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Beta needed - Part 2


comicfan

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I'm presently working on two different projects. This is a one shot, approximately 2,000+ words.

 

Wanted - Are you good at seeing the problems? Not afraid to be honest with someone? Got a good red pen and not afraid to use it? Then I have a project for you!

 

The story - Blue, Brownie, and Wedding White

This came about because of Cia's little project for the site - Two Nouns. Well after a really short scene people wanted more. I caved

and wrote more. I'm sure even with this expansion, it wont be enough, but it all depends on what you as a beta need more of, or less of.

 

Sample -

Buzzz! Buzzz! Buzzz!
The buzzer for Bradley’s alarm clock pierced the silence, forcing him to push the hair out of his face, then blindly feel for the button to kill the alarm.
“Too damn early,” he mumbled as he grabbed his glasses and slid them on. He hurried to the bathroom to pee, wash his face, and brush his teeth. He was on automatic pilot, just going about his normal routine.
Bradley stumbled to the kitchen and started brewing a cup of coffee in his Kuerig before pouring himself a bowl of corn flakes. He yawned and scratched his face, waiting for the machine to finally finish brewing his cup. He poured some milk into his coffee and was about to sit down when his doorbell rang. He set the mug on his kitchen table and squinted at the front of the house.
“Who could want me at this hour?” Bradley rubbed his eyes and wandered to the front door. He opened it and took a moment for him to realize no one was there. He began to close the door when his sleep addled mind realized something was wrong.
Pulling the door wide open, Bradley discovered the roads in front of his house were gone. Instead of the flow of traffic, he presently found a park, or maybe a forest starting at the edge of his yard. He could clearly see the elms, oaks, cherry trees, and more where the three streets should merge in front of his house. The trees were barely lit as the sun rose into the sky.
“This has to be a dream.” Bradley shook his head and was about to close the door when he heard a high pitched whistle. Pausing to look around he spotted a small pink and violet ball, barely larger than a golf ball, shot out of the park, hurtled at incredible speed across his yard, and flew right past his ear.
“What the hell was that?” Bradley turned quickly and looked into his hallway. He found the ball sliding around on his hardwood floor, going from the hall into his open living room, finally coming to a halt under his glass coffee table.
As he watched in amazement, the ball slowly seemed to split open like an egg and a fully formed man stood up. The man stood all of a six inches high, was a deep indigo color, and totally nude.
“I really need to wake up,” Bradley muttered as he rubbed his eyes and then slapped his own cheek.
“Funny way to greet a guest,” came a deep rich voice from the figure on the floor. He stood with his arms crossed watching every move Bradley made.
“Guest?” Bradley squeaked as he took a sudden step back, hit his front door, knocking it closed.
Click. There was a flash of light and then silence as Bradley heard the door close behind him.
“Finally,” came the same rich voice as the figure walked toward Bradley, growing rapidly to over six feet. “I was beginning to wonder if you were ever going to close that door. Did you grow up in a barn or something?”
 

 

 

 

So if this appeals to you feel free to contact me.

Thank you,

Wayne aka comicfan

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I can do this one for you, if you want (more, more, more!--just practicing ;)  lol).  If you can wait a week or so.  I have a couple in the queue ahead of you.  I can edit too, or just beta.  Whatever you prefer. :)

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On 6/18/2017 at 10:20 PM, Valkyrie said:

I can do this one for you, if you want (more, more, more!--just practicing ;)  lol).  If you can wait a week or so.  I have a couple in the queue ahead of you.  I can edit too, or just beta.  Whatever you prefer. :)

Thank you, Val. No rush. Let me know when you have time. I'm easy to get along with. If you can fit both, edit and beta, great. If not I know you have no problem asking for more or shredding what doesn't work.

Edited by comicfan
Wanted to make it clear.
  • Like 1
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8 hours ago, comicfan said:

Thank you, Val. No rush. Let me know when you have time. I'm easy to get along with. If you can fit both, edit and beta, great. If not I know you have no problem asking for more or shredding what doesn't work.

You can send it anytime.  I probably won't get to it until next week, though.  I have a 29 page chapter to edit, plus two chapters to beta read, plus my own writing, so this week is booked pretty solid.  

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I'll send it Sunday. That way you don't need to do more than focus on what you already have. Thank you.:hug:

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