Where are you from, and what is the LGBTQ+ community in your area like?

[Cscampbell]

Hey guys I don't know if this has ever been done here before, but it seems like a cool idea.

We have people from all over the world here, and every place's culture and idea's are different. Give us an idea of what its like to be LGBTQ+ wherever you live.

I live in rural central Georgia, USA. It's right in the middle of the bible belt, so growing up, LGBTQ+ people were kind of frowned upon. It's a little easier now, you don't have to worry about getting beat up for who you are, or who you love, but there are still a lot of people who won't talk to you or gives you hostile looks and comments.
From my understanding there is and has been am pretty active LGBTQ+ community in Atlanta, but I've never checked it out, at least not yet.

Looking forward to hearing from others on their community's.

Love! 

[Drew Espinosa]

I live in the Texas Panhandle, which is pretty rural, and therefore a rather difficult place to live out and proud (I'm still in the closet, myself). I feel like things have changed for the better where I live, at least based on personal experience. For example, when I attended high school nearly ten years ago (has it really been that long, lol?) I remember my mother remarking on my cousin, who attended the same high school, "looking gay" because he had his ears pierced. The thing was, he was the quarterback, he looked like the stereotypical American jock, and he had a girlfriend, thing's that don't scream "gay!" but because he had his ears pierced... I digress. Anyways, flashforward to now, and my nephew (he isn't LGBT+) is in high school, and he has his ears pierced and uses black nail polish, and yet I've never heard my mother say he looked gay or anything like that, which I do take as a sign for the better.

Beyond my personal experiences, Amarillo is a city of 200,000, so it's large enough to host an active, if small, LGBT+ community, but I've still yet to actively check it out. 

[Page Scrawler]

I live in Northern Michigan. It's pretty rural, a lot of farming and agriculture, but living in the "Cherry Capital" means that it has a "big city" vibe. There's only one gay bar that I know of, called "Sidetraxx". It looks pretty seedy, so I've never been there, but my husband and I always make a point of attending the local Pride parade in June. Usually there's one or two picketers, but small town = small fringe group. I've actually seen quite a few teens and tweens at the Pride festival; straight, gay, bi, trans, non-binary, singles, couples. It's a pretty relaxed atmosphere, and I love it. Of course, it hasn't been held since Covid reared its head, but hopefully they'll reinstate it this year.

[astone2292]

Originally from a small town of 3,500 in Southern Indiana. A literal Mayberry from The Andy Griffith Show. I would not be surprised if there's a kid walking around with a propeller hat at this moment. There's an unspoken dress-code to wear clothes with the town's name and logos 24/7. I've seen go-kart engine-equipped lawn mowers riding in the streets.

Enough poking fun. The LGBTQ community was nonexistent when I lived there. You either kept it hidden, or you were a perverted fornicator. In recent years, the town's made a complete one-eighty. The high school has a pride club, and the newly elected mayor is LGBTQ. Even the people are changing their behavior. Some of my teachers were fire and brimstone Catholic, and when I bartended for this year's festival, they congratulated me and my husband on our marriage. 

Now we're in a Western Kentucky city of 50,000. Much more accepting, surprisingly. Much less Bible-belty, even more surprisingly. Kentucky has been a breath of fresh air. It's a state often overlooked, but my husband and I feel safe here. 

Edited April 9, 2022 by astone2292

[TetRefine]

I live in Manhattan, so it's arguably one of the top 3 most gay-friendly places in the USA. There's a thriving and long-established gay scene here, spread out amongst multiple neighborhoods (Hell's Kitchen, Chelsea, and the West Village being the gayest). If you walk down 9th Avenue between 40th St. and 55th, it feels like you're in a big gay town, with tons of gay bars/clubs, rainbow flags, and hot guys walking down the street. You can be publicly affectionate with your partner and most people won't even bother to notice. There's predominantly gay gyms, an activist scene, thriving nightlife/party culture, gay sports leagues, and various other social formations. 

The gay Manhattan scene also tends to be relatively/straight-up affluent and professional, so you'll often meet people in positions of power in many facets of life. 

There are very few places where it is easier to be a gay male than Manhattan. 

[ReaderPaul]

I live in an area not technically rural, but not big city, either.  It is a very conservative, mostly redneck (though the majority of business owners try to hide that to visitors) area.  Most of the area population is either very Bible-belt conservative or just plain opportunists conservative.  The closest gay friendly bar is over 40 miles away.

I mostly keep my mouth shut, because many (especially females) are vocally anti gay/bi/trans/queer.  I have found a FEW open-minded persons -- but only a few.  Conservative conditioning is strong here.  One of my black friends, C, was followed by the sheriff's department for the first nine months he lived in this area.  He happened to mention it to his (white) pastor, and the pastor went over to the sheriff's department and chewed them out enough that they stopped following my friend C.  Now, C has lived in the area about 20 years, and has no trouble.  But some who are gay or bi are still watched, though in more of a subtle way than it used to be.

