Open Those Ears-- Walk on the Lighter Side of Dialogue

[Cia]

We all know those one liners that get posted, right? Or the out-of-context convos or texts? Nothing is better as an author than listening and watching those around you to snatch bits and pieces of the lives of perfect strangers, or coworkers, or your family and friends and using it to further your craft around dialogue. Because you can be learning 24/7 if you just...

 

Open those ears! 

 

Unfurl those flappy ears and start listening! If you want to write dialogue, first listen for it. Let's take a walk on the lighter side and share something that might be unusual/funny or mean something different from what's said based on context we can't see but you could, and post it here. 

[Brayon]

"Be careful of the bones. That's all that is left."

[Superpride]

Yeah, recently I was in Target with my mother, hunting for DVDs that we can watch for the Christmas season which included the movie Home Alone.  While I was browsing the assortment of movies and television shows available on the shelves, a man was talking to someone on his phone, so the conversation wasn't direct.  However, the man was pretty vocal as he was talking to who I assume was his son or daughter.  Anyways, he was talking to his son or daughter about how his or her grandfather was from a different generation and that he or she also needed to understand that he couldn't sell the house or something like that.  I'm pretty sure it was related to Thanksgiving when families come together for a possibly argumentative dinner scene.  I usually stray away from people like that since I don't want to hear anything awkward; however, I now wish I could've heard more of that conversation since it can indeed help me make the dialogue in my stories read more realistically, especially since the man was talking on his phone for several minutes and letting anyone near him overhear his conversation.  I should do this more often, including in the library of my university.  I can't do this with own family since they mostly speak Tagalog, and since I can't speak that language myself, I am mostly out of the loop with what they are talking about haha.

[CassieQ]

Overheard at work from my boss:  "So sometimes I do this pistoning technique, where I just go in and out and in and out.  And sometimes, I'll try to hit it from different angles.  Or, if it's really sensitive, sometimes I'll just put the tip in, or I'll just put it in and leave it."  I started laughing and had to leave.    

 

Spoiler

He was referring to dry needling and I have a filthy mind.

 

[Page Scrawler]

I'm currently in the process of writing a story where one scene of dialogue goes like this:

 

Spoiler

Boy 1: It's gone. It's gone, it's gone, it's gone."

 

Boy 2: "What the hell were you doing out there?! The water is freezing at this time of year! Are you trying to get yourself killed?!"

 

Boy 1: "It's gone, it's gone. It's all gone. My life is gone."

 

Boy 2: "What's gone?!"

 

Boy 1: "My money. I saved it all for five years. I was going to go to college. Then that...that selfish bitch spent it all--$50,000--on a fucking diamond necklace."

 

Boy 2: "Oh, man. That sounds like it really sucks donkey dick."

 

Boy 1: "Yeah, tell me about it."

 

Boy 2: "I wouldn't know. I've never actually sucked a dick before. Not for a lack of trying."

 

Boy 1: "Wait, what?!"

 

Boy 2: "Just seeing if you're still paying attention."

I put it in a spoiler, because naughty words. Read at your own risk.    I tried to use shock value to make it funny, because the situation called for a lighter tone after a serious near-drowning.

I started writing this one after I heard a friend of Mickey's say "That sucks ****** ****." from the next room. Little brat had a mean mouth on him.  Anyway, I wondered what sort of news could be bad enough to earn that kind of blue-lettering, so, this is what I came up with.

Edited May 23, 2019 by Page Scrawler

[Cia]

Conversation I just had:

 

My son: Oh, Mom... What am I thinking? Oh, um--

Me: Hell if I know, and I really don't think I want to!! 

My son: No, I was talking to myself. 

Me: You call yourself Mom? 

 

Yeah, nothing like my son having a random conversation with himself in the middle of his conversation with me.

[Thorn Wilde]

I can't think of anything of my own, but this reminded me so much of this Lewis Black clip (Fair warning: he swears. Like most comedians.)

 

 

[Thirdly]

What if you write too much dialogue? *hides beneath a fort of pillows*

[Brayon]

"Here you go "A". I brought you back a Hot Irishman."

[Thorn Wilde]

2 hours ago, Thirdly said:

What if you write too much dialogue? *hides beneath a fort of pillows*

 

No such thing. My stories basically consist entirely of dialogue and porn, so...  

[Brayon]

While at Walmart this morning...

