Weird Warnings

[Matthew]

So I was going through the complete series of Friends that I got for my sister for Christmas, making sure that all the disks work, because that's what one must do when buying DVDs in Thailand, and the warning came up. You know, the warning at the beginning of movies that we all love telling us of the severe consequences if we lend the movie to a friend. One of the lines struck me as odd.

 

The definition of private home use excludes the use of this DVD at locations such as clubs, churches, hospitals, hotels, oil rigs, prisons, and schools.

 

Is the public viewing of Friends on oil rigs really such a problem that it needs to be addressed specifically? Or prisons and hospitals? This made me think of all the crazy warnings I've seen and heard in my life and wondered "What makes them think that people need to be told that?" There's a fountain near where I live with fish in it that has a sign warning that a fine will be imposed on those putting fish into the fountain. Do people really do this?

 

So I pose an open question: What's the weirdest warning, either in writing or verbally, that you've ever seen or heard? Including ridiculous warnings on retail products.

Edited November 25, 2006 by Matthew

[DarkShadow]

I would have to say... of all the idiotic signs and warnings I've seen... BUMP is at the top of my list. In Illinois, they don't fix the bumps in the road. They spend the equivalent of money for a sign, that says "BUMP AHEAD". Then... when you got to the bump...

Another sign is planted in the ground. "BUMP" with an arrow pointing to the ground.

 

UHHHHH. HELLO!!!!!!

[TalonRider]

 

[Myk]

lol...love that sign rob!

 

Some signs...

 

 

 

I love how this No Diving sign shows that you will cause an explosion in your neck if you dive here.

 

 

On bottle of water: 'Ingredients: Water'

 

I should know more but I can't remember. If I can think of any good ones I'll be back to post them.

 

Greg

[dkstories]

The Myers Hairdryer sign is because of my Aunt Beverly. A quadrepalegic, she got cold a lot in her room at Grandma's house. along with a wood-burning stove, and two electic floor heaters, she'd use a hairdryer to keep her warm. She fell asleep with it turned on one day and it burned her chest. She won a fairly hefty lawsuit with Myers and lived for several comfortable years off of the proceeds...

[Graeme]

We saw a fold-up pram once, with the warning: "Do not fold with baby inside."

 

A friend of mine told me a story of when he went to an Indian restaurant. Liking spicy food, he ordered the Beef Vindaloo. The waiter looked at him.

 

"Are you sure? It's very hot."

 

My friend said yes, he was sure. The waiter left and a couple of minutes later the head waiter came over.

 

"I believe you've ordered the Beef Vindaloo. I should warn you, it's very hot. Maybe you would prefer something else?"

 

My friend insisted he wanted the Beef Vindaloo.

 

Soon afterwards, the chef came out.

 

"The Beef Vindaloo is very hot. Are you sure you want it?"

 

My friend said yes.

 

...

 

He told me it was the HOTTEST meal he's ever had, but he couldn't say he hadn't been warned.

[JamesSavik]

On the campus of Mississippi State University during the late-seventies a great deal of construction was going on causing all sorts of traffic and parking problems. Creative students saw an oppertunity to escape the terrible traffic tangle by going the wrong way up a fire lane.

 

The campus police put up a DO NOT ENTER SIGN and issued tickets which did nothing to ease the traffic/parking nightmare or the students creative solution.

 

The campus police decided to change the sign to DON'T NEVER, EVER ENTER.

 

This lingusitic nightmarish double-negative was removed after a week for causing numerous accidents as people were so stunned by the gramatically incorrect sign that they kept looking at it and forgetting about the traffic.

[TalonRider]

Safety At Work

[NickolasJames8]

Safety At Work

I think the pile of suitcases is from the airport in Sacramento.

[Trebs]

I think the pile of suitcases is from the airport in Sacramento.

 

 

It is (living in Sac and visiting that airport at least once a month) - part of the artwork in the terminal.

[NickolasJames8]

It is (living in Sac and visiting that airport at least once a month) - part of the artwork in the terminal.

I knew it The first time I saw it I thought it was some kind of tacky art. Now I know for sure it was

[AFriendlyFace]

Is the public viewing of Friends on oil rigs really such a problem that it needs to be addressed specifically?

I had a friend who worked on an oil rig. I'll ask him if he ever watched Friends whilest at work.

So I pose an open question: What's the weirdest warning, either in writing or verbally, that you've ever seen or heard? Including ridiculous warnings on retail products.