Some things have improved, but slowly.

[Mawgrim]

I live in a relatively small village in Derbyshire. Quite a few local towns, such as Derby, Nottingham and Chesterfield hold Pride events and most have at least one gay bar. Manchester and Birmingham are just a short drive away (around 45 minutes) for clubs and nightlife (although I'm a bit old for that these days!). I've never personally encountered any prejudice, even though I'm out to everyone and all my neighbours are aware I have a husband. Yes, there is homophobia and transphobia in the UK, often driven by the more rabid right-wing newspapers, but on the whole, things are a lot better than they were in the days when I was growing up. There will always be ignorant yobs, of course, same as anywhere. It may be there is less in your face prejudice because the UK in general is not very religious - it's considered socially unacceptable to wave your religious credentials in people's faces and will probably lose you friends. 

[Mancunian]

I live in Manchester which is one of the major cities in the UK. It is very cosmopolitan and multi-cultural and so it is generally very accepting of all, although as with most areas there are still instances of discrimination sometimes being violent. It has an established gay community and 'Gay Village' where there are many gay bars as well as other gay friendly gay venues. Over all it is a good and accepting place to live where all are welcome.

Edited April 15, 2022 by Mancunian

[James K]

On 4/15/2022 at 1:14 PM, Mancunian said:

I live in Manchester ... Over all it is a good and accepting place to live where all are welcome.

Maybe not, reading this... A man who moved to Manchester because it is so inclusive was almost killed in a homophobic attack. Police confirmed the incident in Chinatown at 1.35am was a ‘homophobically aggravated assault’ https://metro.co.uk/2022/04/22/man-22-left-for-dead-in-homophobic-attack-after-moving-to-inclusive-manchester-16517511/

It could happen anywhere, for sure, which only shows you still need to be careful, wherever you live, which shouldn't be the case.

[Mancunian]

On 4/15/2022 at 12:14 PM, Mancunian said:

I live in Manchester which is one of the major cities in the UK. It is very cosmopolitan and multi-cultural and so it is generally very accepting of all, although as with most areas there are still instances of discrimination sometimes being violent. It has an established gay community and 'Gay Village' where there are many gay bars as well as other gay friendly gay venues. Over all it is a good and accepting place to live where all are welcome.

 

4 hours ago, James K said:

Maybe not, reading this... A man who moved to Manchester because it is so inclusive was almost killed in a homophobic attack. Police confirmed the incident in Chinatown at 1.35am was a ‘homophobically aggravated assault’ https://metro.co.uk/2022/04/22/man-22-left-for-dead-in-homophobic-attack-after-moving-to-inclusive-manchester-16517511/

It could happen anywhere, for sure, which only shows you still need to be careful, wherever you live, which shouldn't be the case.

What happened to Morgan Fevre is wrong on every level and I sincerely hope that he has a full recovery. As I stated in my previous post unfortunately there are still instances of discrimination, admittedly some of which are violent and that is totally unacceptable. No matter how accepting and inclusive any town or city is anywhere in the world these attacks do still take place everywhere and I agree that we still have to be 'on our guard' to protect ourselves. I still stick to my previously posted statement, which should be read in full, that over all Manchester is a good and accepting place to live, unfortunately I cannot say that it is totally accepting as nowhere in this world has progressed that far. Bigots and haters will always exist which is an unfortunate fact of life and will probably always be the case.

[TetRefine]

On 4/23/2022 at 2:05 AM, James K said:

Maybe not, reading this... A man who moved to Manchester because it is so inclusive was almost killed in a homophobic attack. Police confirmed the incident in Chinatown at 1.35am was a ‘homophobically aggravated assault’ https://metro.co.uk/2022/04/22/man-22-left-for-dead-in-homophobic-attack-after-moving-to-inclusive-manchester-16517511/

It could happen anywhere, for sure, which only shows you still need to be careful, wherever you live, which shouldn't be the case.

Like mentioned above, random homophobia happens anywhere, even in the most liberal of cities. I remember one time this past winter a friend and I were leaving a warehouse party in Hell's Kitchen at around 5am. Hell's Kitchen is one giant gay neighborhood. We were stumbling down the street, I had my arm around my friend laughing and joking, and we got called 'fucking faggots' by a couple of guys driving by in a car. Does that change the fact that on the whole this is a very gay friendly place to live? No. 

The only place this perfectly gay utopian fantasy land exists is Fire Island Pines, but that isn't real life, it's a vacation spot for three months a year. 

