W.a.r. By Jeff Wilson (Jkwsquirrel)

[spike382]

Sigh, when are these guys ever going to stop being such jerks to each other. We need just one character in this story to act like someone that can behave around other humans.

[jkwsquirrel]

It's a process, Spikey, but by the end all three of the boys will have matured beyond their petty teenage snottiness into some fine young men.  But if it were all hugs and sunshine it would be pretty boring.  But there will be hugs and sunshine in this book!  Rehabilitation is a much more optimistic book than Broken Boy, with a more introspective Billy. 

[wenmale64]

All right Jeff. You said you would fix the boys after you broke them into very small pieces.  I am going to hold you to it .  At this point I am not sure what I want to happen, nor do I know what to expect next from you.  Please keep up the great work.  I love your story and the style it is presented in. Waiting and figeting for the next book to start......

[jkwsquirrel]

Just a few more days until Part Four - Rehabilitation begins!  (January 23! January 23! January 23!)  I'm looking forward to this one as we put Billy back together again after we broke him in the last book.

 

In the meantime, I have a silly question for you, if you're interested:

 

How do you pronounce the name of the story?  Do you think "war" or do you think "w. a. r."?

 

I thought I was oh so clever when I came up with that title years and years ago.  I've had a few people ask me what it means and I always refer them to the first sentence of chapter 1-3:  "William Aaron Roberts get your butt out of bed this instant." But now I think, How do people pronounce the thing?

 

I tend to pronounce it "war," if you were wondering.  It's just easier that way.

 

Jeff

[William King]

I call it 'war' it's a pretty bloody battlefield anyway... lol.

 

Actually I enjoy the "petty teenage snottiness", it's nice to read a story that's real and everything doesn't always turn out well.

 

Okay, some people tell me they like to read to escape and want happy endings, bit like most American movies (he ducks as projectiles are thrown), I like a good story, that's real, provokes emotions and may or may not end well.

 

Thank you for your epic series... I hope it goes on forever.

[wenmale64]

I generally agree with William, except I am one of those that want a happy ending.  I can read through sad and emotional segments of a story, but if a story ends badly I will not return to that author.  This is just me as I grew up very torn from being a gay teen in a very homophobic rural town.  I really have never gotten over it to this day.  I read these storys to see hope for young people that I never felt. I get invested in the characters and it really hurts when they get hurt.  I do recover, but if a story ends sadly the pain continues way longer with no hope for joy.  A sad chapter has hope and hope is all any of us really have.

   As for your question, Jeff,  I pronounce it "war" just for the ease.  I do always remember that it is Billys initals AND that the whole composition is a battle field with blood, gore, casualtys, wounds AND hopfully healing, victors and peace......  Can we hope?

 

 

Hope this helps.  You could have stepped up the release to give us more good on this day

 

Rob

[jkwsquirrel]

I ended up publishing the latest chapter a little earlier than usual because I'm heading out of town for a few days and I wanted to get it out there for you all to enjoy.

 

So, Rehabilitation is going well so far, I think.  I can't thank you all enough for the comments and likes.  I'll reply to the reviews when I get back.  Billy's been a little quiet, and that'll kind of continue.  He's still in a bit of shock over everything that happened.  He's learning.  Dustin is showing signs of becoming unhinged.  Can you blame him, really?  And Brett is still Brett.  Big things lie ahead for all three of them.  We're kind of in the calm before the storm.  I can't wait to show you what's in store.

[jkwsquirrel]

Brett vs. Dustin this coming Sunday night!  Who will win?  Will anyone win?  What will the loser lose?  It may be the most shocking chapter yet!

[jkwsquirrel]

So, "Dustin Loses the War" was quite the chapter, eh?

 

The reader reaction was pretty much what I expected.  The boys each showed their worst sides in this one.  Brett and Dustin bring out the worst in each other.  They hate each other, partly because they are so different, but also because they are so similar.  They both want the same thing, and only one of them can have it.

 

Billy kept his temper in check, which is a sign of growth.  He could have exploded and let both boys have it, but he tried to play peacemaker instead.  He's growing up.  But in the end, Billy leveraged Dustin's secret for his own as a last resort.  Billy is a logical thinker, even if he is a bit of a hot head.  He figured one secret for another would be a fair exchange.  He knew the reaction would be bad, but he never imagined how violently Dustin would react.

 

Dustin totally blew his stack in an epic meltdown.  Notice how his language changed when he lost it.  The boy who never swears gave Brett a run for his money in the f-word department.  He went after Billy's most vulnerable weakness, where he knew he could hurt him the most.  Billy pulled the mask off of the happy smiling Dustin and found a violent angry monster underneath.  What he did to Billy was inexcusable.

