W.a.r. By Jeff Wilson (Jkwsquirrel)

[Shadow086]

Or better yet, Billy could let him have his "victory" and concentrate on making it through graduation.  Then he can go to college and leave that place and everyone in it behind for good.

 

Although I hope that when he does marry Brett, he'll do it somewhere in town, just to rub it in their faces.

[jkwsquirrel]

Guess what?  We're back!  The next-to-last chapter is up!

[Former Member]

18 minutes ago, jkwsquirrel said:

The next-to-last chapter is up!

I’m sad because it’s the next to the last time we have you with us!

[jkwsquirrel]

Well, last chapter was rough.  Rough to write, maybe rough to read too?  I don't know.  There was just a lot of things I needed to do to tie things up and it felt to me like I tried to do too much with it.  That's kind of why it took longer to put out.  I'll be honest, things pretty much wrapped up with the prom, but like Lord of the Rings, the journey isn't quite finished yet.  So a couple of things:

 

Billy could never be valedictorian, and he had to do it nobly.  He couldn't just be screwed out of it, he had to let it go.  If he'd just been screwed, he'd have been bitter and angry for a long time about it.  So instead, he had to let it go.  He had to swallow the pride that had been his downfall for so much of the story and let it go.  Therefore, it couldn't be Mr. Taylor who took it from him, and that's the whole purpose for Jeremy Hartley's presence in the story.  Billy could have fought back.  Maybe he should have?  But he didn't.  He made peace with not getting something that he wanted.

 

Dustin...  Boy, I wish that I could write Dustin as being completely cured and over what happened to him.  I just can't.  Too much happened to him.  Someone mentioned it in the comments and it's absolutely true, Dustin's going right back to his old behaviors, having random sex with anyone he can, only now he's not charging for it.  That would be the set up for the Dustin sequel, but, I'll leave it up to your imagination how that goes, or you can look up Dustin's World on nifty.  Obviously, that story is now taking place in an alternate universe, but you get the idea - Sarah Taylor bombs out of school and hooks up with Dustin, Dustin finds true love, in the form of a preacher's kid named Nate Stevens, Dustin's dad comes back and causes havoc.  It's all there, just that I never got around to updating it.  Oh, and I wrote that in a time when my life was very bitter and it shows in the writing... if you thought WAR was angsty - beware!

 

Billy's speech - underwhelming by design.  Billy is a planner, not a spur of the moment kind of guy.  Most of why he's so stressed out throughout the story is because things are not going according to his plans and he's stressed out.  So yeah, he just mumbled a few thoughts and got off the stage as quickly as he could.  Plus he's a total introvert, so the idea of speaking off the cuff in front of a thousand people was already stressful enough.  But it made the point.  School was never about learning facts for Billy, it was about learning to navigate people.

 

Brett's fucked up family - To the surprise of no one except Brett, Jack and Jenny have been in a secret relationship all along.  Yeah, was there ever any doubt about that?  Where I wanted to go with that whole storyline is this- it doesn't matter how respectable someone is, they can be just as awful as anyone else.  It's easy to look at a character like Frank Smith and know that he's a vile monster.  But at first, DOCTOR Reilly gives the impression of respectability and prestige.  "Look at how wonderful she is!  She must obviously have it all together!  She's rich and famous!  She writes such great books!  She's a DOCTOR!"  But Jen knows the truth, it's all a house of cards.  Her respectability is as flimsy as can be.  And she fights so hard to keep that flimsiness a secret because once it wobbles the whole thing is going to crash.  Jack's reputation was the same, all built on lies and false impressions.  I'm still not sure whether Brett or Dustin was the more neglected boy.  If not for Billy's parents and grandmother taking him under their wings, Brett would have been even worse than Dustin, and probably would have ended up dead by age 30.

[Israfil]

I was actually thinking of Dustin’s world during WAR.  I figured some stuff would be changed but it gave me a rough idea of certain issues - like the extent of Dustin’s abuse at the hands of his father.  Tangentially, I notice you made Dr. Reilly a much more likeable character there haha.  

 

I like Billy’s overcoming his pride, even though I feel for him.  I think Mr. Hartley is an example of what Billy could have been if he had let his bitterness and ego consume him - that anger and need to demonstrate ones own superiority.  Luckily, Billy had the support his family, Brett and others.  But mainly Brett.

 

Interestingly, Hartley was antagonistic towards those he thought things came easily to - he gives Billy, the class genius who barely has to study, a hard time but seems to help the kids who need to work hard, like Dustin, who he helped get into CalTech.  For some reason, I can see Billy having the same viewpoint under different circumstances.

