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Does that mean I need to hurry up with reviewing before we hit the end? I'm terribly behind, but I have managed to read the chapters so far.

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Does that mean I need to hurry up with reviewing before we hit the end? I'm terribly behind, but I have managed to read the chapters so far.

 

You have plenty of time! Part 2 will not be totally different, hopefully it all flows together nicely. I'm just changing up how I write the story. Instead of doing the "day to day" lives. like.. school, practice, school, practice, school, practice, weekend, school... etc. As I think that would become boring fast. I decided to hit the highlights of Jackson's senior year with Part 2.

 

So.. it isn't going to be too bad, I don't think. It may take a few parts in part 2 before y'all start settling in to where I'm going and how I'm going about doing it...

Edited by Krista
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Okay! I just posted Chapter 20. The last chapter of part one. I wanted to say all of this in a chapter end-note, but I ran out of space very easily and had to be brief in order to get the chapter to publish without errors.

 

Let's see if I can remember - I promised Steve that I would come up with my own chapter end note. He provided me one as sort of, "joke," to post and I told him that I was going to post it since I loved his version so much. Luckily for him, he's a bit of a windbag and rambled far too long for it to ever fit. By the time I edited what he said down, all the fun bits were removed and all that left was the boring parts.

 

With that said, I plan to write more on this story. I already have some of the next part written. Steve made me write that part so that I could show him where I was going before he, "begrudgingly," as he said, let me finish with Chapter 20 before moving along with the rest. So it got his approval and hopefully by next week I'll be posting the next part and working on what is to follow that one.

 

I don't plan on jumping around too much. So you won't lose a lot of time between where the story is now.. and the end of his graduation and beyond. It may get a lot more spread out after that, if I still have things I wish to cover.

 

So, this is where you come in!

 

I know there are unresolved issues left over from part one. Some are obvious to me and will be covered, but some of them may not be. So be sure to elaborate on those loose ends and unresolved issues you want me to elaborate on! Also, what would y'all want to see covered with his senior year? What milestones? I already have a few of the biggers ones planned, but I want to get feedback from you guys. I think if there is some interaction there will be less confusion - and I kind of want to discuss the story with y'all outside of Story reviews.

 

To Sum Up:

 

1. Tell me what Loose ends/unresolved issues (I know there are lots) you are worried about. I hope with the next few parts I don't leave many of those left hanging so we can move along.

 

2. What do you want to see featured within this story with these characters?

 

---

 

I hope to surprise you a ton though! :D Hope you guys stick with me as I threw a bit of a curve ball at you towards the ending of part one with the way I am discussing doing this story moving forward.

 

Thanks for reading! :)

Edited by Krista

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Do what you have to do. It's definitely a point where some things have tied off and the new part of the adventure appears to be starting. I am not ready to let go of the characters yet, but it's your baby to raise. :)

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Do what you have to do. It's definitely a point where some things have tied off and the new part of the adventure appears to be starting. I am not ready to let go of the characters yet, but it's your baby to raise. :)

 

Well good thing you won't have to! We're still following Jackson as he maneuvers through his senior year with Luke and the gang. :D Hopefully I'm not changing "that much.." it may not even be that dramatic of a situation. I just wanted to give a heads-up so there isn't a.. "what just happened here?" sort of moment. 

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Yeah, I was wondering exactly what was happening with Ally and the apology. It had seemed you were building things up as if it would hold out longer, get worse before it gets better. While I was surprised, it was a pleasant thing. As the story has progressed, you've shown us incrementally the more mature version of high schoolers that people don't often write in their stories, but a demographic that exists nonetheless. I like that you are breaking that expectation, and showing us teens who can be smart, talented, have fun, have strong emotions that get them into difficult situations, and still be good people and good friends at the end of the day. I wouldn't worry about there being too little drama - I like that it isnt even remotely in the same reality as soap opera, and there is plenty here that will maintain drive in the story.