 

And then there's Brett.  So, Brett was always a dick.  From the very beginning.  Brett wasn't even hiding it.  He'd admit it if you asked him.  Brett was a spoiled little brat right from the beginning of the story.  He quit on the team, he threw a fit when he lost at bowling, he punched Billy in the mouth, he swears like a sailor, he treats his mom like shit, he's smoking pot, he talked Billy into snooping through his dad's things and taking the porno, and he spends more time in detention than in class.  Was it really any surprise that he acted the way he did to Dustin?  Maybe there was a surprise in how low he was willing to go.  I mean, saying he was glad Dustin's parents abuse him was disgusting.  Brett was never an angel, but what he did in this chapter was terrible.  Again, no excuses for your humble writer.  Brett was an asshole in this chapter.  Here's the thing, he's terrified of Dustin.  He knows Dustin is bigger and stronger than him, but he's also smarter than Brett.  As soon as Dustin started hitting back with his own insults against Brett he hit him pretty hard.  He left Brett a sputtering, screaming, angry mess at the end of their fight.  Brett threw his relationship with Billy in Dustin's face in a moment of desperation, as Dustin was destroying him.  Brett's in an interesting point in his life.  He's reached the moment where he knows what he's doing is wrong and he wants to change, but he doesn't know how.  So he's seeking out help in ways that aren't very helpful.  He's in over his head and he's flailing about looking for someone to help him.  He knows he needs help, but will he accept it?

[Shadow086]

I was too angry at Dustin to post all my thoughts in my review so I'll try again here.

 

For the record, I've always been on Team Find-Someone-Else-Because-They're-Both-Terrible but I've sided with Dustin up until he pushed Billy in the lockers.  Dustin deserved better than constantly being pushed aside and forgotten because his best friend was too caught up in Brett to pay him any attention.  But the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree, and the way he completely turned on Billy and did what he did after finding out he's gay crossed so many lines for me that I can't bring myself to feel any sympathy for him at all, and I don't think I'll feel sorry for him when his little safe space with Mike comes crashing down.  Yes, he came to see Billy first, but once Billy admitted to being gay Dustin just shut him out completely and didn't listen to anything he had to say.  I hope he enjoys being alone after kicking away the only person who gave a damn about him.  Still, I can't help but wonder if he's angry at Billy for being gay or for making Brett his boyfriend instead of Dustin.

 

Brett sounds like someone who's insecure.  It feels like being a dick is a front he puts up to hide his own weaknesses (every insult Dustin threw at him, basically) and he only lets his true self show when he's with Billy.  He feels threatened by Dustin's close friendship with Billy so he's willing to do anything to get him out of the picture.  I don't know what happened after Billy left, but I bet Brett was really shocked and hurt by Billy walking out and didn't put up much of a fight after that.  Whatever his reasons, it doesn't excuse what he did to Dustin and the damage he did to Billy.  One thing I'll say, though, is this: it didn't end exactly the way he planned, but Dustin fell right into his trap and he managed to push him out of Billy's life like he wanted.  I really hope he can change and become better.  I still have some hope for Brett because it sucks to know that one of these two will likely get Billy when neither of them deserves to have him.

 

I honestly can't really find fault with Billy this time.  He really tried everything to defuse the situation and was really just a spectator in this mess.  He only brought up the thing with Mike because Dustin backed him into a corner, so I can't really blame him for that.  Besides, threatening to out someone is even worse in my opinion.  I still think the best thing for Billy at this point is to go back to his mom and step back from this mess for a while so he can think things through.

 

I expect that at some point Dustin will get his head out of his ass and realise that Billy was sticking up for him and trying to get Brett to back off, and that he only lashed out when his boyfriend was attacked, but it's already too late for that.  Some things just can't be taken back.