 

I feel bad for Dustin but I think his coming out will help somewhat - he’s more secure in himself, even if his behaviors have not outwardly changed.  A feeling of self-worth can do wonders.  And he has a little more family support than he did before from his sister and possibly his mother.

 

Though I pride myself on my cynicism, I was kind of hoping that Brett and his mum would take steps towards repairing their relationship - instead it kind of crashed and burned.  There’s still hope for the last chapter but somehow I doubt it.

 

Billy commented he felt more “love” from his school when he started being true to himself - kind of uncharacteristicly sentimental for Billy (regarding school).  They gave some tepid support at prom.  Big whoop.  Nothing really changed after he came out, as far as I saw.  Or maybe I’m seeing what I want to see cause I don’t want to consider if things would have been better if I came out in high school  

 

Lastly, I’m sorry to see you go.  After several books, I’ve grown to enjoy your writing and gift for creating characters - as I said before, even though you leave GA, I hope you continue writing in some form.  The world will be a better place for it.

Edited May 17, 2018 by Israfil

[jkwsquirrel]

Hey, just a note that I am working on the last chapter.  Should be sometime next week, hopefully.  (this is why I worked so far ahead!)

[Former Member]

I’m hoping that someday in the future, you'll surprise us by returning with the proposed Dustin sequel! Don’t throw out the baby with the bathwater! It is possible to write stories without tempting yourself with other things (you could scribble them down on physical notebooks). My impression is that many authors (eg @R. Eric) work out their issues by writing instead of more destructive means.  ;–)

[jkwsquirrel]

Looks 

Quote

Looks like tomorrow might be the day!

 

[jkwsquirrel]

Today's the day!  Years of work and planning!  It ends tonight, right back where it all began.  Another Day at the Park...

[Wesley8890]

I'm going to miss these guys! And you! You one of the reasons I came to this site!

[wenmale64]

I to will miss the ongoing drama the guys have faced throughout the books and chapters.  I will reserve comment until I have read the final chapter. I have liked following the characters you have created with your writing. There have been the goo, the bad and the ugly as we have followed Billy, Brett and Dustin along with their familys and associates through times of turmoil and healing.

 

Jeff,

I hope you find peace and hapiness in your future endevors. If you ever decide to pass alomg another story, we will read it with pleasure. You are a talanted and gifted writer and I wish you only the best in the next project you tackle.  Remember, you are a good person and deserve to be happy in your future adventures.

 

Be Well......

[Former Member]

Jeff, I’m really going to miss reading new chapters of your stories. I hope things work out for you and your family. I’m sorry GA was part of your life that you will be moving on from. But please thank your wife for allowing us to read the conclusion of your saga.

[Dahawk]

Jeff, you will be sadly missed by me and many other readers. Your story has become a part of our lives and I myself have enjoyed getting to read and speak with you. I will keep an eye out for where any future work of yours may pop up. Take care, my friend.

[jkwsquirrel]

CHAPTER 85 IS DONE!

 

PART SIX IS DONE!

 

THE WAR IS OVER!

 

So go check it out!  And let me know what you thought of this whole venture!

[Shadow086]

Only 85 chapters?  It felt so much longer, but in a good way.  With so much going on, it really felt like we were getting two chapters' worth a lot of times.

 

I'm sad to have to say goodbye to Billy and the gang, but their story has been told, and it's time to let them live their married life out of the spotlight.  I think the ending was spot-on, coming full-circle, but I'll always be wanting more.  It could've been fun to see a short "Where are they now?" type of epilogue, but there isn't really a need for it.

 

You really took us all for a ride with this story, Jeff, and while some parts were rough, what an enjoyable ride it was.  And once I've let the dust settle, I'll be right there going for another round.

[jkwsquirrel]

Thanks guys for the nice comments and encouragement.  I feel kind of bad.  I'm retiring, not dying!  Writing WAR was fun, but it did come at a personal cost.  Things are in a better place now in my life, with even better things to come.  But writing is hard work and consumes too much time if you want to do it well, which I wanted to do.  Unfortunately, I couldn't keep up with the replies to comments like I wanted.  I just loved getting comments, and wanted to reply to everyone, but it just got to be too much with the other stuff going on in real life.  Once I got behind schedule with the writing, it got very hard to do everything I wanted to do, like release a chapter every week to the end.  I feel like I lost some people when the schedule got off.

