DarkShadow Posted November 13, 2006 Share Posted November 13, 2006 You can find it here: https://www.gayauthors.org/eficiton/viewsto...0&chapter=2 I'd appreciate any and all comments and criticisms. Link to comment
shadowgod Posted November 13, 2006 Share Posted November 13, 2006 You can find it here: https://www.gayauthors.org/eficiton/viewsto...0&chapter=2 I'd appreciate any and all comments and criticisms. You are sooo wrong in your assertion that all triumphs belong to birds and sharon One can only be truely as good as what they have to work with. That said, Wow DS, Ive said it before I'll say it again, The way you have twisted around Mythology to suit your stories pourpose with Midnights rainbow is truely inspiring. I'm liking the mythology you have set for the story. I'll need to read more about Asher before I feel one way or another about him, but with one scene you have me liking David. I hope you don't wash this young vampire away as such an expedible character. The only real criticisim I have is in your description, you seemed to use it overly so where Seth's lair is concerned. Im still not completely sure I read the columns part right... All and all I most definately looking forward to the next chapter, and the eventual re-emergance of Lucif. Steve Link to comment
DarkShadow Posted November 13, 2006 Author Share Posted November 13, 2006 You are sooo wrong in your assertion that all triumphs belong to birds and sharon One can only be truely as good as what they have to work with. That said, Wow DS, Ive said it before I'll say it again, The way you have twisted around Mythology to suit your stories pourpose with Midnights rainbow is truely inspiring. I'm liking the mythology you have set for the story. I'll need to read more about Asher before I feel one way or another about him, but with one scene you have me liking David. I hope you don't wash this young vampire away as such an expedible character. The only real criticisim I have is in your description, you seemed to use it overly so where Seth's lair is concerned. Im still not completely sure I read the columns part right... All and all I most definately looking forward to the next chapter, and the eventual re-emergance of Lucif. Steve Thanks much! Asher is going to take a little while to get to know. He's still kind of forming in my mind as much as he is in print. As for David.. we'll see. David didn't get a lot of 'screen time' so to speak, but I 'hope' that his actions spoke louder than his words. As for Seth... heh well... It's the dust buster for him. I did have a lot of fun twisting the old stories to suit me, and I hope that they don't offend anyone. (well not too much anyway As for the description of the chamber... I'll take a look at that and see if there's something I can do with it. Thanks again for giving it a peek! Much appreciated! Shannon Link to comment
C James Posted November 14, 2006 Share Posted November 14, 2006 Excelent! Captivating, and I definitly want to see Ch 2 ASAP. My only criticism would be The walls surged toward me which seemed a bit confusing. I'm very curious as to where you are going with this. What is Asher up to? This definitly gets the Goat seal of Approval. Link to comment
DarkShadow Posted November 14, 2006 Author Share Posted November 14, 2006 Excelent! Captivating, and I definitly want to see Ch 2 ASAP. My only criticism would be which seemed a bit confusing. I'm very curious as to where you are going with this. What is Asher up to? This definitly gets the Goat seal of Approval. Thank you CJ.... I'll take the batteries out of the cattle prod and let you be LOL.. You know me... I get nervous when people don't say anything about a chapter. LOL Though I think the e-dicussion alterations have forshadowed a lot of what's going on. I don't envy the person that has to migrate that into a new environment. It is SO tedius. As you know.... (hehehe) I did that Blizzard anthology thing today... so the druid and this got put on hold.... It was just too unique an experience to pass up. I had to hurry up and get it down in print. If I don't shlep out something for 'the druid' next there's going to be a damn revolt over at nifty so I suppose I should do that next... though honestly... This story has my attention and I hate not to continue... I'm torn... I hate not to write on a certain thing when I REALLY want to continue it. Then again... I'd hate for the editor to have to throttle me. Well... add some whip cream and some soft leather... uhhh nevermind... brain kinda drifted a second... Anyway.... we'll see what comes of it Take care! and thank you much for giving it a read! Link to comment
C James Posted November 14, 2006 Share Posted November 14, 2006 Thank you CJ.... I'll take the batteries out of the cattle prod and let you be LOL.. You know me... I get nervous when people don't say anything about a chapter. LOL Though I think the e-dicussion alterations have forshadowed a lot of what's going on. I don't envy the person that has to migrate that into a new environment. It is SO tedius. As you know.... (hehehe) I did that Blizzard anthology thing today... so the druid and this got put on hold.... It was just too unique an experience to pass up. I had to hurry up and get it down in print. If I don't shlep out something for 'the druid' next there's going to be a damn revolt over at nifty so I suppose I should do that next... though honestly... This story has my attention and I hate not to continue... I'm torn... I hate not to write on a certain thing when I REALLY want to continue it. Then again... I'd hate for the editor to have to throttle me. Well... add some whip cream and some soft leather... uhhh nevermind... brain kinda drifted a second... Anyway.... we'll see what comes of it Take care! and thank you much for giving it a read! My advice is to obey your Muse, not your readers, and write what you feel like. (You know how persnickety Muses can be when not fed...). Link to comment
DarkShadow Posted November 14, 2006 Author Share Posted November 14, 2006 My advice is to obey your Muse, not your readers, and write what you feel like. (You know how persnickety Muses can be when not fed...). LOL definately! You're muse... woofty... A postal worker popping prozac like pezz, and with a straight razor... yeee haawwwww! Link to comment
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