Make us Laugh! #2

[Page Scrawler]

[Timothy M.]

On 3/10/2019 at 8:54 PM, jamessavik said:

 

Today is the correct day to post this, as Europe hit summer time last night. But the EU is considering abolishing the concept.

[Wesley8890]

I just got kicked out of Karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" six times in a row.

They said I exceeded my maximum number of Loggins attempts.

[TalonRider]

In a convent in Ireland, old Mother Superior lay quietly. She was dying. The nuns had gathered around her bed, laying garlands around her and trying to make her last journey comfortable. They wanted to give her warm milk to drink but she declined. One of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen.

 Then, remembering a bottle of Irish Whiskey that had been received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk.

 Back at Mother Superior's bed, they lifted her head gently and held the glass to her lips. The frail nun drank a little, then a little more and before they knew it, she had finished the whole glass down to the last drop.

 As her eyes brightened, the nuns thought it would be a good opportunity to have one last talk with their spiritual leader. "Mother," the nuns asked earnestly, "please give us some of your wisdom before you leave us."

 She raised herself up very slowly in the bed on one elbow, looked at them and said, "Do not sell that cow!"

[Daddydavek]

Obituaries are usually solemn and dignified but I came across one that made me laugh out loud and it is a real one! Somehow I imagine this guy is having the last laugh!

Here is the link:

https://www.schluterbalikfuneralhome.com/obituary/tim-schrandt

 

I read about it on Yahoo which reported it had gone viral and had to go to the actual site to read it.  Here's the Yahoo link:

https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/iowa-mans-family-warns-god-arrival-viral-obituary-good-luck-020427216.html

[Page Scrawler]

@Daddydavek Continuing the same train of thought...

31-year-old man dies suddenly. Cause of death unknown. Newspaper requires a COD in order to publish an obituary, so this is what his friends and family came up with:

"Winter Haven---Stephen Merrill, 31, passed away February 12th, 2015, due to an uppercut from Batman."

Edited April 7, 2019 by Page Scrawler

[Wesley8890]

4 hours ago, Daddydavek said:

Obituaries are usually solemn and dignified but I came across one that made me laugh out loud and it is a real one! Somehow I imagine this guy is having the last laugh!

Here is the link:

https://www.schluterbalikfuneralhome.com/obituary/tim-schrandt

 

I read about it on Yahoo which reported it had gone viral and had to go to the actual site to read it.  Here's the Yahoo link:

https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/iowa-mans-family-warns-god-arrival-viral-obituary-good-luck-020427216.html

I am dying!

[TLM280249]

[JamesSavik]

The south is a different place. Louisiana is even  more so.

Cajun Weather...

 

 

[TalonRider]

The latest sign.

Horses Walk On Their Fingernails.

[TLM280249]

[Page Scrawler]

"Dear Justin Beiber haters,"

"I owe my life to Justin. On March 9th, 2009, I was in a coma for six months after a terrible car crash. One day, my nurse turned the radio to Justin's song, so I got up and turned the radio off."

Edited April 18, 2019 by Page Scrawler

[TalonRider]

As seen at a local Nursery:

Hooray, it's Spring

I'm so excited,

I peed my plants.

[Wesley8890]

Happy Easter be careful of eggs!

[TalonRider]

Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures.

Remember, when someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, but it only takes four muscles to extend your arm and slap the idiot upside the head.

[Page Scrawler]

I love the bit about the Founding Fathers.   

[Caz Pedroso]

 

[TLM280249]

[TalonRider]

Local Sign:

I ate a whole bottle of Flintstone Vitamins

Threw my father like a football.

[Page Scrawler]

When Ivan the Terrible’s son Dmitri died, a bell was rung in Uglich to mark the death.  The bell was later lashed, tried for treason, found guilty and exiled to Siberia. 

[TLM280249]

[Wesley8890]

[Wesley8890]

Try not to laugh i dare you

 

[TalonRider]

No, I'm not going to your damn dogs funeral.

My cat's getting married that day.

[Page Scrawler]