 

I was really happy with how the story came together overall.  There were some things I wasn't completely happy with.  I am an incredibly harsh critic of my own work, so seeing people enjoying the story and telling me they thought it was good really encouraged me. Writing like a melodramatic over-the-top teenager was challenging and tiring at times.  I tried to keep the age of the characters in mind.  It was more appropriate for a teenage character to flip out than an adult.  I tried to keep true to that.

 

  I always promised a happy ending, especially when people got mad at me for putting the boys through hell.  That was always my promise.  It might hurt to read a chapter in the moment, but it was always meant to go somewhere, to earn the happy ending.  The low point was probably the big fight between the boys when Brett said he was glad Dustin was being abused and Dustin kicked Billy's broken arm.  A lot of people were pissed off at me for that chapter, but it was essential to the story.  Without the darkness we can't truly appreciate the light.  I tried my best to avoid unnecessary cliffhangers.  I think the only true cliffhanger was the end of The Broken Boy, where George's fate is uncertain and Billy is a bloody mess on the bathroom floor.  I wanted every chapter to mean something on its own while telling the larger story.  I never wanted to abuse my readers' trust.  You trusted me to take you on a journey through some very dark places.  That trust was sacred to me.  I always wanted to respect your trust in me to get you through to the end and have it all make sense in the end.  I feel good about how it came together.  Now that the story is truly finished, it's no longer truly mine anymore.  Now it belongs to you.  That's the joy of writing.

[Israfil]

Of the many comments I have - the first question is, did Dustin come to their wedding? (Please say yes - that scene at the end with Billy broke my heart)

[jkwsquirrel]

On ‎5‎/‎31‎/‎2018 at 1:21 AM, Israfil said:

Of the many comments I have - the first question is, did Dustin come to their wedding? (Please say yes - that scene at the end with Billy broke my heart)

Who knows?  In an alternate reality (a story called Dustin's World in nifty's college section) Dustin ended up together with a certain preacher's kid, on e who makes an appearance at the end of Commencement.  So there's always hope!  I still envision Dustin and Nate finding each other.

[jkwsquirrel]

So now, having completed the writing portion of the story, I've gone back and am reading the story for my own enjoyment.  It's a different experience, just reading for fun rather than working and nit-picking everything to death.  I am brutal on my own work, which is good for you all because it makes the story better but takes a toll on me.  But now that's it's finished, I can read it for my own enjoyment rather than for process.  I'm through the first part of the story.  So what has reading Black Summer for fun revealed to me?

 

1 - Man, Brett had it bad for Billy right from the start!  His "Do you think I'm weird?" question in chapter four revealed a deeper side to him that got fleshed out later, but showed that Brett actually did care what people thought of him, at least what Billy thought of him.

 

2 - I'd forgotten how rocky Black Summer was concerning George and Paula's marriage.  Their argument after Billy broke his face was rough.  They looked headed for Splitsville before grandma died.

 

3 - The dignity of Billy's grandma, even after her stroke, carried through to her daughter and grandson.

 

4 - I should have had Joey's dad take him home after he got sick at the ballgame.  Then he would have been there right from the very first chapter.  Unfortunately I didn't settle on Jack being Brett's father until Cold Winter.

 

5 - George was not a saint.  He was a real jerk when he was angry, calling Billy stupid while demanding respect for himself.  It's easy to see where future Billy got his arguing style from.

 

6 - Billy was a coward right from the beginning.  Brett was an instigator too.

 

7 - Was there a bit of foreshadowing in Brett's loathing of Dustin's dad?  Maybe.  I loved Brett's description of quitting the baseball team, which also established his friendly relationship with Amanda.  (She was like, yeah and I was like, cool...)

 

8 - No Dr. Reilly in Black Summer at all.  Almost like she was absent the whole time.

 

9 - I loved the mystery of Brett's first name.  It's mentioned in passing that Brett is his middle name, but we never find out what his first name is, and won't until his mom reveals it in Part Two.

 

10 - Brett's line in chapter three, "I'll bet you'd be wild in the sack..."  Oh if you only knew, Mr. Reilly!

[Former Member]

2 hours ago, jkwsquirrel said:

Who knows?  In an alternate reality (a story called Dustin's World in nifty's college section) Dustin ended up together with a certain preacher's kid, on e who makes an appearance at the end of Commencement.  So there's always hope!  I still envision Dustin and Nate finding each other.

I cannot imagine Dustin as the Preacher’s husband! Or rather, I cannot imagine how the congregation could/would accept Dustin as the Preacher’s husband. Too many people know about Dustin’s past. Religious people talk about forgiveness, but never practice it in real life!