[wenmale64]

Hi All,

 

I have to agree with Shadows comments compleately.  I have always been team Brett, but throwing the vile things he did at Dustin just crossed all the lines.  The last part was by far the worst.  Brett knows Billy is over the top scared of being out and has repeatedly promiced to take it at Billys pace.  We know Brett is really frustrated, but outing Billy to Dustin as a way to fight harder in a loosing battle was just WRONG.  Billy really attempted to be the moderator until his trust in Brett was destroyed.  Dustin was also vile in his attack/response to Brett.  His actions at Billys house are simpley evil.  I do not know if he really made a decision to kick Billy in the injured hand or if any contact would have satisfied him.  By kicking Billys injured hand he really steped over a line with me.  Does everyone remember that Billy is an aspiring artist and his ability to draw his wonderful art has already been threatened deeply by his injury?  For Dustin to attempt to take that away from Billy makes Satin himself look like an angel (yea I know, A GOOD one).  Dustins actions are unforgivable and he should pary to his gods that Billy does not uterly destroy him for those actions.  A call to the cops and words spread to schoolmates would only be the beginning of the destruction.  When I was in High School I tended to be a bit of an ass at times, but I never, Never, NEVER  attacked my friends personal lives or shared secrets.  I have not to this day and a few of those friends are still my rocks to this day.  One of those friends knows my deepest secret and because he is a FRIEND I never fear that he knows something that would destroy me in our small town...Jeff you hurt the boys badly with this and time will have to move quickly to heal these wounds.  I have not given up on the boys, but I will pause for a few chapters to allow the wounds to scab over and the healing to begin.  There is just to much pain here for all three of them.  You have an amazing talent for telling a powerful story.  Keep true to your dreams and good luck with WAR and your new story .  I do not have the fortitude right now to watch the healing.......

 

God Speed Jeff, and on to morning...........................................................................................

Edited February 20, 2017 by wenmale64

[jkwsquirrel]

One of the problems with publishing episodically is that it can be frustrating for readers when an intense chapter like Dustin Loses the War comes along.  I can tell you it's all going to work out okay in the end, that this is just a bump in the road, but I keep you waiting because of the nature of how it works.  I try not to do too many cliffhangers because I just don't think it's fair to do that to readers.  I got some pretty passionate response to this one.  My "imagination has gone wild and I'm losing the audience I'm writing for."  I'm "making things unbelievable" and "have failed the credibility test."  I "need an editor to pull me back some."  It almost makes me want to just publish the next chapter early to let everyone know it's going to be okay.  Almost.  Hopefully I've built enough trust and credibility that you know I'm going somewhere with all this.  I can't spoil it and tell you where I'm going, but everything in this chapter, even the kick, was there for a reason.

 

I don't know.  It's just frustrating.  I just want to write a good story.

[William King]

I think it's okay to publish a chapter a week, the reader has a choice about when to read. It could be a bit frustrating if there was a long gap, but otherwise it's fine.

 

Personally, I love cliffhangers, the more, the better. I enjoy picking up the clues about where things might be heading, and when there are twists in the story it's interesting.

 

You actually couldn't do anything wrong as far as I'm concerned (except stop writing it), because it's such a great story. I would like it to go on forever, and I'd be here reading it and commenting along the way.

 

Thank you for a wonderful story and super characters - where are the badges, I want to join the fan club!

 

Oh yes, and I forgot to say - it's totally credible and very realistic.

Edited February 22, 2017 by William King

[wenmale64]

Jeff,

 

You have not lost me. I am just taking a break to heal some personel wounds.  I need to be able to see the boys heal also.  Cliff hangers, to me, suck.  All I do is fret about what is next.  YOU just keep true to your artestry. I do trust you and believe all will be sorted in the future.

 

Until morning arrives my friend....

Rob

[Shadow086]

Personally I think this is what's going to get the boys to look at what they've become and do some much needed growing up.  Billy's going to think about where he went wrong with Dustin, his dad, etc. while Brett will try stop being such a vicious and mean-spirited person, if not for himself then to be a better boyfriend for Billy.  As for Dustin, he'll soon realise what his little outburst cost him and he'll have to live with that.  I really hope things get better for all of them, but I feel Dustin's gone too far this time and he doesn't get to just say sorry and be Billy's best friend again.  I believe that Billy will soon see that Brett really does care about him and things will get better between them, but if Dustin thought Brett hated him before, he's in for a surprise.

 

By the way, don't they have to go back to school for a few days, or did this happen after the last day?

[jkwsquirrel]

So, we're about half way through Rehabilitation now.  Things are progressing nicely.  We had the latest round in the war between Brett and Dustin that displayed just how vicious and sadistic Brett could be, and how dangerous and violent Dustin could be if pushed too far.

 

But I can't help but feel that something very important has been missing in Rehabilitation.  Maybe you've noticed it too?  The story has been missing its conscience, the foundation that brings order to Billy's chaotic life.  I'm referring, of course, to Billy's dad, George.  The story just hasn't been the same without him.  Billy hasn't been the same without him.