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Yeah, I was wondering exactly what was happening with Ally and the apology. It had seemed you were building things up as if it would hold out longer, get worse before it gets better. While I was surprised, it was a pleasant thing. As the story has progressed, you've shown us incrementally the more mature version of high schoolers that people don't often write in their stories, but a demographic that exists nonetheless. I like that you are breaking that expectation, and showing us teens who can be smart, talented, have fun, have strong emotions that get them into difficult situations, and still be good people and good friends at the end of the day. I wouldn't worry about there being too little drama - I like that it isnt even remotely in the same reality as soap opera, and there is plenty here that will maintain drive in the story.

 

Love that! :D

 

I'm 'trying' to stay as quiet as I can on details. Don't want to be spoiler-y! I have to keep my evil author street cred up, can't be too giving with the information and let y'all suffer in suspense. :P At least I'm not too big on Cliffhangers.. :D

 

So Ally is a part for concern. She is definitely a loose end that needs worked through as I left her part in the story a bit... brief and unexplained, definitely.

Edited by Krista

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I understand Jackson and his parents desire for a scholarship but aren't his parents successful? His mother runs a large business that supported the church school and his father is a doctor.  Surely they could afford most tuition provided it's not an Ivy League school.  Also I'd think despite his swimming and academic abilities a three day suspension would be a disqualifier especially in your senior year. 

 

Also, if Jackson's parents were longtime friends with Luke's why didn't they meet beforehand? Especially considering they're are their closest neighbors and church friends.  You may not see the kids often but surely they wouldn't be foreign. 

 

Aside from those two notes I loved the story!

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I understand Jackson and his parents desire for a scholarship but aren't his parents successful? His mother runs a large business that supported the church school and his father is a doctor.  Surely they could afford most tuition provided it's not an Ivy League school.  Also I'd think despite his swimming and academic abilities a three day suspension would be a disqualifier especially in your senior year. 

 

Also, if Jackson's parents were longtime friends with Luke's why didn't they meet beforehand? Especially considering they're are their closest neighbors and church friends.  You may not see the kids often but surely they wouldn't be foreign. 

 

Aside from those two notes I loved the story!

 

I'm not sure if a simple three day suspension for something like that would warrant any more sanctions against him as far as his athletics go. His school doesn't have a sponsored and backed team, so his swimming really isn't affected by what he does at school unless his coach decided to punish him for something like that too. As long as it isn't drug or legal related most scholarships aren't disqualified unless the School offering thinks the student athlete is a risk for further legal/school/drug/what ever infractions that would warrant them to take action once the student is enrolled and in their program.

 

Scholarships are still important to people... sort of a rite of passage for those that could pay for their education. Also, some sports programs only offer scholarships whenever they have an opening - otherwise they don't let you play the sport period. You'd only hope to be a walk-on non-player or a manager and hope to move up to a participating spot on the team. With Swimming being largely independent after the College level, there just aren't a lot of open spots on programs for swimmers to get, so a scholarship may be more necessary in persuading athletes to come to their school and compete.

 

I'll have to do more research on that to be sure though. :D You definitely got me thinking!

 

Luke and Jackson not really knowing much about one another isn't all that far-fetched even in the small town in which they live. Cindy and Grace (Jackson's Mom) are really good friends and have been since their high school days. But Jackson never really went to church or interact with people outside of his usual group of friends: Toby, Derek, Lily, Heather, and Ally to varying extents... so Jackson probably would have pitched a fit or threw a huge tantrum if he was taken out of public school and transferred into Luke's school as well. They just weren't friends and maybe if the Park didn't force the two to work together.. and Grace grounding him and restricting his access to his usual friends and shenanigans they likely never would be...  sad to think of it that way. :)

 

In order for them to have become as close as they are now.. Jackson had to change.. otherwise Luke wouldn't have put up with him, I don't think.. lol. 

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Hey Krista! Waiting on the next part of the story! It is, honestly, fucking fantastic. Don't keep us waiting too long. ~ a huge fan

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Hey Krista! Waiting on the next part of the story! It is, honestly, fucking fantastic. Don't keep us waiting too long. ~ a huge fan

 

Aww! :) Thanks for liking the story! :D I just finished the newest part so it will be out in the following week. :D It is a transitional part so I tried to ease readers in a bit with Part 2. 