 

Religious people want the Preacher’s family to be as squeaky clean as they demand the Preacher to be. They will project their fantasy on the Preacher’s family as long as they can and reject the one who ruins their fantasy. Officially, they don’t know that this Preacher’s Kid is Gay, so they can pretend that I’m not the sinful Black Sheep that they would otherwise believe I am.

[Shadow086]

2 minutes ago, droughtquake said:

I cannot imagine Dustin as the Preacher’s husband! Or rather, I cannot imagine how the congregation could/would accept Dustin as the Preacher’s husband. Too many people know about Dustin’s past. Religious people talk about forgiveness, but never practice it in real life!

 

Religious people want the Preacher’s family to be as squeaky clean as they demand the Preacher to be. They will project their fantasy on the Preacher’s family as long as they can and reject the one who ruins their fantasy. Officially, they don’t know that this Preacher’s Kid is Gay, so they can pretend that I’m not the sinful Black Sheep that they would otherwise believe I am.

Real religious people just live according to their faith and don't make a big deal out of it.  But the so-called 'religious' right is made up of hypocrites and hate-mongers who probably never read their scriptures once in their lives.  I always found it a little amusing that these Christian fundamentalists are acting like the very people Jesus spent his life denouncing.

 

But one thing about Dustin and Nate: it was never mentioned what congregation Nate was preaching to.  For all we know, he could be a preacher in a very gay-friendly church in Pittsburgh, and B&B asked specifically for him just to rub it in Carl's face.  And yes, I can see one or both of them doing that 😆.

[Former Member]

3 minutes ago, Shadow086 said:

Real religious people just live according to their faith and don't make a big deal out of it.  But the so-called 'religious' right is made up of hypocrites and hate-mongers who probably never read their scriptures once in their lives.  I always found it a little amusing that these Christian fundamentalists are acting like the very people Jesus spent his life denouncing.

 

But one thing about Dustin and Nate: it was never mentioned what congregation Nate was preaching to.  For all we know, he could be a preacher in a very gay-friendly church in Pittsburgh, and B&B asked specifically for him just to rub it in Carl's face.  And yes, I can see one or both of them doing that 😆.

The churches my father served at were very conservative and edging towards fundamentalist. My parents subscribed to the religious publication put out by the anti-Gay fundamentalist hate-group, Focus on the Family. While they didn’t kick me out of the house, shun me, or send me to a conversion camp (because they were more worried about what it would look like to the congregation, the family, and neighbors in that order), my parents certainly were never happy about my being Gay.

[jkwsquirrel]

Hi, it's been a while.  Real life has been busy, busy, busy!  Things are going very well.  I'm in a much healthier place than I was a few months ago.  The family is good.  Just a lot of good tings happening all around.  So thanks for the support!  I needed it!

 

I've been reading WAR for fun lately, which is hard for me because I still want to nit-pick everything.  I just finished Cold Winter.  Here are my thoughts:

 

1. Billy doesn't do much in this one as Brett takes center stage.  Billy hasn't yet developed his full sarcastic powers and is more optimistic than later books, but you can see the signs that cynicism is creeping into his outlook on life.  Billy is still a kid and has some childish moments, like planning to run away after his parents yelled at him.

 

2. What an epic meltdown for Brett in the first few chapters.  Telling off Mrs. Smith was merely a warning shot for the nuclear explosion at the bowling alley.  How many of these stories have the love interest punch the main character in the mouth?  The larger story of Brett Reilly is of a boy with severe self-doubt who covers it up with a mask of bravado and humor.

 

3. Paula's momma bear instincts are strong for both boys.

 

4. Billy learning about his father's past life before he was born helps him to discover that his father wasn't always the man he became.  It's hard to picture George as a teenage rebel without a cause, knowing what he became later.  His abusive upbringing haunts him.  He doesn't want his relationship with his son to be like the one he had with his father.  His paternal instinct helps him to be the one who gets Brett to break out of his depression and deal with his mom.

 

5. Dr. Reilly finally appears toward the end of the book.  I wanted her to be an enigma, a mystery.  Billy's apprehension as he approaches his encounter, and the tension as the boys prepare to talk to her, were all meant to build up the moment, like meeting the Wizard of Oz.  She's meant to astound and impress in that first meeting.  So cool and so smart when you first meet her, but time will reveal the illusion, she's one of the most screwed up characters in the whole series.

 

6. Interesting how the two tales of the past lives of George and Dr. Reilly contrast.  George tells the truth, even though it is embarrassing and painful.  Jenny lies and manipulates the boys to avoid the embarrassment, conveniently avoiding the little detail that she moved to that particular town to be close to Jack.

 

7. "They could almost pass for brothers, if you didn't know any better."  Oh Billy, you little foreshadower, you!

