Facebook group called Dead Malls Enthusiasts and White Flint is a popular subject there. Particularly because Lord and Taylor sued the mall owners for letting it die because it was per their contract supposed to be maintained as a class A mall until 2042. I guess it would have been too on-the-nose to have him work at Abecrombie? LOL.

 

2.)  I loved the description of being in downtown New York City. I've been there twice- once for a visit in 2002 and once in 2014, and it really just feels like such an amazing and beautiful assault on the senses. It's just everyone and everything, coming all at once. There's no other way to describe what it feels like to be there.

 

3.) I loved the detail that Kevin was busking. Kevin just does all the weird, random things and it works.

 

4.) And the name stuff again. Becker doesn't want Kevin to call him Adam, because Adam is the perfect straight frat boy with perfect straight frat buddies and Kevin's not allowed to be part of that. Man, playing shrink with Becker is fun. Given that he doesn't improve over the fall '07 semester, I don't really fault Kevin for dumping his (admittedly perky) ass.

  

5.) Carver being a tool was funny, as well as the harping about the Lacoste polos. I wonder if Becker made the switch to Vineyard Vines? That seems to be what the preppy type are wearing now.

 

6.) I kind of loved getting to know more about Senator Becker. It's pretty interesting. He seems like he's in the vein of Scott Walker- someone who just kind of accidentally fell into politics and had the good looks/charm to really run with it. But he also seems to have Joe Biden's ambitious streak. Man. Still a shame about Beau. I know Joe really wanted that political dynasty. The "spare" is a total mess, and the daughter doesn't seem like she could give a shit.

 

7.) This doesn't apply to that chapter but I really, really hope that Becker's break-up with Kevin forces him to wake up and realize you can't spend your entire life trying to please everybody and being as inoffensive as possible. I wonder if Becker even realizes how much he has in common with his "big" Chris in that sense.

 

1) I’ve actually never been to White Flint either, despite living in DC for nearly a decade, but the whole Lord & Taylor saga was covered in the news here for a while. (I think it’s still ongoing.) The Beckers’ hometown of Hamlet, Maryland, is fictional but it’d be roughly somewhere between Potomac and Bethesda—so White Flint Mall would have been in 2007 the local mall.

 

2) New York’s funny. I make that trip fairly often, and I’ve always been struck by the chaos of the area around Penn Station—especially when you’re coming off a 3.5-hour train after a full day of work and it’s past dinnertime and you’re in kind of an irritable mood anyway. Becker’s of course younger, so this would probably be his first time coming up to the city alone.

 

3/4/7) I actually was scared I was signaling the breakup too hard because I felt like it was the natural end of Kevin’s arc that began with the New York chapter. Kevin, who grew up so poor, got talked into taking the internship by Becker and finally got a taste of what it was like to essentially be rich: working in finance in New York with a boyfriend who comes from a prominent family… and he realized how hollow it all was. Kevin realized how much more comfortable he was being himself… busking with his trumpet, living in Harlem, surrounded by artistic and idealistic people, and being openly gay. Rather than being a straight finance bro from family money, which is what he pretended to be. I think he realized Becker was going to keep insisting Kevin be someone he’s not.

 

5) Carver was fun to write in this chapter—his criticism of Becker was harsh but it wasn’t completely wrong. I’d imagine Becker sticks with preppy—probably stumbling over to Vineyard Vines at some point.

 

6) I think David Becker’s the kind of guy who gets off on public adulation—like, he loved being a professional athlete and when that career ended, he found he loved being a politician for the same reasons. And, like you said, he had the charm to really excel with it and, now that he’s involved, is thinking about the dynasty. But so is his wife: I always pictured Catherine as the real brains behind the operation. It hasn’t been really addressed in the story—and it’s not really relevant, because it’s not their story—but I feel they function very much as a team.

Edited July 16, 2018 by oat327

[FSELL]

I’m just gonna put it out there, suffering from Becker withdrawal, have a great day y’all 

[oat327]

There’s more coming soon, I promise! The bulk of the next chapter is written already... just filling in holes and editing a bit.

[AugustusWaters]

Withdrawal strikes again!

Edited January 31, 2019 by AugustusWaters

[oat327]

On 1/30/2019 at 1:19 AM, AugustusWaters said:

Withdrawal strikes again!

 

Working on it, I promise! Hopefully a new chapter of “Against the World” (the Kevin spin-off) coming this weekend, more Becker to follow!

[AugustusWaters]

Yeeeeeet!

[oat327]

On 2/1/2019 at 12:59 AM, AugustusWaters said:

Yeeeeeet!

 

As promised: Chapter 5 of "Against the World."

 

Next chapter of Becker shouldn't be too far behind!

[AugustusWaters]

As always, it was amazing. Also as always, it makes me want more. 

 

P.s. I’m posting this now, but I read it about 2.6 seconds after you posted it.