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Aww! :) Thanks for liking the story! :D I just finished the newest part so it will be out in the following week. :D It is a transitional part so I tried to ease readers in a bit with Part 2.

Can't wait!!

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One of the things which puzzled me at the end of part 1  is the debacle with Cindy revealing that Jackson's mom had miscarriages and that's why he is an only child. Why is this such a huge deal? I mean, it's sad, but I can't understand why Cindy feels it is an important point, nor why her husband and Jackson's mom get upset about it being brought up. To the point of it destroying their long term friendship ! :huh: Abortions, yes, considering the churchy background stuff, but this? is it because it was a secret which she kept from her son? But why would she do that? I simply cannot understand any of it.

Edited by Timothy M.
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One of the things which puzzled me at the end of part 1  is the debacle with Cindy revealing that Jackson's mom had miscarriages and that's why he is an only child. Why is this such a huge deal? I mean, it's sad, but I can't understand why Cindy feels it is an important point, nor why her husband and Jackson's mom get upset about it being brought up. To the point of it destroying their long term friendship ! :huh: Abortions, yes, considering the churchy background stuff, but this? is it because it was a secret which she kept from her son? But why would she do that? I simply cannot understand any of it.

 

For the most part, I wanted Cindy to bring up those miscarriages as a way for her to elaborate on her opinion that Jackson is spoiled with no real parental direction. That maybe if he wasn't such a lucky/miracle child that Grace would have raised him better with more ground rules set for him to follow. More or less - being raised similarly to the way she raised Luke.

 

Sorry if that was a bit unclear. :) More or less it was just something that Cindy thought would explain and justify her opinions of how Jackson is as she sees him as different than his parents.

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For the most part, I wanted Cindy to bring up those miscarriages as a way for her to elaborate on her opinion that Jackson is spoiled with no real parental direction. That maybe if he wasn't such a lucky/miracle child that Grace would have raised him better with more ground rules set for him to follow. More or less - being raised similarly to the way she raised Luke.

 

Sorry if that was a bit unclear. :) More or less it was just something that Cindy thought would explain and justify her opinions of how Jackson is as she sees him as different than his parents.

 

Ahh , that makes a lot of sense. Now I understand better. Thanks for explaining.

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I don't think the mentioning of the miscarriages was what ended the friendship, it was Cindy's attitude toward Jackson in general and how little she thought of him that was the issue. She's an overbearing mother having major difficulty dealing with the fact that her son is aging out of her control, and she seems to be using Jackson as the scapegoat for her ire. It was the disrespect toward Jackson that ended the friendship. I just took her mentioning the miscarriages as crossing a line because that's something personal that a lot of women (I know) find painful to talk about.

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Any progress, Krista?

 

I have it written, it is a bit of a large chapter. 27 Pages and 12,000+ words. :D It may be this weekend before posting. Part 2 sort of lends itself to large chapters, since I'm jumping forward in the story with each chapter. :):D

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Great chapter, Krista. Huge leaps forward for Luke and Jackson. :D

 

But you might want to check the time line. I think you mean An hour later or maybe Minutes later rather than Hours later in the second sentence, because they arrive before the game starts and a few paragraphs before you say the game starts in an hour.

 

It was about thirty minutes until the gates opened and then an hour before the game would be starting. The late October sun was already setting as I walked to the window beside the front door. 
...
Hours later, just as both of us were changed into warmer clothes and the sun was behind the hills in the distance,
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Thanks for bringing that to my attention! :D Time passing is always a bit of a torment for me with these larger chapters as I'm finding out. Especially since I'm jumping forward so much and focusing more on information I need to get out there within the story along with what is happening in the present.. lol. Mercy, this story will give me grey hairs if my children don't. :P

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Too bad it's not an fantasy or sci fi.  Then you could always say they were temporarily stuck in a time loop.  Or a wizard did it. :lol:

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Too bad it's not an fantasy or sci fi.  Then you could always say they were temporarily stuck in a time loop.  Or a wizard did it. :lol:

 

Yeah, I did wonder what Luke and Jackson were doing during those hours. :P

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