 

I've thought of WAR as just as much about the relationship between Billy and his dad as it is about Billy and his relationships with Brett and Dustin.  It's been fun to watch their relationship develop.  We joined the story right at the point where Billy was beginning to lose that awe of his father.  He was beginning to see his dad in ways he hadn't before.  George was always a bit intimidating to Billy.  Billy respects intelligence, and there was nobody in his life who was smarter than his dad.  Billy would test the boundaries a bit, and George would let him, but it was always clear who was the boss.  But as the story has progressed, Billy caught up to and then surpassed his father's height.  He grew a bit arrogant and stubborn, thinking he knew everything.  Eventually he pushed his boundaries too far and George responded violently.  That slap was one of the most pivotal moments of the story.  It dramatically altered Billy's perception of his dad and himself and sent him spiraling into a crash.  If George doesn't slap Billy, Billy doesn't punch the mirror.  Since then, Billy has been more subdued.  He's had to try to sort out all of the mess he's in without his port in the storm.  Up until part four, Billy was the driver of the events of the story.  But in this part, he's been driven by forces out of his control.  He's struggling to find his place in the world without his dad.

 

There's a lot of my own father in George.  George is one of my favorite characters to write.  He has a way of helping Billy think about things more deeply.  He always seems to have the right words to help Billy deal with whatever it is that's troubling him.  He's not one for big outward signs of affection, but Billy knows he's loved.

 

Anyway, just some thoughts.

[Shadow086]

Yeah, I think what Billy needs right now is a good talk with his dad to help him sort out his problems.  Unfortunately all the things he's having to deal with are connected to his being gay, and Billy just isn't ready to take that step and come out to his dad, even though George probably already knows by now.  Although it's a good sign that Billy is acting more mature when dealing with Brett's temper tantrum and the whole Dustin situation, I think he could benefit from hearing George's take on things.

 

Speaking of Dustin, while I don't want to see this little jerk again for a long time,  I get the feeling he's going to try and weasel his way back in soon enough. And while I'm sure they'll end up with some sort of friendship again, I hope Billy gives him the cold shoulder for a while and makes it clear that he won't let anybody treat him this way.  That's still more than Dustin deserves at this point, it it were me I'd make detours to avoid having anything to do with him. There's still that volleyball thing though, that should be fun.

 

I wonder if Dustin is enough of a jerk to out them, and how much difference it would make.  Billy's nowhere near as discrete as he thinks he is and Brett is almost shouting it out as it is, so it's not like the people at school don't already know, as do Jen and George, most likely.  And since those two seem to be pretty supportive, that just leaves Billy's mom.  Would she love and support Billy and Brett or will she join Team Joey as I half-expect her to do?  Only time will tell.

[Shadow086]

Some additional thoughts on the latest chapter:

 

The whole therapy thing should turn out to be good for Brett.  Not just because he needs some help with his anger issues, but because, as bad as it may sound, I think that Dr Reilly will be more receptive to Brett's arguments if she hears it from one of her doctor friends.  If Brett's therapist says the same things he did, she can't just dismiss it as easily anymore.  But that whole episode shows where Brett got his attitude from, Jen also refuses to take any responsibility for the situation.  And he shouldn't just blame Billy for "taking her side", Billy's just out of his depth and doesn't know how to react so he'll trust Jen's judgement since she's a professional.  I do think Billy will be there to support Brett in any way he can during this whole thing.

 

I'm sorry, but I had to laugh at Brett's desperate attempt to get his pot back, and the disappointment when Billy just shut him down.

 

That conversation with George felt a bit weird to me, especially with the coin box.  George can really read Billy like an open book, perhaps because they're so much alike.  There's something about that coin box that feels off.  Obviously there's more than a coin collection in there, something he probably doesn't want Paula to know about.  And the way he said "you and Brett" basically confirms he knows they're together, and George either thinks they'll stay together or that he'll die soon (hopefully not that last one).  I have no clue what Brett could help him with, so now I'm really curious.

 

It's nice to have a few chapters without any Dustin drama, but I suppose it won't last.  I'd say it won't be too long before Mike gets busted and Billy gets blamed even though he's just minding his own business.

 

Finally, I must say that I like Paula less and less as time goes on.  Those religious types don't sit well with me at all.  Ever since that fight where she spent all her time ranting about how she'll have to kiss up to Joey's parents instead of at least listening to her own son, I haven't liked her.  She's just the typical religious hypocrite who's more worried about what the neighbours will think than how her son feels.  I'm sure that as soon as she hears rumours about Brett being gay she'll forbid Billy from seeing him, and if she finds out Billy's gay before George comes back home she'd probably throw him out too.  Paula showed signs of that judgmental, bigoted attitude and she just rubs me the wrong way.

