Beta ready for short story.

[Robert Benton]

Hi I'm looking for a beta reader for a short story, about 9 to 10 pages long. I was going for a Hereditary horror vibe and I wanted to some feedback. My questions are...

1. Is the perspective I've chosen namely first person a good fit or should I try somethiing else? 

2. Does the past tense work for this story or would it be better off as present tense? 

3. Does the middle need more body? 

4. Do my prose need more variety ? 

5. As well as general critiques on flow, grammar, and tone. 

I'm  not writing  long form work right now, just shorts so their is no major commitment.Hope to here back from someone soon. Thanks. ^.^ 

[W_L]

On 2/18/2019 at 8:14 PM, Robert Benton said:

Hi I'm looking for a beta reader for a short story, about 9 to 10 pages long. I was going for a Hereditary horror vibe and I wanted to some feedback. My questions are...

1. Is the perspective I've chosen namely first person a good fit or should I try somethiing else? 

2. Does the past tense work for this story or would it be better off as present tense? 

3. Does the middle need more body? 

4. Do my prose need more variety ? 

5. As well as general critiques on flow, grammar, and tone. 

I'm  not writing  long form work right now, just shorts so their is no major commitment.Hope to here back from someone soon. Thanks. ^.^ 

 

If you want, I am more than willing to help Beta your story.

 

As a reader, Question 1 and 2 depends on the actual narrative, if you are writing a story in 1st person as a recollection, then past tense works well. Or, if you are very descriptive of other character's backgrounds, emotions, and state of mind, then 3rd person works better. Also, there's always the style of Stream of Consciousness, which necessitates present tense at times.

 

If you will accept my humble service, feel free to pm me.