 

Hmm well I remember being amused by the instructions on a pack of Moist Towelettes once on a fieldtrip when I was a kid. It was 1) open package 2) clean hands 3) discard towelette....just seems like people woulda worked out that process on their own.

 

I also remember the time a few years back when I was at work and I opened something to discover one of those foil liners on top. Without thinking I blurted out "you know I thought this was going to be sealed for my protection, but it turns out it's sealed for freshness". My coworkers got a kick out of that

[MayaMys]

So I was going through the complete series of Friends that I got for my sister for Christmas, making sure that all the disks work, because that's what one must do when buying DVDs in Thailand, and the warning came up. You know, the warning at the beginning of movies that we all love telling us of the severe consequences if we lend the movie to a friend. One of the lines struck me as odd.

Is the public viewing of Friends on oil rigs really such a problem that it needs to be addressed specifically? Or prisons and hospitals? This made me think of all the crazy warnings I've seen and heard in my life and wondered "What makes them think that people need to be told that?" There's a fountain near where I live with fish in it that has a sign warning that a fine will be imposed on those putting fish into the fountain. Do people really do this?

 

I understand watching it in a hospital. I mean, in the Chidren's section there are a lot of very bored teenagers...what will they do, other then watch Friends? I assume prison is boring, too....as for oil rigs...I'm not sure. Maybe in Thailand...

[xander]

On Hobby

[Dusk]

Boy, my anecdote isn't going to shine in this company. But . . .

 

Back in my twenties, when I was taking a long hike through the swathe of countryside that cuts right into the heart of Oxford, I came across a sign that said, "Wolf on College Meadow. Please keep to the path."

 

Well, you can just bet I did. I sped through that meadow at top speed, swivelling my head from left to right as I went, trying to figure out where they kept the wolf.

 

Only later did I realize that I'd been passing through Wolfson College Meadow.

[C James]

Boy, my anecdote isn't going to shine in this company. But . . .

 

Back in my twenties, when I was taking a long hike through the swathe of countryside that cuts right into the heart of Oxford, I came across a sign that said, "Wolf on College Meadow. Please keep to the path."

 

Well, you can just bet I did. I sped through that meadow at top speed, swivelling my head from left to right as I went, trying to figure out where they kept the wolf.

 

Only later did I realize that I'd been passing through Wolfson College Meadow.

 

Don't feel bad. I nearly did something far worse.

 

Just outside of Torquay (UK), heading southwest, there is a fork in the road with a sign point the way to Kingsbridge. The sign stands at the point of the fork, and has "Kingsbridge" at the top, and arrows pointing to BOTH forks of the road. It so confused me that I nearly drive right into that sign!

[dkstories]

Yes, the story about Aunt Bev is true...

 

 

The handdryer unit she was using was defective, though so it's not as frivolous as it sounded. (It had one of those buttons that was supposed to be pushed to keep it on, and the dryer was supposed to turn off when it wasn't pushed. The hairdryer did not turn off when she fell asleep and her hands dropped the dryer. That was why she won the lawsuit. Their lawyers tried to argue she was using it for a purpose it was never intended, and that ergo she should not have a case because while the hairdryer was defective, if she had used it 'properly' she wouldn't have been burned.)

[Caipirinha]

This sort of needed to be posted.

 

Found it on a toy donkey my cousin Luka had in Italy.

 

[S t e v e n.]

On a bottle of body mist: DO NOT EAT

 

 

lol

[clumber]

ummm...

 

On Tesco Washing Tablets:

 

"If Swallowed, wash out mouth and seek medical advice"

 

What situation could cause you to swallow a washing tablet? You thought it was for washing your stomach?!

[JamesSavik]

From one of the anti-impotence drugs:

 

In the event of an erection lasting more then four hours, seek medical attention immediatly.

 

One would think that the partner of the guy with the four hour boner might need some attention too.

[Luc]

Just read this one tonight on a bag of pistachios: Allergy Warning, may contain pistachios.

[C James]

Liquid plumber bottle: Do not re-use bottle to store beverages.

[Graeme]

I've just read this in The Sydney Morning Herald:

 

Road sign in the North Island of New Zealand: Overconfident Drivers Ahead

[Drewbie]

I've just read this in The Sydney Morning Herald:

 

Road sign in the North Island of New Zealand: Overconfident Drivers Ahead

 

gotta love em, back in the day when I watched Jay leno, they had some intesting news ads, on mistakes.