 

Lady 1: "I still don't know what to get him."

Lady 2: "Get him that vibrator gun thing. You know he will use that."

 

I think they were talking about this: https://theragun.com/

It's a piston action rubber ball that you use on muscles after you work out. I know some of the Lightning Players who use it.

[Brayon]

Last night while at the Emergency Room:

Woman 1: He did it to himself. I'm not sure how he got it in sideways.

Woman 2: It's not the first time. They think he fractured it this time.

*Elevator door closes, and I didn't hear what he fractured sticking it in sideways*

[Thorn Wilde]

On 5/22/2019 at 8:34 PM, Brayon said:

Last night while at the Emergency Room:

Woman 1: He did it to himself. I'm not sure how he got it in sideways.

Woman 2: It's not the first time. They think he fractured it this time.

*Elevator door closes, and I didn't hear what he fractured sticking it in sideways*

...I feel like this is one of those 'If it weren't for my horse' moments.

[Talo Segura]

On 12/5/2018 at 7:42 PM, Thirdly said:

What if you write too much dialogue? *hides beneath a fort of pillows*

You can't write too much dialogue, look at my story. Some readers might not like it, but you write what YOU like.

[Marty]

Overheard from the next toilet cubicle to the one I was using, about twenty years ago...

"No, I'm not doing it."

(pause)

"I don't care how much you offer me, I'm not doing it."

(another pause)

By this time, my curiosity was well and truly peaked. Although I could only hear one voice, it seemed that the next cubicle was occupied by more than one person. The person speaking was talking in a low, but very clear voice.

"Do you not understand the word No?"

(yet another pause)

By this time I was actually starting to feel worried for the guy. It seemed as though he might be in danger of an unwanted sexual advance. I wondered if I should cough to make my presence known; or even whether I should speak up.

The voice started up again.

Spoiler

"Look, I'm on my way to Dublin. I'm currently in a café near Mullingar. I'm not heading all the way back to Sligo, just because you forgot to ask me to bring it with me. You'll either have to post it, or send it down some other way."

Spoiler

It was then I realised that he was using one of those new-fangled mobile phones.

 

 

[Brayon]

At the story, during a late night grocery run. Horrible pick-up line.

 

Guy to another guy: "You know I don't like sunsets. But I would watch you go down."

[Krista]

On 12/5/2018 at 4:42 PM, Thorn Wilde said:

 

No such thing. My stories basically consist entirely of dialogue and porn, so...  

Yeah, there is no such thing as too much dialogue. Let it fly. Although, boring info-dumpy dialogue could be a problem, but that is off-topic. As an avid eavesdropper (it comes from being southern I think), I am all up in everyone's conversations until they look at me like, "What?" Then I just turn my ear to them so I can hear them better w/out tipping them off. 

[Talo Segura]

9 hours ago, Krista said:

Yeah, there is no such thing as too much dialogue. Let it fly.

One of my first launches into writing was Camp Echo, a story where the first two chapters were heavily criticised for being almost entirely dialogue. And heavily criticised means the story was rejected by several sites and my writing ability questioned. I published it here because no one else wanted it, and got some good feedback. Later I published on another site when I had worked on it a bit and it was well received. It's difficult when you start out and it could have been the end of my writing had I not found this site.

[Krista]

9 hours ago, Talo Segura said:

One of my first launches into writing was Camp Echo, a story where the first two chapters were heavily criticised for being almost entirely dialogue. And heavily criticised means the story was rejected by several sites and my writing ability questioned. I published it here because no one else wanted it, and got some good feedback. Later I published on another site when I had worked on it a bit and it was well received. It's difficult when you start out and it could have been the end of my writing had I not found this site.

I was being a bit tongue-in-cheek, there are many ways where too much dialogue can be detrimental to the story telling. A lot of dialogue isn't a bad thing, I do stand by that. I am a heavy dialogue writer. Now there are bad ways to go about dialogue. Head hopping, info-dumping, telling instead of showing, etc. Where excessive dialogue could become an issue. Writing does need to be balanced. An editor that worked for a publishing agency did a video of why publishers reject a story within the first two or three chapters. One of her main points was that the first chapters should introduce your story in a way that hooks the readers. Exclusive or heavy dialogue within the first two chapters may have been a bit confusing to the readers as to what was going on and why. Using heavy dialogue to introduce a story to readers may not have been a way to go about it? I am no expert though.