[Krista]

I am aware of more homophobia and racism where I live. Being a heterosexual married woman, I don't get a whole lot of grief from anyone. The entire reason I am here, as in this forum, was partly because I have two friends that experienced severe homophobia in their lives. They were outed by, well not being computer savvy and hiding their searches. That was back in the mid-90s though and to be honest, I never heard the term Queer or the F-word until I was 14, it just wasn't discussed negatively or positively in my very tiny bubble. 

Fast forward to the present, I feel my area of the state (Kentucky), still experiences a ton of growing pains with regards to the community acceptance of LGBTQ. There is a growing presence here statewide as a whole I feel. Directly concerning my area though, there is absolutely nothing here and if you don't have Netflix or some other form of social/entertainment media, there isn't anything of inclusion to note. I lived in Lexington and that city has gotten better on that front, but way worse in a lot of others. I personally wouldn't recommend living there gay, straight, or otherwise.  The other city I live near, is far more peaceful by comparison, but the community isn't as strong, but I feel it will grow with the city itself. 

Around me, we're a more live and let live, be neighborly sort of tiny community, but like I said, my ears hear things I'd rather not hear.  

Edited May 2, 2022 by Krista

[Jkeeletupelo]

I'm in northeast Mississippi (the land of Elvis and Jesus), and there is absolutely zero community here beyond Grindr. There are no bars, no gathering places, and you get the impression that if there were, pepe would not go there. I moved here from Dallas, which has a huge, thriving, ALIVE LGBT community, very active and very much inclusive. I miss it terribly!

[MrM]

I live in the Hillcrest neighborhood which is the Center Of All Rainbows as far as San Diego, CA is concerned. I don’t know for how long though, as Hillcrest is gentrifying.

San Diego is the most conservative of the three main cities in California. Though we do, currently, have a gay mayor, there are still areas in the City and the County that gays best not go to because homophobia is rife there.

Mostly, these places are in the Eastern and Southern parts of our county. Parts of East County are still very ‘Old West’ with very traditional beliefs and a very strong hard-line protestant religious ethic. This is changing, though, as newer generations bring fresher thinking. The Southern part is dominated by traditional Mexican culture which can be homophobic at times. The culture of Machismo is very important there and gays are considered an antithesis to this, particularly effeminate ones. I grew up in the Southern part of San Diego and was sufficiently worried about coming out that I stayed in the closet all my young life. That was partly due to the environment, but also the times. The 80s were a pretty homophobic period to come-of-age despite the heroic work of LGBTQ+ activists during that time. The homophobia may be harder to overcome in Southern San Diego as these beliefs against homosexuality are very old and very strong and thus difficult to change. However, change is slowly progressing down there too.

I hope that Hillcrest can keep its Gay identity as it continues to be fairly vibrant, though not as much as it was at one time. We’ve lost a lot of bars and clubs that used to be raging, flaming successes in the past. COVID further decimated the Gay scene in Hillcrest and opened the neighborhood up for development firms hungry to build high-rise condos near Downtown. I understand the Castro is undergoing a similar gentrification process with gay establishments disappearing in favor of fancy restaurants and expensive condos. West Hollywood seems to be holding tight and continues to be a very vibrant Gayborhood, though COVID did some damage there too. Palm Springs is a rising Gaytropolis in California! Many of my friends have moved there due to lower prices and a dominating gay political and economic influence.

[PrivateTim]

On 7/3/2022 at 9:29 AM, MrM said:

I live in the Hillcrest neighborhood which is the Center Of All Rainbows as far as San Diego, CA is concerned. I don’t know for how long though, as Hillcrest is gentrifying. I hope that Hillcrest can keep its Gay identity as it continues to be fairly vibrant, though not as much as it was at one time. We’ve lost a lot of bars and clubs that used to be raging, flaming successes in the past. I understand the Castro is undergoing a similar gentrification process with gay establishments disappearing in favor of fancy restaurants and expensive condos. West Hollywood seems to be holding tight and continues to be a very vibrant Gayborhood, though COVID did some damage there too. Palm Springs is a rising Gaytropolis in California! Many of my friends have moved there due to lower prices and a dominating gay political and economic influence.

The ironies of ironies is that in California, gays are victims partly of their own success in societal acceptance and partly because of the Internet. Not just Hillcrest, The Castro, WeHo, Palm Springs, but in Laguna Beach, Santa Barbara, Studio City etc, gay bars and clubs are going away. Guys don't need to drive 60 miles to WeHo or Laguna Beach anymore to meet a guy they can surf the Net from home and meet guys in their own area. They can go to local bars, get on Grindr (is that still a thing?) and find someone in Straightsville.

[methodwriter85]

On 5/30/2023 at 12:39 AM, PrivateTim said:

The ironies of ironies is that in California, gays are victims partly of their own success in societal acceptance and partly because of the Internet. Not just Hillcrest, The Castro, WeHo, Palm Springs, but in Laguna Beach, Santa Barbara, Studio City etc, gay bars and clubs are going away. Guys don't need to drive 60 miles to WeHo or Laguna Beach anymore to meet a guy they can surf the Net from home and meet guys in their own area. They can go to local bars, get on Grindr (is that still a thing?) and find someone in Straightsville.

