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Cia's Weekend Writing Challenge #2: Word Choices


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7 hours ago, Valkyrie said:

My sentence:  

I shook my head as I gazed longingly at the verdant, golden, rainbow-hued, colorful city skyline of New York City, wishing and hoping and dreaming that my long days of being the lone single person of my group of friends was coming to an end.  

 

A poem came to my mind:


I looked at the skyline of New York City,
The towers proud and erect in the morning sun.
"Yes," I said. My heart filled with longing.
"I answered your call and the darkness is gone."

--------------------------------------


My sentences:

The day started bad. I woke up with a headache. The day was cold and gray. Rain was falling down and thick, gray clouds made me feel bad and sad. I felt even worse when I thought of you and your silly excuses. They had caused me a headache and made me feel bad.
 

Edited by Dolores Esteban
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  • 2 weeks later...
On 7/1/2018 at 12:12 AM, Dolores Esteban said:

The day started bad. I woke up with a headache. The day was cold and gray. Rain was falling down and thick, gray clouds made me feel bad and sad. I felt even worse when I thought of you and your silly excuses. They had caused me a headache and made me feel bad.

The day began with a throbbing headache. The heavy rain and dark sky made me melancholy. Adding to my depression were thoughts of you and your pathetic excuses.

 

My sentences:

The bright, cheery, happy child ran giggling fantastically over the deep green grass to her poor, tired, sleepy father. He loosely held her tiny, tiny, little hand and they strolled purposely to the huge slide. Quickly, they rode it down with each other.

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On 6/30/2018 at 4:12 PM, Cia said:

Challenge A: Pick an adjective or adverb for the blank.

 

1. One __________ morning in December, I rode the train to Central Park. 

 

2. Under the _____________ overpass, it was ______________ with bags and boxes littered about. 

 

3. Betty waited ____________ for David to arrive for their _______________ date. 

 

4. It was a ____________ house just _______________ for the small family moving in. 

 

5. The _________ music playing from next door was _________ through the open window. 

1. One bright morning in December, I rode the train to Central Park.

2. Under the crumbling overpass, it was trashed with bags and boxes littered about.

3. Betty waited impatiently for David to arrive for their power date.

4. It was a new house just built for the small family moving in.

5. The techno music playing from next door was loud through the open window.

 

I'm not a good editor.

C-c-c-c-combo-break!

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On 6/30/2018 at 4:12 PM, Cia said:

Challenge B: Edit for repetitious word choices, redundant phrases, etc... 

 

Our family is going on a trip this summer to Yosemite National Park. It is a long trip by car. We will drive there over several days and take a lot of pictures with our cameras. We will camp in the park and do lots of hikes. We hope to see lots of animals. We also plan to stop by Silverwood Theme Park. We plan to do lots of rides at Silverwood Theme Park, including lots of rollercoasters. My daughter doesn't like rollercoasters, she is scared of rollercoasters because they go upside down. She doesn't want to go on the scary rides that go upside down. The rest of us love them and don't think they are scary because we love rollercoasters that go fast and upside down. 

 

Our family's vacationing at Yosemite National Park this summer. Several days of driving, camping, and hiking should allow for plenty of animal sightings and countless picture-taking opportunities. We'll also stop at Silverwood Theme Park to enjoy the rides; including multiple roller coasters, even though my daughter dislikes them. The upside down sections scare the crap out of her and she refuses to even look at them. She'll wait alone while we ride. The rest of us love the speed and flips.

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On ‎6‎/‎30‎/‎2018 at 4:12 PM, Cia said:

1. One __________ morning in December, I rode the train to Central Park. 

 

2. Under the _____________ overpass, it was ______________ with bags and boxes littered about. 

 

3. Betty waited ____________ for David to arrive for their _______________ date. 

 

4. It was a ____________ house just _______________ for the small family moving in. 

 

5. The _________ music playing from next door was _________ through the open window.  

 

 

I'm game! As adjectives can truly paint a picture for readers, and it differs from person to person! :P

 

Here we go...

 

1. One adventurous morning in December, I rode the train to Central Park. 

 

2. Under the recently abandoned overpass, it was recklessly littered with bags and boxes littered about. 

 

3. Betty waited ravenously for David to arrive for their spur-of-the-moment date. 

 

4. It was an oversized house just tailor made for the small family moving in. 

 

5. The raunchy and unrestricted music playing from next door was thundering its way through the open window.

 

Hehehe, what do you guys think? :P 

 

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22 minutes ago, Comicality said:

 

5. The raunchy and unrestricted music playing from next door was thundering its way through the open window.

 

Hehehe, what do you guys think? :P 

 

I think you wrote #5 about my next door neighbors.  :unsure: 

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On 7/11/2018 at 7:52 PM, BHopper2 said:

1. One bright morning in December, I rode the train to Central Park.

2. Under the crumbling overpass, it was trashed with bags and boxes littered about.

3. Betty waited impatiently for David to arrive for their power date.

4. It was a new house just built for the small family moving in.

5. The techno music playing from next door was loud through the open window.

 

4 hours ago, Comicality said:

1. One adventurous morning in December, I rode the train to Central Park. 

2. Under the recently abandoned overpass, it was recklessly littered with bags and boxes littered about. 

3. Betty waited ravenously for David to arrive for their spur-of-the-moment date. 

4. It was an oversized house just tailor-made for the small family moving in. 

5. The raunchy and unrestricted music playing from next door was thundering its way through the open window.

 

 

I love how we each put different words in the blanks, and how it changes the meaning of the sentences. Similiar, but different at the same time.

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