 

8. Brett flat out says what he will later deny - He IS jealous of Dustin's relationship with Billy.  Brett's competitive nature comes into play throughout the story.  He wants to beat Dustin at everything.  Of course, it all comes back to get him later when Dustin beats the crap out of him.  All the signs that things are going to get nasty in the rivalry between Brett and Dustin are there.

 

9. The whole story takes place in the span of one week, with most of the action taking place over three days from December 19-21, 2000.  So different from the other books in the series.  In fact, I'd say overall that Cold Winter is the oddball of the series.  It's almost all meant to set up future events in the series.  I introduce a bunch of high school characters in the first chapter, but I won't use them until later.  The bickering between Brett and Dustin is mostly unseen and in the background.  The discussion between Billy and his mom at Billy's birthday meal is there to set up their eventual story.  The big moment at the park, the first kiss, is quickly shut down by Billy.  He puts everything on hold with Brett almost immediately after the kiss, not willing to commit fully until a later day.  Of course, stringing Brett and Dustin along will become Billy's calling card in later episodes. (Joey calls him out on that in the bowling chapter, and then throughout the story.)

[Former Member]

I'm glad you haven't written us totally out of your life!  ;–)

[jkwsquirrel]

How can we miss you if you won't go away?  Ha ha!  Still lurking in the shadows around here, continuing to read through WAR with a reader's eye instead of an author's eye.  So what are my thoughts having completed The Broken Boy?  Here you go:

 

1. This was the beginning of Billy's dickhead stage.  Such an abrupt turn from the ending of Cold Winter to the grumpy guy we meet in Broken Boy.  Of course, knowing that Billy was also dealing with some autism issues makes his behavior more understandable.  There were several times when someone confronted him about his behavior and Billy was simply oblivious to what they were talking about because he didn't get it.

 

2.  Brett's pot usage lurked beneath the surface throughout the story.  Billy's obliviousness to this one was a little of him simply not knowing what marijuana smells like (did Brett get a skunk?), a little of him not expecting Brett to do something Billy would never even think about doing, and a lot of Billy simply denying it when the truth became obvious.  "I looked around Brett's room for like forty seconds and didn't find anything."

 

3. The early focus on Dustin's home life was really sad and depressing, but it shed necessary light on his later actions.  We had to go there to see what was happening.

 

4. At some point between Dustin's card game with Billy and Billy discovering Dustin's relationship with Mike, Dustin began his foray into the park at night.  Dustin throws some subtle hints that you catch on a second reading that might be missed the first time.  He is pleased that Mike won't be around at night in the park and that it'll make things easier for him.

 

5. Brett vs. Dustin was simmering below the surface throughout, with Billy caught in the middle.  The boys fired most of their shots by taking swipes at the other to Billy.  They both want the same thing, and Dustin even takes his best shot at getting Billy, but Billy pulls back from the edge at the last possible minute, leaving Dustin unfulfilled and seeking love elsewhere.

 

6. I really wanted Dustin's first swear word, calling Billy an asshole, to be impactful.  After all he's been through, it's Billy's betrayal that finally leads him to curse.  His use of foul language will only worsen as his story progresses, a sign of his deterioration along with his lengthening hair.

 

7. George's story was quite tragic.  He wanted so much to not become his father, even disavowing his own first name and going by his middle name.  But in the heat of the moment, with his health deteriorating, he became the physically and verbally abusive monster he had tried to tame for years.  Did Billy deserve to get slapped after calling his father an asshole?  Maybe or maybe not.  George was scary in that scene, not just from Billy's perspective, but from Paula's as well.  There's a reason George repeatedly warned Billy to watch his temper - he knows how destructive that temper can be.  He could have lost his son that night.  In that scene we saw a side of George that was very disturbing.  I mean sure, a lot of people might have wanted to knock Billy around after the way he acted, but to see his father hit him and terrorize him was one of the most disturbing parts of the story.  How the mighty have fallen...

 

8. It was meant to be a humorous scene, but it really revealed a lot when Billy tried to tutor Brett.  Billy begins to understand Brett more deeply as he experiences Brett's struggles to read, and he realizes that he cannot "fix" Brett.  That's a big moment for Billy, who comes from a family of fixers.

 

9. The Broken Boy is a story of deteriorating lives.  Dustin's life is crap, Brett is struggling with drug use and a severe learning disability, George's health is failing, Billy's school life sucks as he faces bullying from a former friend, and Paula is helpless as her family is unraveling around her.  And yet it's out of that mess that the love between Billy and Brett begins to thrive.