The Druid Dicentra Spectabilis

[DarkShadow]

You can find the story here:

 

Chapter 6 Dicentra Spectabilis "Bleeding Heart"

 

https://www.gayauthors.org/eficiton/viewsto...0&chapter=7

 

Please leave you comments and criticisms here or email me at gaywriter72@yahoo.com

 

Thanks and take care of you!

[C James]

Four words of advice to anyone reading this:

 

Go read it, now!

 

It's excelent! Best chapter yet in my opinion!

 

I really loved the subtle touch with some of the details, such as wind whispering. Artfully done, Darkshadow!!

The ending had my laughing out loud. It was brilliant!!!!

 

[Graeme]

A great chapter -- well done! I agree with C James about the ending. It was very cute.

 

Just one thing...

 

We watched as Sarah and Paul drove up our dusty driveway. They barely paused to glare in our direction before barging into the house. They were people with a purpose. Two intense hours of arguing finally ended with John and Laura slamming the screen door behind them and walking back to their car.

 

...

 

John glared back at the uncles as they stood solemnly at the side door. At about the time Mark was going to speak, Paul cut him short by slamming his car door shut and starting the engine.

I know I've changed character names part way through writing and missed some of the places I used them. I presume "Sarah" and "Paul" were supposed to be "Laura" and "John"? In chapter 5 you listed Brian's parents (deceased) as Paul and Sarah, and that he was raised by his aunt and uncle, Laura and John.

[DarkShadow]

Four words of advice to anyone reading this:

 

Go read it, now!

 

It's excelent! Best chapter yet in my opinion!

 

I really loved the subtle touch with some of the details, such as wind whispering. Artfully done, Darkshadow!!

The ending had my laughing out loud. It was brilliant!!!!

 

 

Thanks much Goat! It's always great to get the thumbs up from you.

 

A great chapter -- well done! I agree with C James about the ending. It was very cute.

Just one thing...

I know I've changed character names part way through writing and missed some of the places I used them. I presume "Sarah" and "Paul" were supposed to be "Laura" and "John"? In chapter 5 you listed Brian's parents (deceased) as Paul and Sarah, and that he was raised by his aunt and uncle, Laura and John.

 

WHOOPS! My editor told me about that and I thought I had them all fixed. I found that I missed a BUNCH! They're corrected now. Thank you for finding that! I suppose it would be difficult for dead people to raise a child. The grocery bill would definately be smaller!

[captainrick]

Thanks much Goat! It's always great to get the thumbs up from you.

WHOOPS! My editor told me about that and I thought I had them all fixed. I found that I missed a BUNCH! They're corrected now. Thank you for finding that! I suppose it would be difficult for dead people to raise a child. The grocery bill would definately be smaller!

 

Rule 1: Always listen to your editor!

 

 

Seriously, best chapter so far. The tempo slowed considerabley after Chapter 5 --WHEW!

I also loved the ending, it wasn't only cute, it was sweet. The story needed a little sentimental tone, That was perfect.

 

Hugs,

 

Rick

[Ieshwar]

Wow, definitely one of my favs. I just love this story, especially this chapter.

 

Ieshwar

[C James]

Rule 1: Always listen to your editor!

Seriously, best chapter so far. The tempo slowed considerabley after Chapter 5 --WHEW!

I also loved the ending, it wasn't only cute, it was sweet. The story needed a little sentimental tone, That was perfect.

 

I definitly agree with the "always listen to your editor" statement! Editors (and beta readers) really make a huge contribution.

I loved this chapter too. That ending really was just perfect!

 

Wow, definitely one of my favs. I just love this story, especially this chapter.

Ieshwar

 

I think we have a consensus here! Well done, Darkshadow!!!