I feel bad for anyone that actually wants to meet hookups at gay bars because it's just not like that anymore. It's really just a place for gays to hang out with their pre-established friends and dance to some gay themed music. Also for straight girls to drag their boyfriends who get "adored" by the DJ for the night.

[TetRefine]

19 hours ago, methodwriter85 said:

I feel bad for anyone that actually wants to meet hookups at gay bars because it's just not like that anymore. It's really just a place for gays to hang out with their pre-established friends and dance to some gay themed music. Also for straight girls to drag their boyfriends who get "adored" by the DJ for the night.

I mean, that's kind of exaggerated. When I was single, I'd go out with friends every weekend and it was a pretty common occurrence for us to go home with people we met that night (and this was as late as last year). It's still like that now, and hell, at some places you can just go to the bathroom and do it. 

At least here in New York, the gay-specific night life scene is thriving and not going anywhere. 

[methodwriter85]

2 hours ago, TetRefine said:

I mean, that's kind of exaggerated. When I was single, I'd go out with friends every weekend and it was a pretty common occurrence for us to go home with people we met that night (and this was as late as last year). It's still like that now, and hell, at some places you can just go to the bathroom and do it. 

At least here in New York, the gay-specific night life scene is thriving and not going anywhere. 

True. New York City is a whole nother beast. 

[MJ85]

A perfect example of how it can be both the most populous city in the U.S. and fairly isolated/insulated unto itself.

[TetRefine]

On 8/31/2023 at 11:04 PM, methodwriter85 said:

True. New York City is a whole nother beast. 

But I've found that to be true of all big cities. When I lived in Philly, the gay club/bar scene was thriving. Traveled to LA, SF, Chicago, Miami, and a bunch of other cities, and gay nightlife is still very much a thing. You simply need a critical mass of people. 

On 9/1/2023 at 2:17 AM, MJ85 said:

A perfect example of how it can be both the most populous city in the U.S. and fairly isolated/insulated unto itself.

True, New York City often feels like another country when compared to 95% of the rest of the US. The longer I've lived here, the more I realize I don't have much in common with the "typical" American living somewhere in rural/flyover country. I'll have much more in common with someone from London or Tokyo or Sao Paolo then I would with someone from Mississippi or Indiana or wherever. 

[Bill W]

On 3/27/2022 at 10:50 PM, Drew Espinosa said:

I live in the Texas Panhandle, which is pretty rural, and therefore a rather difficult place to live out and proud (I'm still in the closet, myself). I feel like things have changed for the better where I live, at least based on personal experience. For example, when I attended high school nearly ten years ago (has it really been that long, lol?) I remember my mother remarking on my cousin, who attended the same high school, "looking gay" because he had his ears pierced. The thing was, he was the quarterback, he looked like the stereotypical American jock, and he had a girlfriend, thing's that don't scream "gay!" but because he had his ears pierced... I digress. Anyways, flashforward to now, and my nephew (he isn't LGBT+) is in high school, and he has his ears pierced and uses black nail polish, and yet I've never heard my mother say he looked gay or anything like that, which I do take as a sign for the better.

Beyond my personal experiences, Amarillo is a city of 200,000, so it's large enough to host an active, if small, LGBT+ community, but I've still yet to actively check it out. 

It's been a year and a half since you first posted this, and with the current climate and laws passed in Texas, do you still feel the same way?  

[Drew Espinosa]

18 hours ago, Bill W said:

It's been a year and a half since you first posted this, and with the current climate and laws passed in Texas, do you still feel the same way?  

Within my family, it's pretty much the same, with one major exception. I didn't mention this last time, but my BIL is really homophobic, and I think he's gotten worse this past year or two. 

[lawfulneutralmage]

BIL?

[Mancunian]

6 minutes ago, lawfulneutralmage said:

BIL?

Brother-in-law, you will see this and other similar abbreviations used on GA

[ReaderPaul]

4 hours ago, Mancunian said:

Brother-in-law, you will see this and other similar abbreviations used on GA

@lawfulneutralmage, common acronyms you might see include not only BIL, but SIL = Sister-in-law; MIL = Mother-in=law; FIL = Father-in-law.  

DRE = Digital Rectal Exam     PSA has two common meanings --  PSA = Prostate-Specific Antigen (a blood test which can indicate prostate cancer)
PSA can also mean Public Service Announcement                         IMO = In My Opinion          IMHO = In My Humble Opinion
IRL = In Real Life                                                                                    DNF = Did Not Finish (applies to reading a story, or to racing cars)
DNF can also = Do Not Forward   or   Do Not Fax   or    Domain Name Finder