 

Great story Jeff!  I try to review as soon as I read the chapter, but I always find myself spending the following week thinking and analysing and turning things over in my head for clues on what's going on.

[jkwsquirrel]

Thanks Shadow-dude!

 

It's been interesting focusing almost exclusively on Brett in the last few chapters.  Brett is in a rough place in his life at the moment, and it's been fun exploring how he's handled it.  Brett can be a real dick at times, but he also has a big heart.  He absorbs other people's emotions because he seeks to understand them very deeply.  He believes his mother doesn't give a crap about him, and so that's the response to her.  He thinks she cares more about her patients than she does about him, and that drives him insane.  She is his mother, not them.  That she would expend more energy on their feelings than his just makes him furious.  I think we saw that in his argument with her in this last chapter.  He was doing okay until Dustin called him on his crap, and he's still reeling from the events of that day.  Because Brett cares so much about people he has built up his defenses to protect himself from others.  He's overly sensitive to insults and he takes things very personally.  Billy goes for the jugular when he's angry, but Brett goes for the heart.

 

Brett doesn't do subtle very well does he?  I love his determination, though.

 

George is a different kind of cat than most dads in this kind of story.  He's a bit larger than life because that's the way Billy sees him.  But as his health is declining he's becoming more and more human.  Billy is beginning to surpass his old man.  Having a severe health crisis will make anyone begin to think about one's mortality, and begin to prepare one's loved ones for their eventual demise.  We'll explore this a lot more in part 5.  I haven't focused all that much on Paula.  I think Billy just can't figure out where he fits into her life.  Billy can relate to his dad more easily than with her.  She's a wildcard in the story.  She can go a number of different ways.  However, don't underestimate her fierce loyalty to family.  This is a woman who gave up her career to care for her mother; who married a man who was a drinker, smoker, womanizer, and an ex-convict and then tamed him; and who Brett looks to as the model of a good mom.  There's a reason Billy fears her knowing about him more than anyone else.  She may be the toughest character in the whole book.

 

So then, thanks for the kind words about the story!  You don't know how much I appreciate it.  It's been a rough couple of months in my real life and I've really appreciated the support.  I'm glad I can share this experience with people like you.

[Shadow086]

Well, for what it's worth, I think Brett's right about his mom.  Sometimes I get the feeling she treats him more like one of her patients than her own son, and I can see why Brett would get upset about that.  George feels like the glue holding the family together and the uncertainty surrounding him worries me a little.  There's just so much that could go wrong, including how he could react to everything.  As for Paula, I'm sure she'll come around fairly quickly, but usually people like her will side with religion at first, and I think that's partly why Billy's so afraid of her finding out.  What I'm worried about is the initial rejection and the damage it can cause to Billy.  I think Billy's a lot more fragile than he lets on, and I'm afraid Paula's reaction could send him into another breakdown.  Billy's already lost one of the people most important to him because he was outed (although I think Dustin's a closet case himself and has a crush on Billy) and I don't think he could handle losing another.

 

Brett's really helped Billy go through his issues and sort things out, now it's time for Billy to return the favour, if only Brett would let him.

[Okiegrad]

I'm so addicted to this story lol.  I love every chapter!

[Freerider]

So am I. I read through the previous chapters almost in one go!

This story is affecting me. I am guessing it makes me think of my own youth; small religious town but alas no friends to experiment with. A lot of longing though. These adolescent years affected me deeply, but I don't think it screwed me up too much  Or maybe I am just not seeing it, as some of the characters in the story. I started running from that life at 17 and I basically still am. Ah well, this is not about me.

Especially the first 2 chapters had me crying (which is quite atypical for me). I just can't wait for the story to continue.

 

So many questions about the characters keep my mind busy (and even distracted from the things I should do ). 

Anyway Jeff, I just wanted to let you know you have a new fan. Your writing is really having an impact 

Edited March 31, 2017 by Freerider

[jkwsquirrel]

Gee, Guess I should check this forum out more often!  lol  Hey thanks for the kind words!  It means a lot to me.  I'm glad that something I wrote can make so many people happy!

 

Peace,

 

Jeff

[jkwsquirrel]

Well, I'm off to England for a week!  Maybe I'll come back with an English accent!  I'll miss yinz! 

[Former Member]

Will you let us know who ‘English Accent’ is? Maybe you can rescue Harry from the clutches of that woman…  ;-)